


A Void Apart

by ChangeTheCircumstances



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Children of Earth Fix-It, Dimension Travel, F/F, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Ianto Jones Lives, M/M, Pete's World, Pete's World Torchwood, Pilot!Ianto, Post Children of Earth, Trying to Cope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-04 22:58:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 53,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11565102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangeTheCircumstances/pseuds/ChangeTheCircumstances
Summary: He's dying in Jack's arms and all he can think is that he doesn't want to be forgotten. It's all he asks for when suddenly he's waking up in a world that's familiar in all the wrong ways.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that came up as I re-read/republished my Ianto!TARDIS fic. Not really sure where it's going but I hope you enjoy and thanks for any kudos and comments!

Ianto didn’t have time to imagine all the other outcomes. The what if he hadn’t come with Jack, the what if there’d been another way, the what if he wasn’t dying here. All he could do was hold on long enough to beg Jack not to forget him. He knew he was just a little blimp in Jack’s lifetime but he just wanted this.

_Don’t forget me._

His last feeling was Jack's arms around him and his last image was Jack’s face before his eyes slipped shut. That was all he could have asked for. Ianto had figured he’d end up dying for Torchwood. Despite the chipper attitude he’d given off, he’d known better than most that Torchwood was a death sentence. Would he have liked more time? Of course! But he’d rather die in Jack’s arms knowing that the world was saved.

At least he had that.

Ianto Jones died. He died in Jack Harkness’s arms and the world kept turning and Gwen and Jack kept living. And that’s how it should have gone. That should have been his end.

Instead Ianto found himself gasping awake, every cell of his body on fire like he’d just been shocked by lightning. Was this how Jack felt every time he came back? This sharp, excruciating pain that ran through his body and forced air into lungs that shouldn’t draw another breath? Ianto didn’t know. All he knew was he needed to throw up and that everything was far to bright.

“Good man! I knew you’d make it,” said a voice.

It was to loud, like he was having a sensory overload. He couldn’t focus on any one thing and when someone touched him it was like a flame. Yet Ianto didn’t cry out. He couldn’t. His throat was to sore but the groan that escaped grated on his ears anyways.

“Woah there. Maybe you shouldn’t move right away.”

Was that a different voice? The same? Ianto couldn’t tell. He was fairly sure he was dead yet all he wanted to do was to curl up and die again. If you had to go through this type of pain to live again it just wasn’t worth it.

Slowly, the light stopped being so blinding and the hands that were pulling him up weren’t so painful. It was like trying to get accustomed to a bed made of needles that slowly retracted overtime. Initially it was painful as hell but before he even needed to worry about getting used to the pain, it was already subsiding.

“There we go Ianto. You’re doing great. We’ll get you back to base and patch you up in no time.” This time Ianto knew the voice to be a woman. Her face wasn’t fully coming into view but she sounded familiar. Where was he?

“Here, I got him. You start getting that crap catalogued. We don’t need a repeat of this.”

A man’s voice. Equally familiar. There were two people there and Ianto felt his support change from the woman to the man.

“I’ll have Mark’s crew come in. They’re a bit better with explode-able tech,” the woman chuckled, fully leaving Ianto’s side.

He could feel the man laugh as he began to pull Ianto away. Logically, considering his last memories it had to be Jack and Gwen. But that didn’t sound right. And no way in hell would they both be so calm. Not after all that had happened. And who the hell was Mark?

“How’s your vision coming? Light bothering you anymore?”

“No.”

“You sound like you swallowed a frog,” chuckled the man. “No matter, I’d be more surprised if you were completely fine. We were afraid you’d been fried for a moment. Glad you weren’t though. Makes this whole thing a lot more wizard. Now I can enjoy taking apart that machine once it’s back at base.”

Ianto wanted to ask what this base was, who this man was, but simply walking was nearly taking all his energy. He could tell they exited a building but the outside sun didn’t hurt. His vision just continued to swim, keeping him from fully focusing on anything. He was pretty sure the man supporting him had brown hair though.

They got into a vehicle, the man still beside him though he seemed more focused on chatting with the driver. The way they were treating him was friendly but that didn’t exactly ease Ianto’s nerves. Perhaps it was all an act. If he was well enough, he would have prepared himself to jump out of the car. However, at this point Ianto was pretty sure jumping out would have just gotten him run over.

He simply rested, gaining back his energy piece by piece until he felt them stop and the man nudged him again. “Hey, come on. Think you can stand on your own two feet?”

Ianto hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes but upon forcing them open, he could finally distinguish the man next to him. What the hell was going on?

“Doctor?”

The man, the Doctor because it had to be him, gave him an odd look and then quickly laughed it off. “Always the funny man. Come on. We’ll get you to the infirmary and then the missus will probably want to see you.”

Ianto just blinked, confused and afraid. Maybe the Doctor couldn’t outwardly talk right now. Maybe he was doing this against his will. Maybe the Doctor’s mind was locked off and someone had brainwashed him. Maybe…maybe…maybe. It didn’t matter if Ianto couldn’t eliminate any of the ideas. Best to play it along for now. He didn’t have a weapon on him and was surrounded by people he didn’t know and didn’t have his strength back.

“You know me…always trying to get a laugh,” Ianto tried.

The Doctor (it was him right?) just laughed as he helped him out of the car. “I’d let you go yourself but I’m afraid you’d keel over. Better for me to follow alongside.”

Ianto just nodded and slowly moved one foot in front of the other. Looking around, they were in some type of underground car park. It was probably because of his time with Torchwood but Ianto immediately thought of some secret, government facility.

The Doctor started talking again, bubbly and upbeat as Ianto tried to take in his surroundings as best he could. The structure kind of reminded him of Torchwood One and god, he hadn’t thought of that place in years. He needed to find Jack. He needed to tell him he was alive. Maybe the Doctor could help. The TARDIS could travel through space and time. It could get him back to Jack (though so far this seemed like twenty-first century Earth). If only he could ask some questions but—

Had he said missus?

Ianto suddenly remembered what the Doctor had said to him, about seeing the missus. Who was she? Was this all part of the game? Maybe the missus was code for something or perhaps it was someone they knew. Maybe it was actually Gwen and Ianto could figure out what the hell was going on.

As they moved to an elevator, the memories of Torchwood One started to come back all the quicker. It was like Ianto had been here before. He was almost positive there was an alien tech retrieval bay down there…a morgue there…and wasn’t that Nina from Security?

Ianto shook his head so hard that he actually stumbled and hit the wall. Was he going insane? Had he gone back in time? The Doctor had been there when the Cybermen and Daleks had attacked after all. Maybe Ianto had fallen into a different timeline. But no, the Doctor seemed older and he wasn’t wearing his usual suit and trench coat.

“Hey, don’t pass out on me now,” the Doctor quickly said as he grabbed hold of him. “There we go. You alright?”

No, no he wasn’t. But all he could do was manage a nod.

“Hey Smith, Jones, you guys need help?” said a woman as she walked by.

“Naw, should be good. He just needs a good sit down and a nice cup of tea,” grinned the Doctor. “Just had a little trouble in the field.”

“Everyone ok?”

“Oh fantastic. Seemed luck was with us this time.”

“That’s good to hear. Hope you feel better Jones,” the woman said with a smile before continuing down the hall.

Ianto stared after her and tried to figure out if he knew her as well. However, nothing clicked and he instead focused on what the woman had called the Doctor. Smith. As in John Smith perhaps? That was listed as a common alias the Doctor used. Maybe he was masquerading as someone. But that still didn’t explain why Ianto was here or what had happened to Jack and everyone else.

He let himself be led onwards and at the infirmary there was another shock. He recognized the man but certainly not as some kind of medical man. It was Craig from the chip shop himself and Tosh had frequented. Ianto really did not want a man that had the skills to make barely recognizable food give him an extensive checkup but one look at the Doctor and Ianto decided he’d bare with it.

As long as nothing had to get poked in holes he wanted to be left alone.

Yes, whatever was going on there had to be a reason and the Doctor would help.

Ianto sat through the exam which honestly wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, Craig definitely being more professional than he’d expected. During it though, he caught sight of his face in some reflective metal and immediately noticed the scar, or more accurately the lack of one, on his cheek. There wasn’t even a hint of it ever existing. How long had it been if it had been completely healed? The Doctor had said he’d been shocked but by what?

“Well, you seem perfectly health,” Craig said. “Your equilibrium is a bit off but it seems to be righting itself. I’d say a day’s rest and you should be good.”

“Fantastic! I’d hate for our best pastry boy to up and leave us,” chuckled the Doctor. Ianto couldn’t help but frown at that, still very much not understanding what was going on, just as the Doctor added, “Ah, Mrs. Jones. As you can see, I brought your husband back in one piece as requested.”

Mrs. Jones? So he did have a wife but—

“Ianto, I’ve told you time and time again you aren’t cut out for fieldwork. Your first job and what do you do? You get electrocuted.”

That voice…Ianto spun around and had to catch himself from how dizzy it made him. But it just…it couldn’t be. So many ideas of what was happening, what was going on, but above all else this was the one impossibility. This was the thing that Ianto couldn’t accept.

And yet she stood there. No metal was wired onto her face, no tears of pain, no distorted voice calling out to delete his friends. None of that. She just stood there with an arched eyebrow and a wiry smile.

“What are you looking so shocked for Ianto,” laughed Lisa. “You only just saw me this morning.”

Ianto looked at her, looked to the Doctor that wasn’t answering to his name, to Craig the chip shop owner now dressed as a medical examiner. And then back to the dead woman who’d been the love of his life at one point, who he’d tried to save and had nearly gotten his friends killed for. The woman who’d been killed by his current love.

Then she walked up to him. Got closer. “Ianto, sweetheart, are you alright?”

She placed a hand on his cheek. It was obviously meant to be tender, to be close but for Ianto it did the opposite. He wanted to throw up. What hell had he been forced into? And then her fingers making contact with his skin? That made her real. She wasn’t a hologram. Lisa was alive and warm and right there in front of him…

Ianto Jones fainted, dropping suddenly and without warning, his mind unable to take anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos guys! I'm having a lot of fun writing this and hope you continue to enjoy it!

“Oh, gentle there, gentle now. Come on Ianto.”

It was the Doctor’s voice, pulling him to his feet and getting him to sit on the operating table. Ianto forced his eyes open and looked around. He really wished it could be like some clique. That he’d wake up and be somewhere else. But no, the same people were around him right now. He forced down the outburst that wanted to escape his throat. It didn’t matter how wrong this was, how he wanted to burst into tears for a number of reasons.

Before he could figure out what this was, he just had to think of it as a game. It was a game of survival and he’d have to barrel through everything else to make it out alive.

“Sorry,” he said, his voice still somewhat hoarse. “I think I just really need to go home.”

“Of course Ianto. You’ve been through a lot,” Lisa said. “I’ll even take off early.”

“Oh you don’t have to do that. I’ll probably just sleep the entire time,” Ianto replied, trying to keep himself from talking to quickly. What he really needed was a moment alone, to gather his thoughts and to try and figure all this out. He couldn’t do that with Lisa right behind him.

“Well you’re not fit to drive so I’ll just take my lunch break now. We can stop by your favorite pastry shop,” Lisa added.

Ianto just nodded, deciding to comply with this. After all, he didn’t know where his car was or if he even had one. He didn’t even know where he supposedly lived. As long as Lisa ended up leaving he’d be fine.

After Craig made sure he wouldn’t keel over again, Lisa ended up guiding him away and the Doctor said, “I’ll see you tomorrow Ianto. Hope you feel better.”

“Thank you,” Ianto murmured. He let his gaze linger on the Doctor. He looked for any hint, any suggestion that the Doctor knew the game he was playing as well, but nothing was there.

All he could do was continue walking and resisted the urge to flinch away from the arm Lisa wrapped around his. He just had to remember it was a game. It was all pretend and if he kept playing then he’d get his answers. He’d just have to bear with everything else for now.

“So what exactly did happen? I heard you got electrocuted?” she asked they walked away.

“It’s…classified,” Ianto tried.

Lisa seemed to find that amusing, why was it that everything he was saying was now amusing? “You know we’re the same security level clearance. But seriously. It was supposed to just be a routine call with Mr. Jameson and you were supposed to look over his laptop. What could have possibly been there?”

That was a very good question. “I…I’ll tell you later,” he replied. He’d gotten at least one small answer. They were the same level in this…place. Was it Torchwood? Would he find out? There were no signs or logos anywhere but then Torchwood One hadn’t had anything like that either.

“Of course, you’re exhausted,” sighed Lisa. “Don’t worry, I won’t push you for today. But it’ll still be good to get you something to eat.”

Ianto didn’t argue with that even though he was pretty sure his stomach couldn’t handle anything. They walked back to the car park and now that Ianto was a bit steadier and a bit more clear headed, he could see that despite the secretive look, there were some pretty normal cars here too. Like a normal office building though a few black SUVs were in one corner. They definitely made Ianto think of Torchwood. He looked around and wondered which was his. Or did they share a car? Better not to ask. Hopefully he could figure it out later.

“Alright?” questioned Lisa as Ianto eased into the seat.

“Yeah, just fine.”

“You haven’t buttoned up.”

“Right…” Ianto began to reach but froze upon seeing there was no seatbelt to pull. Then he noticed the button there and recalled Lisa’s odd wording. Slowly, he pressed it and had to resist the urge to flinch at the mesh that shot out from both sides to wrap around his body. Like everything else so far, it was familiar but different. He could already tell that it obviously did the same job as a seatbelt but it was wrong. It didn’t seem to fit in Ianto’s idea of the world despite how calmly Lisa did her own.

Either she chose not to comment or honestly hadn’t noticed his hesitation as she started the car (with a key thankfully, that seemed normal), and drove off. They went through the car park and through what at first looked like a regular exit into an alleyway. Upon looking back however, it looked instead like a loading dock. Some type of cloaking technology then.

He looked towards the front again and as they drove onto the street, Ianto couldn’t keep from flinching no matter how hard he tried. Lisa didn’t seem to notice, now fully focused on the road. However, Ianto could feel himself going into a cold sweat. His eyes flashed across the streets, the oh so familiar streets that were just so _wrong_.

It was London. It had to be. But it was the details, the little things that assured Ianto he wasn’t home, at least not the home he knew. Then there were the blimps in the sky. Blimps, what the hell was with that! Had no one heard of the Hindenburg?

“Ianto?”

He still wasn’t used to hearing that voice, not after so many years. And with this…culture shock? Was that the proper word? He didn’t really trust his own voice. He just looked over, hoping he didn’t look to wide eyed.

“You’re possibly even paler than normal,” chuckled Lisa with a warm smile. “You ok?”

“Just…really looking forward to lying down.”

“Well you don’t have to come in then. I’ll pick up your favorite and we’ll head home,” Lisa assured him.

Ianto just nodded, his eyes trailing back to the sky and the streets, quickly flicking from detail to detail. Eventually she pulled off to the side. Before getting out she kissed him on the cheek and Ianto had to keep himself from turning away. He watched her when she’d walked to the other side and went in. He didn’t have a massive sweet tooth and yet the Doctor had called him a pastry boy and now Lisa was hell bent on getting his favorite.

Ianto had a feeling that would be wrong too.

Looking around, he did think of running away, of getting out of the car and just going, never looking back. But the Doctor was back there and as painful as all this contact with Lisa was, it was most the most familiar thing in this messed up world. He needed to get back to Jack and something told him the Doctor was the key to that.

Hopefully next time he went back to the ‘base’ he’d get a chance alone with the man. He just needed a few answers, not many. He just needed to find Jack and Gwen again, to find his home again.

“You got lucky. This was their last one,” said Lisa as she handed over the bag.

Ianto looked inside and sniffed when Lisa wasn’t looking his way. He was pretty sure it was chocolate and orange flavored. He really hated orange.

Lisa got back onto the road and drove from commercial to the residential areas. They pulled up to a small two story house and as Ianto forced his body to move, he tried to think if he could have ever lived like this. Perhaps, in an earlier life, if the attack hadn’t happened, if Lisa hadn’t been killed. But the him now? It just was another thing to put on the pile of wrongness that was collecting around him.

Ianto followed Lisa into the home and again, his frown deepened. He had a flat but he’d still practically lived at Torchwood. This place looked far to lived in, to homey, to domestic.

“Do you need anything before I head out?”

“No I…should be good,” Ianto replied. “I’ll probably just go straight to bed after eating this.”

“Well don’t hesitate to call if you need me. I’ll see you tonight sweetheart,” Lisa said as she leaned in.

Ianto couldn’t close his eyes even though he knew he should. He watched her press her lips to his and had to force a smile after she pulled back. “I’ll see you tonight,” he agreed.

It was almost painful watching how slowly it took for Lisa to leave. When she finally did, Ianto collapsed against the door. He still felt like shit but now it was time to explore, to figure what the hell was going on and where he was.

He forced himself up and tried a bite out of the pastry, he probably should try to eat even if he didn’t want to. But no, it was orange like he’d expected and he quickly spit it out and threw the package away. Just that small action had him pausing as he looked over the trashcan and quickly went to other appliances. Again, there was an overall familiar sense of things he knew from home but how a machine might start or be opened was slightly different here and there and there was even a few machines that Ianto wasn’t sure of at all. It wasn’t like it was futuristic technology though, not really. Just a different way of doing things.

When the kitchen had been completely looked over, he went to the living room. It gave off the same feel but here Ianto was focusing more on the pictures. Memories he didn’t have, places he hadn’t gone…a wedding he’d never attended. Would he have ever married Lisa? Now that he was thinking on it…he honestly couldn’t say. He’d loved Lisa dearly but if he was being honest, they hadn’t even dated for a year. He’d analyzed that moment, his deception and her death. The need to save her had come out of guilt and desperation, not truly love.

Would they have continued on?

It was hard to imagine now. He looked at a picture of them at the beach, both in bathing suits and ice cream in hand. In the image it looked like a typical day but a typical day for Ianto was running down a Cardiff street with Jack at his side and Gwen on the other. He looked at another picture, what must have been a romantic evening but again, it wasn’t what Ianto would have envisioned. He would have thought of him and Jack curled up on the man’s cot, eating cold pizza, naked hide-n-seek (and dear god that wasn’t something he couldn’t think of doing with Lisa in any form).

He quickly moved to other rooms and eventually found a laptop. Before he had to worry about entering a password though, he noted something that oddly looked like a thumbprint scanner. His suspicions turned out to be right and the laptop was unlocked. Other than that interesting bit, the computer seemed to be pretty standard and Ianto quickly started to look up what he could in this new world.

The first conclusion he came to was that the amount of detail was insane. The idea of him being placed in a simulation or something similar to that no longer seemed as likely as Ianto poured over history and dates and names and places and records. Of course, it could be an extremely high-tech simulation but he just couldn’t be sure.

But of course the most chilling aspect was learning the year to be two thousand and ten. A year after the 456 incident then. And he was in London. But how could Earth change so drastically in a year? And how had he survived? Where was Jack and why was the Doctor acting so oddly? How could Lisa be alive?

Ultimately, though Ianto felt like he could play the game better, he was still left with more questions than answers. When he heard the downstairs door opening, he quickly slipped into the bedroom and threw off his shoes and tie. He’d certainly slept in less comfortable positions than this, suit or no suit, and just really wanted to avoid Lisa for the moment. Maybe if he was lucky he’d open his eyes and he’d be somewhere else, he’d be with Jack again. If not, at least he could rest and hopefully the next day would give him the answers he so desperately needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for everyone who has read this so far! I don't know exactly how many chapters this will have but as far as the general story goes I at least know where the story is going, hence the added characters even though they won't show up for a bit. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!

_Ianto and Jack were dying. Only this time it was switched. Ianto was the one holding Jack’s body and when they died, Ianto was the one to wake up. He was shaking the man, yelling at him to open his eyes but he wouldn’t. Jack wasn’t alive. He wasn’t coming back. And then Ianto felt the knife pierce him and looked down, expecting to see blood. Instead, he turned around and saw a doppelganger of himself holding the bloodless knife as red dripped from his lips instead. Ianto watched himself die and then suddenly Jack’s corpse was falling from him. He tried to grab at him, screamed for him to come back as he felt himself being torn apart, atom by atom and—_

“Ianto!”

His hand shot out for his gun. Where was it where was it—

“Ianto it’s alright. You’re safe. You’re safe sweat heart!”

Right…right that was Lisa’s voice. Ianto’s fingers curled around nothing (why didn’t he have a gun) and he slowly turned over. “What…what time is it?”

“Two in the morning-Ianto dear, what’s wrong? I’ve never heard you scream like that.”

Scream like that? Did she not remember how he’d sobbed over her dead body and screamed to the world it wasn’t-no. No! He was getting it all mixed up. He wasn’t there, not now. It was a game. “I’m sorry for waking you honey. It was probably just an after effect of what happened yesterday. Go to sleep.”

“Hmm, do you want to talk about it?”

“I just really want to go back to sleep.”

“Alright. Just know that I’m here.”

Ianto did know. That was the problem.

He felt her curl around him and found himself freezing up once more. He knew she was just being kind but what he needed wasn’t her. He was fearful of what could have happened to Jack, of what was happening back on Earth. And after that dream the ache in his heart was practically tangible.

He couldn’t bring himself to sleep. Not after that. So he lay their instead, felt the minutes ticking by bit by bit.

When Lisa did wake up, he pretended to sleep however, waiting for her to go to the restroom before he got up and went to the closet. There were far too many sweaters and casual shirts for his liking but at least the suits were a familiar feel, even if he liked redder hues better than the blue that decorated the closet. He was getting dressed when Lisa came back in, surprise clearly on her face.

“Ianto, you’re not seriously thinking of going to work today are you? After last night?”

“I’m fine,” he said. “Better to get back into a routine.”

“You know, Torchwood can do without you for one more day.”

So that place was Torchwood. He hadn’t been imagining the similarities. So what did it mean? He hadn’t gone back in time so this wasn’t like some weird ‘fix your mistakes to correct the future’ type thing. “I’ll be alright. Besides, I’m sure they want my report.” What he really wanted was the Doctor’s report, or that unknown woman that had been there at the start too. Maybe he could find out what had happened from reading those. Maybe there was a clue in them as to why he was here. “How about this, if I end up not feeling well I’ll come straight home, alright?”

That seemed to ease Lisa’s worry and this time when they kissed, Ianto managed to make it seem almost natural.

Still, he hesitated in almost everything that happened that morning. He loved routines but this wasn’t his life. If only he could have a hot cup of coffee yet they didn’t even seem to own a coffee pot. At least Lisa drove back to Torchwood. What with how distracted Ianto had been on the drive to the house, he doubted he could have found his way back at all.

Since she’d said they were the same security clearance, maybe they had a similar job to what they’d had in his world. It turned out to be a safe bet as once they arrived, he followed her through the building and she thankfully didn’t question it. He also discovered something else of note. Though there were plenty of people Ianto recognized, not everyone shared the name he remembered. It wasn’t just like one small mistake either. This seemed significant in an odd way.

He wondered where the Doctor worked, what level of security he had. Hopefully Ianto would run into him at one point or another.

Plenty of people wished him well and spoke with him in familiarity and kindness. He seemed to be well liked, to have friends. That wasn’t completely alien to Ianto but he’d always been more quiet, more withdrawn. At least until he’d come to Torchwood Three. Maybe it was just because they were smaller, because of the history they’d shared, but Ianto had always been more shy at Torchwood One. Even after dating Lisa he had enjoyed being alone more than actually going out and befriending his colleagues. The attention felt odd, particularly what with half of the familiar faces having different names.

Still, he managed to get through it without too many questions being asked. He and Lisa arrived in the same office room. The desks were how he remembered them though the computers were a different model. Thankfully only two desks were left open and as Lisa went to one, Ianto walked to the other. However, before he sat down a woman walked in and pointed him out.

“Jones, need you in meeting room six now.”

“Right away ma’am,” Ianto said, quickly jumping up. At least now he didn’t have to worry about doing something stupid like being unable to log into his own computer. Of course, whoever the woman was wouldn’t actually guide him to where meeting room six was and Ianto was all alone when he finally walked into the hall.

He tried to conjure up any memories of Torchwood One and hoped that would at least give him a general sense as to where to go. He got turned around a few times but thankfully managed to laugh it off whenever anyone approached him. After a few more wrong rooms he finally found it (of course there were no listed numbers).

Walking in, it seemed that it wouldn’t just be a one on one interview but an actual meeting. Hopefully he wouldn’t get to singled out. He finally noted a coffee pot that someone hadn’t started and at least perked up at that. Now that his stomach was feeling a bit better he really needed something normal like that. He went about starting a pot, hoping that no one would pay him any attention. However, upon finally pouring himself a cup, a man that he vaguely recognized from Torchwood One laughed and clapped him on the back.

“What the hell are you doing Ianto? You hate coffee and you sure as hell can’t make it,” laughed the man. “You must have really gotten electrocuted.”

No one else seemed to notice the conversation and soon the man had already walked away. For Ianto though, it somehow felt like the final nail in the coffin. He’d been prepping himself for this moment, for integrating with this new world and to try and get home. But from Lisa to the strangers to how the Doctor had treated him, one thing was very clear now. It didn’t matter that he shared the face of this Ianto that they all seemed to know and care about. He wasn’t him. He wasn’t and all he wanted to do was get home and maybe trying to sneak around and hide amongst them was the wrong move. Maybe it was the right one but now Ianto wasn’t sure he could do it. Not with how often everyone was getting it wrong, how often it was obvious they didn’t know him.

He took a quick sip, the coffee his only solace before he stepped out of the room again. Ianto needed to figure out what to do. He needed to plan if he’d just come clean or keep trying to fit in. Which could he handle? Which was the faster way to get back to Jack? Maybe talking to the Doctor would help but he didn’t know where he was in this moment and if he left to try and find him then that would definitely break any plan of trying to blend in. What to do what to do what to do—

“Ianto, how are you holding up?”

Jerking his head upwards he came face to face with…well it honestly took him a moment to recognize her. The voice came first before a name did.

“You were there,” murmured Ianto. When he had come to again. It had been the Doctor and…this must have been the woman. The voice matched perfectly.

“Are you alright?” she asked. “I was told you were a bit off yesterday. You do remember I went with you and John, right?”

“Rose…Tyler?” One of the Doctor’s recorded companions? He remembered she’d helped with the Dalek invasion back when the world had been stolen. They all had. Ianto had never met the Doctor extensively and even during that time he and Gwen had been stuck at the base. Nevertheless, even from his small part, it had felt like a family and Ianto knew from that experience and the records Torchwood had held that the Doctor’s companions had always been incredibly important to him.

He also recalled that Rose Tyler had been stuck in a parallel universe for a while though he didn’t know what had happened after that. Was this that parallel universe? Had she returned and now somehow Ianto was there too?

Trying to figure all this out in his head, it was obvious he was taking far to long to answer. In a way, he wanted her to respond first. Though she looked like Rose Tyler, maybe like some of the others he’d gotten her name wrong. Maybe he was in a parallel universe but not that one. But if that was the case then the Doctor wasn’t the Doctor. This wasn’t mind control or some simulation but a whole different universe where there was possibly no Doctor that could get him back to Jack and there was an even larger possibility that there was no TARDIS that could cross the Void. After all, it had been supposedly closed hadn’t it?

“Ianto?”

He jolted and focused back on her. She’d come closer, eyes exploring as they flitted across his face.

Carefully swallowing, he murmured, “You are Rose Tyler aren’t you?”

“Yes but…are you Ianto Jones?”

She knew. One look and she knew. Was this the Rose Tyler of his world? Did that mean they were in the parallel one that had brought the Cybermen?

“I…I…”

“Are you Ianto Jones?” Rose asked again. She didn’t sound accusing or afraid or angry. She was gentle and kind and in a way that Ianto didn’t want to run from, probably because he hadn’t known her before. It seemed like she had made his choice for him on whether to hide or come clean.

“No…no I’m not.”

“Is your name Ianto?” she asked, voice hushed so no one else could hear.

“It is.”

“Alright, that’s good…and you know my name. How?”

She was trying to figure out if he was from her universe. At least that’s what made the most sense. “You and the Doctor and Jack and the other companions saved the world. Flew Earth back to its original spot with the TARDIS,” said Ianto.

Understanding seemed to blossom in her eyes. “John mentioned you called him the Doctor. That explains it. I’m going to need you to come with me.”

“But what about the—”

“I’ll get you excused from the meeting. Stay here.”

Ianto nodded and watched Rose go into the meeting room. She left moments later and added, “I’m assuming you don’t fully know where you are or why there’s a man called John Smith that looks like the Doctor here, correct?”

“Or how this can be Torchwood. Or the blimps in the sky,” Ianto added.

“Well, it would have been odd if Jack had explained everything to you and obviously there are some things that not even he knows,” Rose replied as she gestured for Ianto to follow her. “We’ll explain as best we can and hopefully we can figure out what’s happened.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading this! Sadly I probably won't get another update out this week because my computer needs to go into the shop but hopefully it'll be fixed soon and I'll be back to writing. Thank you again and hope you enjoy!

Ianto followed Rose through Torchwood and into what he figured was the science and research wing. They walked into a lab that was empty except for the Doc-no John Smith. He spun around and quickly threw the goggles he was wearing onto his head. His chipper expression quickly became serious though upon seeing their faces. “Rose, are you alright?”

“I’m fine but it turns out your suspicions were right. He’s not from here,” she replied.

“Is he from ours?”

“It would seem so. He already told me he remembers the day the Earth was stolen and the Dalek invasion.”

The D-John Smith. Rose had said his name was John Smith so Ianto would have to get used to that. But wait, hadn’t he just said ‘ours’? How could he also be from Rose and his universe but not be the Doctor? Before he could ask, John was vigorously shaking his hand. “Well it’s good to properly meet you Ianto Jones. I hope you’ve been keeping Jack out of trouble for me.”

“But…but you’re not the Doctor,” murmured Ianto, “so why are you talking like you know who I am? Like you know Jack?”

“Well…it’s a bit…complicated,” he said with a pointed look towards Rose. “From your expression, I’m guessing Jack didn’t tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“Well I am-was-the Doctor. Sort of. We should probably sit down for this.”

“And then you’ll explain how you got here,” Rose said as she crossed her arms. “You being here after all isn’t good.”

“It…isn’t?”

Rose and John gave each other a look before leaning back in their respective chairs. Ianto didn’t get an answer to his question and instead listened to the story he hadn’t heard, both Rose’s own experience at the Battle of Canary Wharf and the Void along with the details Jack hadn’t told or hadn’t even known involving the day the Earth was stolen. They were also kind enough to enlighten him on some of the differences of this world along with why John Smith didn’t go by the Doctor anymore. Part of it was that he was different, in a different world, and it seemed right to have what most would consider a normal name here. But even more importantly, he wasn’t a TimeLord.

“You’re human?”

“I am.”

“So because of what happened with the regeneration, there were two Doctors together at once-well three counting that other companion, Donna. I bet Jack got a kick out of that,” snorted Ianto.

“Oh for sure,” grinned John and for a moment everyone was chipper, sharing in the private joke of Jack’s flirty ways.

However, things couldn’t stay like that. There were still answers that were needed. “But if the Void was permanently closed, how am I here?” asked Ianto.

“That’s the issue,” murmured Rose. “Maybe it was a fluke or maybe it could mean something far worse. For both universes or perhaps even more.”

“So what happened to you Ianto?” asked John. “Do you know how you got here?”

He shook his head. “Not a clue.” He explained as best he could about the 456 Incident and everything leading up to the moment of his death. “Only I didn’t die. I woke up here.”

Ianto looked between the two and noted how John’s eyes lit up. He had an idea but it didn’t look like it was a pleasant one from his expression. “Is there anything different about you? Scars or a birthmark that’s missing?”

“There was a cut on my cheek,” Ianto said, pointing to the area. “I would have thought it’d scar at least a bit but there’s nothing there.”

“What are you thinking?” asked Rose.

“We need a head scan. Now,” he replied. “Come on. We’ll go back to the med bay.”

Ianto wanted to ask what the man was thinking but decided it was better to ignore any false fear or hope. He just needed facts right now.

“Well while you do that, I’m going to check our readings from that day. See if there were any other abnormal energy spikes,” Rose said, giving John a quick kiss before walking off in a different direction. “Don’t worry Ianto,” she said over her shoulder, “we’ll find out what’s going on.”

Not it’ll be ok, not they’d get him back home. Just that they’d figure out what was going on. It was the best they could do for the moment and Ianto couldn’t be angry at them for that. They moved quickly and thankfully John’s clearance made it so that he could clear out a section of the med bay for them to use.

Ianto obeyed the man’s instructions and waited for the scan to be completed. It took about ten minutes of sitting utterly still as John went over notes and figures before murmuring one soft, sad word.

“No.”

“What? What have you found?”

“I thought that shock should have killed him. I thought for sure it was too powerful,” murmured John, eyes still focused on the readings. “But then I’d thought I was wrong. That I’d seen things wrong. But I hadn’t. He died. And you were brought to us.”

Ianto was silent for a moment, frozen to his chair before he finally asked, “Can I get up?”

John nodded and Ianto quickly came over to the readings just as John took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with a pained expression. Ianto wasn’t a medical expert and the equipment was different from what he was used to. However, he could tell one thing clearly from the image. Damage. On a horrendous scale.

“How…how am I still alive?” whispered Ianto.

“He isn’t.”

“What—”

“That’s Ianto’s body you’re in. Our Ianto,” whispered John. “It was only your conscious that came over. Not your body. And if my guess is right, you took over right after he went brain dead.”

What could Ianto say to that? He was sorry? For what? He hadn’t controlled it. He hadn’t been the one to force himself into this Ianto’s body. But still, looking over at John he could tell he must have gotten to know this Ianto for a fair time. He was already mourning, even if it was only a theory so far.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Ianto murmured, “Is there…is there any chance that he could have…that he…”

“I don’t know,” murmured John. “I need to go back and figure out exactly how strong that electrical blast was, see if Rose’s finding came up with anything.”

“What can I do to help?”

“I’m not sure yet. But depending on what Rose finds, we’re going to need to announce this to Torchwood.”

“Lisa…”

“Oh damn,” muttered John. “I completely forgot…”

Both stayed silent for a moment, neither completely sure how that conversation might possibly go. “Did you know her?” asked John softly. “Or is she just a stranger to you?”

“No,” Ianto replied. “I lost her at the Battle of Canary Wharf.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” said Ianto with a shaky breath. “So what’s the first step?”

“Properly seeing how strong that shock was and an extensive look at the effects on the body you’re in,” said John. “We weren’t originally planning to go that far because we thought you were fine but now…”

“I understand. I’ll do whatever you need to get answers.”

“Thank you Ianto.”

He just nodded and then they went to work. As John went about analyzing the effects and Ianto helped as best he could, they eventually met up with Rose again who’d made progress of her own.

“As you can see, on first inspection it looks like a natural energy spike,” Rose said, pointing towards her computer screen. “However, if you ignore the preliminary findings and go deeper, focusing on the quantum particles, it could be seen as a random wave or ripple through time and space that occurred at the same time the blast that electrocuted Ianto occurred. But if we compare this to any other anomalies recorded on that day, there are six other spikes that are identical to it and…” she trailed off for a moment, quickly typing away on the computer, “…if we pull up all these spikes and make it a three-dimensional model, you can see that they’re all equally spaced out over a tenth of a light year in a straight line in space and time.”

“Oh well done,” John grinned, leaning down and kissing Rose on the top of her head.

“You can record these readings up from a tenth of a light year away?” questioned Ianto.

“Torchwood has grown pretty large in this universe,” replied Rose. “I’m having tests done on each spike to see if there’s an origin that we can trace them all back to. It’ll take a while but it should give us answers.”

 “And in the mean time?” asked Ianto.

“I think we should make a statement to the employees of Torchwood,” Rose said. At Ianto’s frown, she quickly added, “We do things here differently than your Torchwood Ianto. We may still be outside the government but we’re a more open institution here despite our size. No matter the outcome, it’ll be better to have the entire operation working on this rather than a select few.”

John looked away for a moment, clearly agreeing with Rose though he murmured, “There is something you should know. Something I think I’ve found.”

“About Ianto?”

He nodded and quickly explained his theory.

“Shit,” murmured Rose. “That’s—”

“It should still be added, to the rest of the report if you do tell everyone,” murmured Ianto. “Even if it’s just a theory. He was a friend of the people here. They should know I’m not him at the very least.”

“Even Lisa?” asked Rose with a careful look.

Ianto nodded. Working with John and being open about who he really was had gotten him thinking further about Lisa. “I know what it’s like to lose the one you love. If I continue to hide it…it’s just crueler.”

“Then I’ll get everything set up,” Rose replied. “We’ll meet in the main hall on the first floor in ten minutes.”

John nodded in agreement though as she walked away, Ianto couldn’t help but express curiosity. “Wait, does she have that authority?”

“Our Earth wasn’t the only one that was damaged during the Battle of Canary Wharf. After all, those Cybermen originally came from here.” John’s smile turned proud for a bit as he added, “Rose really kicked things back into gear here. She’s not the head of Torchwood but she might as well be. She’s made this a better organization than it was, kind of like Jack I supposed.”

Ianto looked away, his throat closing up at that.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“A lot’s happened on our side of things. When I told you about the 456 Incident…we were what was left of Torchwood. And now it’s just Jack and Gwen.”

“I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

“You didn’t. Besides, most of them are of good times,” Ianto replied. Still, it brought them to the one topic that mattered to Ianto. “Do you think…could I ever get back to them?”

“The Void was closed for a reason,” John replied. It was neither a yes or no and Ianto supposed that was the best he could get. Besides, it was probably best if they started to head down now.

As they made their way to an elevator, an announcement was made across the building and soon everyone was following John and Ianto, going down elevators and stairs and all gathering together. Ianto followed John up to the front and near the podium that Rose was already standing at. Two other people stood there who he didn’t recognize, perhaps more official leaders of Torchwood.

The whole room was filled with soft chattering back and forth as people still flooded into the large area. It was difficult but eventually Ianto managed to spot Lisa in the crowd. He hoped his eyes conveyed the apology. He’d kept this from her for a whole day after all, invaded her home, slept in the bed she shared with her husband. He didn’t know how she’d take it, how anyone could take this.

All he could think was, _I’m so sorry Lisa. Believe me, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you._

It was clear she could at least read something on his face because her smile dropped. However, Ianto’s eyes turned away from her as Rose finally spoke out.

“What I’m about to tell everyone could be a matter that effects our entire universe,” said Rose, looking about the room. “Something’s passed through the Void. More specifically, someone.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Computer is back and finally fixed yay! Thanks for the comments and kudos and I hope you enjoy :)

“We have identified six identical spikes currently of unknown origin. However, it is our belief that whether they are the cause or the result, they are connected to the Void and the universe myself and John came from.

“The reason we know this even though all tests have not come back yet is because one of those spikes occurred directly where Ianto Jones was electrocuted yesterday during an investigation. The Ianto that is with us now is not the Ianto you all work alongside,” said Rose. “This is Ianto Jones of my Earth, a survivor of the Battle of Canary Wharf and a member of my Earth’s Torchwood Three based in Cardiff.”

Ianto’s eyes found Lisa. A lot of people’s eyes turned to Lisa. She was pale and her knuckles were tight against her skin, her hands clasped in front of her like she was praying it wasn’t true.

“From what we understand,” continued Rose, “there is nothing directly related to why Ianto is here now. Even if there was, we can’t study it from this side of the Void. However, we can study the energy spikes we’ve recorded and we can analyze our universe and its protection from the Void on this side. Any case that is under level two priority is to be put on hold immediately. We need to figure out what’s happened. If this has been a random action, we need to know with no doubt in our minds. Otherwise we could be at risk of more unwilling transfers and not just between this universe and mine but possibly many others.

“Our current information has been spread to the divisions that can use it best. Work is to begin immediately. Good luck.”

Obviously worry was running high amongst everyone but no one stayed behind to yell accusations or cause a fuss. From Ianto’s understanding, their world had been torn apart enough already, even more so than his own Earth. If there was anything they could do to stop that from happening again, they would.

Only Lisa truly ran from the meeting and obviously not back to her desk. Ianto took a step to follow her but Rose grabbed his arm tight and shook her head. “She needs time. She’ll come back when she wants answers.”

Ianto reluctantly nodded, deciding it was best to focus on what could be done at the moment. For him, that mostly meant more testing and more examinations. John led that, eventually finding one brain scan of their Ianto from when he’d received a head injury from an accident at work.

Now the Doctor had something to compare Ianto’s brain activity to the former one. Despite looking the same, there were distinct differences. The response time and the way Ianto’s own neurons fired off was remarkably different from their Ianto’s. If things weren’t so serious and the other him very likely dead, this would have been fascinating. As it stood, it simply proved that despite controlling the other Ianto’s damaged brain, there was no hint of his conscious lurking in there.

They did other tests to further prove this, writing down his likes and dislikes and personality quirks and comparing that to what others knew. Then came another series of brain scans when Lisa finally came back.

Everyone in the room seemed to freeze upon seeing her, no one quite knowing whether they should leave or not. John seemed to take the initiative there and nodded for everyone to momentarily leave as Ianto removed himself from the testing equipment and slowly stood up.

Only once everyone else was gone did she come closer.

Ianto expected a quick slap perhaps, maybe for her to yell an obscenity. That she’d be full of fire. But it seemed just as he wasn’t her Ianto, she wasn’t his Lisa. This Lisa had survived the battle with the Cybermen. Compared to how much worse it had been in this world, she’d likely lost even more. In fact, looking into her eyes, she was used to loss, and this wasn’t any different.

“Why aren’t you him?” That was her first action. Asking that question.

“I don’t know.”

Lisa’s eyes were teary. “But…you sound like him. You look like him.”

“You look like Lisa,” Ianto replied.

“You…know me?”

“Knew. I knew a version of you.”

“Oh god, that explains it. I’m so sorry,” she murmured.

“Sorry? Why-why are you apologizing to me?” asked Ianto in shock. “I lied to you. I pretended—”

“If you’re anything like the Ianto I know, then you didn’t do this out of spite or malice. Rose said you came from her world, that you saw the Battle as well.”

“I…I failed you-her. I couldn’t protect her—”

“We couldn’t protect a lot of people here,” Lisa responded. She gestured towards some chairs. This was all going so much calmer than Ianto could have expected. “Did your Lisa have a sister?”

As they sat down, Ianto shook his head and then hesitated. “She…actually yeah. But she was stillborn.”

“Cary wasn’t. She was…converted. Along with several dear friends of mine. Ianto’s mother was converted. So was Pete’s wife from this world.”

“Who’s Pete?”

“Oh, sorry, Rose’s dad. Technically step since they’re from different worlds but they might as well be related. He certainly loves her like that.”

“You seem familiar with them.”

“You could say we’re family friends. My husband and I used to babysit for Rose’s little sister. Her mother from her world married this world’s Pete. Her name’s Lily. I actually have pictures if you want to see,” Lisa said with a small smile. She pulled them up on a phone and Ianto leaned in, looking over not just pictures of Lily but pictures of the other Ianto and Lisa and Rose and John and Rose’s parents.

It was still off putting but at least he didn’t feel like he had to lie about memories he didn’t have.

“You look happy,” Ianto whispered.

“We are,” murmured Lisa. She looked to him again, smile soft and sad. “Or maybe we were is a better answer.”

Ianto gulped, looking away as his emotions filled his throat and threatened to choke him. “I don’t—”

“You don’t have to say it,” whispered Lisa. “I spoke with Rose. She says…she says it’s not likely.”

“I’m sorry—”

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for this,” whispered Lisa.

Ianto just nodded. He looked at the floor, hands trembling. “You said…you said Rose’s mother and this world’s Pete…and yet you haven’t…”

“I want to ask,” whispered Lisa. “Oh god would I…I love to hold him again and kiss him but…but we’re not them.” She wiped at her eyes. “You have someone you’re looking for, don’t you. You…you called out a name last night. Jack. At the time I didn’t understand but…but you sounded terrified for him, like you’d do anything to get back to him.”

Ianto nodded, not trusting his voice.

“I couldn’t ask you to give up on that love. Not when you still have hope. Not when he’s…he’s still alive…”

“I’m sorry Lisa,” Ianto broke out. He couldn’t control his voice, the pain, the tears that started to flow. “I know-know what it’s like to lose someone you love. I lost-lost Lisa and I couldn’t protect her and I-I’m sorry I can’t be your Ianto and that I pretended at all. I’m so so—”

He couldn’t stop trembling and when Lisa wrapped her arms around him, he could feel she was doing the same thing. He pulled her closer, could feel her tears falling against his shoulder as his own tears stained his cheeks.

Ianto wished there was more he could do, anything he could do for her. But all they did was hold each other. When they finally separated, Ianto couldn’t tell how long it had been but his back and arms felt stiff and his cheeks pulled where his tears were drying.

“Do they know if you’ll be alright?” whispered Lisa and this time as she placed a hand on his cheek, it didn’t hurt nearly as much.

“I should be asking you that…but then…I guess I know the answer.”

She nodded. “I love him. I have loved him for so many months and years and if he’s gone I-I will miss him every month that comes after. But this isn’t your universe and this isn’t even your body.”

“You should be the one being consoled now—”

“But I have my friends here to do that. You didn’t come here willingly. You didn’t even know where you were when you woke up,” she whispered. “You deserve compassion all the same.”

Ianto breathed in quickly and wiped at his face once more. “Thank you.”

She simply nodded and took one of his hands squeezing it tightly. “So…do they know if you’ll be alright?”

“At this stage? No,” murmured Ianto. After all this, he wasn’t going to lie to her. “All tests so far seem to confirm that it was only the conscious that passed over, or at least my conscious was the only successful part. But this…body and this brain and this heart shouldn’t be living. It shouldn’t be beating and it shouldn’t be working and…not even John knows if I’ll be alright or if…the damage will catch up with me as well.”

“But we have time to find out?”

“Yes. We just don’t know how much.”

“Then I’ll do all that I can,” promised Lisa. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For letting me talk to you…about this, for understanding.”

“Thank you for understanding,” whispered Ianto.

As they both stood, they hugged again having come to some sort of understanding.

“I’ll…talk to you later,” murmured Lisa as she wiped out her eyes again and then quickly excused herself from the room.

It seemed the moment she was gone, John had appeared again, almost like he’d been waiting by the door.

“Are you…alright?” he asked cautiously.

“Better. Yeah I’m better actually,” Ianto said. As he breathed in and out, the motion was far smoother than before and his throat wasn’t closing up so much. “Is there anywhere in Torchwood that I can sleep tonight?”

“What do you mean?”

“We may have talked but I’m not going to impose on Lisa like that. She’s mourning and she doesn’t need a walking reminder in her one safe place.”

“Yeah that…that makes a lot of since. But hey! You don’t have to hunker down in some cot. Rose and I will put you up in our guest room. It’s the least we can do.”

Ianto cocked his head. The phrase was a common enough one, something that Ianto had heard again and again. Yet he always wondered why people used it when it wasn’t true. There was always less that a person could do. The fact that they did anything at all was significant.

He didn’t say that however and just gave a quick nod. “Thank you.”

“No problem. How about we finish these tests and get something to eat? I’m sure you need the break.”

“That would be appreciated. Thanks.”

Then came the tests again and it seemed like the rest of the day was nothing but that. He didn’t see Lisa again for the rest of the day but that was fine. He needed an emotional break and was sure that Lisa felt the same. Once John seemed happy with the amount of tests they’d done and the working results, he gestured Ianto to follow behind him.

“So, what do you like? What kind of food are you used to?”

“If I’m being honest,” Ianto replied, and he honestly couldn’t help the small smile that twitched at his lips, “cold pizza.”

“Really?”

“That’s the life of Torchwood,” chuckled Ianto.

“Well let’s see if we can’t improve your palette a bit, huh? There’s a great sandwich shop down the street that I know for a fact your Earth doesn’t have,” grinned John. “Come on.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you again to those reading this! I will say it probably won't be until about chapter 9 or 10 that Heather and Bill will show up but don't worry, they are coming soon!
> 
> I'm really enjoying writing this so thank you for reading it and I hope you enjoy!

John excitedly walked Ianto down the street and to the shop, listing a number of things they had and quickly talking about other great things that he doubted Ianto had encountered in this world. If his excitement was anything like the original Doctor’s, Ianto could fully understand how easy it must be to step into that TARDIS and just go. To leave it all behind and to see the universe.

Despite all that was happening and how drained Ianto had felt after his talk with Lisa, he felt revitalized just being near John. Seeing as the man did have all the Doctor’s memories from the beginning up to the point he was made, Ianto wondered if the chipper-ness was his own defense against time. He may be human now but mentally he was hundreds of years old. Ianto knew from some of the files he’d read that the Doctor had seen a great many tragedies in those times. What was happening now was nothing new. The smile was simply his way of coping.

It reminded Ianto of Jack and he couldn’t help but smile in response to that, the reminder more welcomed than sad.

The outing was a good break from the crazy that was going on in his life but even with that, there were other things to discuss. That coping mechanism, that smile, it fell and John said, “During…the 456 Incident, you said you were alone. That I wasn’t there.”

“The Doctor can’t protect the Earth from every major catastrophe,” murmured Ianto. “Besides, you’re not accountable for his actions anymore.”

They were sitting outside the shop now, and Ianto had a good view of this parallel world. For the moment he concentrated on John though, his fallen face. Ianto could imagine this train of thought had been eating away at him for a while.

“I feel like I am though. The children-all the children of Earth were at risk and I did nothing!”

“Because you were stuck here,” stressed Ianto. “And if the Doctor didn’t come then it was because he was saving other people. Besides, isn’t that the whole reason Torchwood came to be? To protect the Earth when he can’t?”

“It doesn’t make it right.”

Ianto shrugged. “It doesn’t make it wrong.”

“But you died—”

“People die every day, especially if they’re involved with Torchwood. I knew what I was getting myself into,” murmured Ianto. Still, he could tell that wasn’t what was really bothering John. It was more so this realization that he couldn’t protect everyone. That he couldn’t live out his human life with everyone he cared about. This wasn’t about Ianto, not really. This was about his inability to save the other Ianto. “You didn’t fail him,” he whispered.

“Doesn’t change how I feel on the situation though,” replied John. “I just…it was stupid. I got to comfortable but I thought…I thought I’d gotten past the point of outliving my friends.”

“That’s not wrong though. You know when…Tosh and Owen died it was a shock. When I was dying…it was surprising. I’d grown so comfortable with that group, far more than I ever could have at Torchwood One,” said Ianto. “I’d found a family and their deaths…my death…part of it didn’t feel real. Part of me had imagined we’d go on forever. But that’s what being human is. Hoping beyond reason. Quite frankly, it sucks.”

John snorted and wiped at tears that Ianto couldn’t see. “And yet you’re one of the most innovative, remarkable races of the universe.”

“Not that awful to spend the rest of your life as one, is it?”

“No, not at all,” agreed John.

For a moment, Ianto could see all those years on that aging, human face. The weight of so much still rested on his shoulders, even if it didn’t have to. Yet he forced a smile and quickly started talking about the food and the wonders that Ianto hadn’t seen here.

After dinner, they headed back to Torchwood and John helped to convince Rose that it was time to call it a day. Ianto still didn’t get a chance to see Lisa again but that was probably for the best.

He followed them to their car and got to hear more of their life. A true family life. Who would have thought the Doctor would have domesticated himself so well? They talked about maybe meeting with Pete and Jackie, maybe even introducing Ianto to Lily who was seven now.

At the apartment, Ianto also got the chance to really look into their life together, the photos, the way everything fit. It was interesting to view, to really get to know Rose Tyler after only seeing her fleetingly and through files.

Eventually Rose came over with a large shopping bag. “Here, I figured you’d want your own clothes, even if they may not be your style,” she said. “I can always exchange them or take you out if that helps.”

Looking down, Ianto distinctly remembered that the suit he was wearing wasn’t his but the other Ianto’s. He imagined if he gave it back to Lisa, she’d insist that he keep it if he was more comfortable, but no, Ianto would hand it back all the same. Lisa needed to go through her own grieving process, to hold onto everything and then decide when she was ready to let it go. Besides, Ianto didn’t wish to remain the other’s one’s ghost.

“Thank you,” Ianto said “I think I’ll retire for the night.”

“Alright, just yell if you need anything,” Rose assured him with a quick hug. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ianto nodded and then took the bag with him into the guest room. There were two different outfits and sleepwear that Rose had managed to get her hands on. Of course, none of it was what Ianto would have worn but then getting some store bought suit would have been worse than this. Besides, both shirts were shades of red and Ianto liked the familiarity of the color that the blue tie and shirt of the suit couldn’t conjure up.

Still, even without the stress of not knowing where he was and being crushed by the guilt of lying to Lisa, Ianto didn’t sleep well that night. Perhaps it was the trauma of passing into this world, the fact that he was dying-should be dead. It was impossible to know for sure right now. Either way he dreamed of Jack, of being unable to find him, of being lost in the Void.

_Every atom being torn apart, of being wrong. Rejection. Death. Jack, where was Jack?_

_He searched and searched but couldn’t find him. What he did find was Owen’s head though, Tosh’s hand. He turned and saw Gwen pointing behind him, unmoving, just as the halfway converted Lisa killed her and then put her cybernetic hand on his own head—_

Ianto jolted awake. This time he didn’t have to worry about trying to hide how badly the dream had affected him. He let his body tremble and buried his face into the pillow, forcing his breathing to get under control once again. He counted to ten and then back to one several times until his heart moved in time with the numbers. He looked to the clock at his bedside and decided it was best if he got up now.

The shower was a bit annoying but Ianto managed to figure out what knobs did what after some careful testing. Taking a shower felt good. It made Ianto feel that he could do this, survive this world. He didn’t know if he’d ever get back to Jack and that thought hurt him to his core. However, he knew if their roles were switched, Jack wouldn’t stop fighting, both for himself and the people around him.

Maybe Ianto never would get back. In that case, he needed to start thinking of Rose and John and this Lisa and protecting them and helping them. No matter what his dreams contained, he needed to focus on the present.

Ianto dried himself off and finally pulled one of the outfits on that Rose had gotten him. The shirt was a bit tighter than he would have liked and the black jeans and jacket definitely weren’t his style, more Owen’s if anything, but it was nice knowing that these were now his clothes and didn’t belong to a likely dead man.

There was no gel to get his hair into place so it remained hand-dried and tousled instead. He also hadn’t shaved yesterday and if him and the other Ianto’s facial hair grew at the same rate, then that Ianto hadn’t shaved the day before. He didn’t really like the prickly feeling all over his chin but he decided to deal with it for now. He wasn’t going to bother Rose or John for something as unimportant as a razor.

He finally walked out of the guest room and headed towards the kitchen where he heard someone cooking. He was a bit surprised to see John hard at work, juggling making toast and eggs and beans.

“Hey Ia-oh um. Hey,” John said, doing a double take and momentarily freezing in his work.

“What? What is it?”

“Nothing just…well I suppose you could say you look like you,” John softly said.

Oh yeah, he did look nothing like he usually dressed, nor how this world’s Ianto had dressed either.

“People are just…really going to realize that you’re not him now.”

“Oh.”

“No, no don’t look so down. It’s…it’s something people need to realize. Besides, I’m sure you’ll appreciate people seeing you as…well you and not some ghost.”

Ianto slowly nodded in agreement. At least that was one plus to get out of this. “So, what’s all the food for?”

“Oh, I figured it might be nice. A proper breakfast and all that.”

“Do you usually cook like this?” chuckled Ianto, eyes taking in the mass and mess again.

“Well, usually only on Saturdays and the occasional afternoon due to Torchwood but I thought it would be a good way to start your first real morning in this world. One where you don’t have to pretend,” John clarified. “Do you like coffee?”

Ianto quickly nodded. “Black and strong.”

“Coming right up,” John replied.

A few times Ianto tried to help but upon John’s continual insistence, Ianto finally sat at the counter and watched the man work. Rose soon appeared too, her hair damp and loose. She laughed at the display and said, “Try not to hurt yourself.”

“When have I ever done that?” grinned John.

“Only every time you’ve cooked.”

Ianto could imagine that just watching him. The man wasn’t exactly clumsy but it did seem that once he got into it, he could get a little overexcited and his hands didn’t always keep up with his head or vice versa.

Still, it seemed this time he only sustained a few minor burns and cuts on his hands that didn’t even really need tending to.

The breakfast was nice. Definitely odd though. It had been ages since Ianto had sat down for something like this. It was enjoyable though, a nice break from whatever could be awaiting them in the future. After cleaning up, Ianto drove with them to Torchwood.

Not all the results had come back from the multiple tests Rose and others had run but one thing seemed conclusive. The energy had come from Ianto’s world and had broken into this one. They had ripped through space and time in one, singular go. A one way wormhole, a white hole. The point was that the flow of energy could have only allowed for things in Ianto’s world to move into this one, not the other way around.

And from their previous tests on Ianto’s mind, it seemed that any conscious of the former one hadn’t survived. Meaning it hadn’t been an equal transfer like had been hypothesized.

Ianto Jones had died and now Ianto was walking around in his corpse.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks so much for reading this! Bill and Heather should pop up around chapter 10 I think so look forward for that. I hope you enjoy <3

One way.

That also furthered the idea that Ianto would never get to go back either. It made the hair on his skin stand on end, his throat close up. But better to see this and take it as truth. Better to accept his fate and not hold onto hope that would only hurt him more in the end.

When he got hungry that afternoon, Ianto went on his own towards what he was pretty sure was the cafeteria. John had given him a vague sense of direction, along with offering to go with him. However, Ianto had declined, feeling that he’d hidden behind John and Rose long enough. Now that he was certain he’d be stuck here, he needed to actually interact with these people.

The cafeteria at Torchwood One hadn’t been this big but then, Ianto had gotten the impression that this Torchwood was more like a giant family rather than an office building. If Torchwood One had survived the attack, Ianto imagined that type of companionship might have formed out of its survivors as well.

People didn’t stare as much as Ianto had feared and most either purposely ignored him or respectively nodded in his direction. Two different people did ask if his name was really Ianto and if he’d come from Rose and John’s world but otherwise nothing else.

After grabbing something to eat, he did catch sight of Lisa. Besides actually putting himself out there, she’d been the other reason Ianto had come down, hoping to find her there since he’d been told she’d come to work today.

Before leaving that morning, he’d made sure to wash and iron the clothes from before. After walking over, he slowly put the bag in front of her. She wordlessly took it, held the tie close to her face before putting it back in.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Would you like to sit?”

“I don’t…”

“You’re not imposing. Besides, better to sit with company than alone,” Lisa murmured.

Her eyes had avoided his until he was properly face to face with her. They stared at each other for a moment, Lisa clearly taking in his new look. Her shoulders seemed to relax somewhat and a sad smile graced her face. “It’s easier to look at you today.”

Ianto moved a hand across his rough chin.

“Never did think red looked good on him but…I don’t know. I suppose that’s an odd thing to say, seeing as you share a face but….I don’t know I guess I’m saying it looks good on you,” she finally got out.

“You think?”

“Definitely.”

“Thanks then. For being able to see me.”

“I suppose I’m probably the best at it. Though with this new look, most around here are going to accept you’re someone else a lot easier.”

Ianto thought about telling her this wasn’t how he usually dressed. That he almost always wore a well tailored suit and carefully put his hair in the same fashion as the other Ianto and always stayed clean shaven like him too.

But he didn’t have the heart. Besides, what would have been the point? All it would have been was unnecessarily cruel. Instead he just smiled and the two ate in silence for a short time.

After that display, of him eating with Lisa, everyone else seemed to take it as a sign that he should be accepted. Sure, some people were more welcoming than others and it still seemed the majority of people just felt to awkward to interact with him so far, but it was nice now that their eyes weren’t trained on him constantly.

He got into a pattern, working beside Rose and John. He talked with Lisa on occasion, not seeing her every day but making sure to give her time if she asked for it. Ianto imagined it was becoming cathartic for her, at least in some sense, but never pushed for her to explain it.

Eventually she asked about Jack and Ianto slowly opened up to her as well. It felt weird, after the history with his Lisa, to talk of him. But it also felt good. The entire relationship had been unexpected and had felt like a whirlwind. But there had been softer moments too. Kinder moments that lightened his heart as he now reminisced about them.

That dance at Gwen’s wedding would forever stay in his mind for one.

During his time in this world, Ianto went out with some borrowed funds and bought other clothes, sticking with the style that Rose had originally gotten for him. He’d originally grown used to the suits so as to distance himself from Torchwood Three, to remain professional and to further hide what was happening with Lisa. But afterwards they had become a part of his own character, just as much as Jack’s own coat and suspenders were permanent fixtures for him.

Now that simple comfort would have been appreciated but this Ianto had dressed to much like he had. Like his interaction with Lisa had confirmed, people could look at him easier when they didn’t see their former colleague.

Ironically, wearing what would have normally been out of his comfort zone now became it as it at least helped to deter people from presuming things about him. It didn’t matter what his face was. He was a stranger to them and he’d wear what was needed to help convince them of that.

After several days, a little over a week passed and finally it seemed all conclusions had been taken and analyzed. Rose once again spoke to Torchwood as a whole and though the reactions were sad, everyone seemed to at least be able to breathe easily once more.

“These cracks have slowly been healing and from what information we’ve gathered, any hint of the Void will be closed within three months. It would appear this incident was random in nature and is not a sign of any future catastrophe. However…from the evidence given, it would appear that the Ianto Jones you all once worked with is now gone and there will be no way to get this Ianto back to his world. I ask you to remain welcoming and open to him for as long as he decides to remain. You are all dismissed.”

As Ianto watched them all go, it looked like who he’d learned to be an official leader of Torchwood was going to approach him but Rose quickly stopped her before she gave a respectful nod and left. Taking a step closer to Rose, Ianto murmured, “What was that about?”

“She was a bit ready to pounce on you but I convinced her that I’d talk to you before she gave her own winning reasons.”

“About what?”

“Working for us.”

Ianto blinked. For the past few years, Torchwood had become an innate part of him. Even with all this going on, he’d still felt like a part of Torchwood. It was odd being offered a job once more.

“What’s with the warning beforehand?” he asked.

“Just wanted you to know she’s going to want to pick you apart piece by piece. Unless if want to just take over the former Ianto’s position,” Rose said with a raised eyebrow.

A little desk, a computer? All to himself? At one point, he would have been perfectly happy with that. After all, no job in Torchwood was unimportant. However, after everything at Torchwood Three the whole idea just seemed to…boring. He chuckled softly, the thought reminding him of Jack and just all that damn running he got into.

“No, if I could do something in the field, I’d be appreciative.”

“Well in that case, she’ll probably ask you a lot about what you did in your Torchwood. If that gets accepted though, I’ll try to get you assigned under me. I can help you find a place too but for now don’t worry about overstaying your welcome. John and I are happy to have you.”

“Thank you. I really mean that,” Ianto said with a sigh.

“You’re welcome. Now go kill that interview.”

“I know that word technically works for this situation but it still makes it seem all the stranger by using it.”

Rose simply laughed and pushed him along. “Go on and get it over with. I’m sure John wants to make some great dinner tonight anyways and her talks can go on for two hours at least.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” replied Ianto as he finally turned away. He knew what she was doing. A distraction, something normal and fun to look forward to. After all, he now had to rebuild his life, piece by piece and beginning with this job.

It was an odd feeling. Starting again at this age. But Ianto preferred it to being forced into the former Ianto’s life.

He went to the interview, meeting, whatever some would have called it. Some of the things he had to relive were not pleasant but Ianto knew it was better to tell the truth than lie. Thankfully, despite some of the mishaps, the woman seemed more impressed than anything and he was told at the end of it that this new Torchwood looked forward to working with him. He had to agree that he liked having a job again, that he’d eventually get his own place once more.

As promised by Rose, John did create a very wonderful dinner and with only minor injuries as well. Ianto laughed and smiled and joked. He knew these people now, Rose and John. He had memories with them and could even call them friends after all the help they’d given him. Living this new life felt easier with them at his side.

And then they finished dinner.

Ianto helped to clean up.

The dishes were put away.

The night grew darker.

All retired to their rooms.

And Ianto realized he had nothing.

No physical item, no picture, not even a scent. There was nothing to hold onto nor to remember him by. Jack was completely gone from Ianto and he really would never see him again.

Lying there, he curled onto his side and felt the tears come all the harder as he pushed his face into the pillow. Despite days having passed, despite all the tests and conclusions that had come, somehow it was this moment that became the final nail in the coffin, Ianto’s own realization.

He could start anew, even live in a whole different universe. But Jack didn’t know and they would never get their proper goodbye. For Jack, he had died in his arms and Ianto had known him long enough that it would take far to long for Jack to get over this. He’d blame himself and Ianto would never be able to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he was alive and breathing.

Ianto just couldn’t say goodbye and that small fact was breaking his heart as this time he cried himself to sleep.

Though likely unconnected, it did seem that this realization meant he at least got some reprieve from his nightmares, relaxing into a dark, dreamless night instead of the usual turmoil.

That morning it took a shower before Ianto really felt ready to tackle this world again. He dressed and focused on his reflection, looking at the little details and the major ones. He wasn’t the man that had joined Torchwood One just as he was not the young man of his former college years. He wasn’t the quiet office man in love with Lisa and he wasn’t the delusional one trying to save her life. He wasn’t the Ianto of Torchwood Three that had pizza nearly every Friday with his friends and he had changed with the destruction of the Hub as well.

Looking at the short beard and this new style, Ianto could see this was just another change. Sure, the physical aspect was more extreme than before but it certainly wasn’t the most drastic one when looking back on his life. He was no longer a dying man but the Ianto of another world working for a new and improved Torchwood.

It was simply another evolution in his timeline.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the comments and kudos! I can now definitely say that Bill and Heather appear in chapter 10 so don't worry, they're coming soon! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy <3
> 
> Also as a little side note I like to imagine Ianto looking kind of like this (just add a really cool jacket to him haha: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/22/Gareth_David-Lloyd_by_Gage_Skidmore.jpg/220px-Gareth_David-Lloyd_by_Gage_Skidmore.jpg

Ianto got up each morning, trimmed his beard, threw on his clothes, and left for work with John and sometimes Rose.

Though he was under her, Rose was a popular person to drag to world meetings and other countries or other Torchwood Institutions seeing as she had saved the world multiple times and traveled between universes. She often complained about the political side as it was almost always dull and boring and people’s safety to often seemed a secondary concern. John simply assured her that it was better she was doing it than him and Ianto had to agree.

Though still often stuck at the Torchwood building, he was a field agent again and got the chance to go out with John on plenty of small missions here and there. He noted that this Torchwood was a bit harsher with guns, likely John’s doing, but Ianto eventually got his own issued to him. He was used to having a weapon by his side and though a comfort, Lisa did point out the bitterness to that too.

“So that’s what you reached for,” she softly murmured.

Ianto couldn’t help his frown and Lisa quickly added, “That first night. You were grasping for something but couldn’t seem to find it. You seem a lot more comfortable with that by your side. I’m guessing it’s what you were reaching for.”

“Well…yeah. It was. Back at Torchwood Three it would have been suicide to go out without a gun,” Ianto honestly said. “Granted, it didn’t start like that. For me anyways. A lot of things happened before I went into the field regularly but I honestly can’t think of going back to what I was before.”

“Just know that John isn’t big on them. He’ll try to diffuse any and all situations in a way that doesn’t involve them.”

Recalling the Doctor’s file, Ianto wasn’t surprised at all. “Well, I suppose it’s good he’ll have me as back up then, huh? Assuming his way of diffusing things doesn’t always work.”

After finishing their coffee, Ianto hugged her goodbye. They’d gotten used to this routine, meeting up for coffee in the morning or on lunch breaks. It felt good having this friendship with Lisa, being able to be there for her and sharing things with her he’d never been able to do with his.

And that was the one bright side to all this. He no longer was alone and he was gradually growing accustomed to this new world. He had friends once more, people he cared about, and with them at his side he knew he could keep surviving. That didn’t mean there weren’t hard nights, nights full of bad nightmares and tears and a tight grip on his gun. But at least he knew for certain that this was his life now. There was no endless hoping that he’d get back to Jack and his world.

The pain was still there but at least he wasn’t holding onto unreachable threads now.

Out of everything, the hardest was by far interacting with familiar faces. It often helped if they wore other styles or had other names but it could still be incredibly odd if he was forced to speak with them. For the most part he managed to not look like an idiot and simply reminded himself that this whole thing was as strange for them as for him.

Only once could Ianto not help himself.

Though growing used to this world, he still found himself staring out the window whenever driving through this London. It didn’t matter how often he saw these streets now. He was never going to be able to stop staring at those damn blimps.

He was with John on this particular time, just the two of them heading towards Torchwood when he saw her walking on the street. In this instance, there was no logic to be had. He didn’t even yell at John to stop the car and in hindsight, it was a very good thing they were moving so slowly and traffic had been so packed.

John had probably yelled a number of things but Ianto hadn’t heard a word. In seconds, he was stumbling out of the car, righting himself up, and running onto the sidewalk. Some stared, shocked by his sudden appearance, but he ignored them all as he spun round and round. Looking…looking…looking…there!

His feet hit the pavement as he pushed off, running in and out between people until he finally grabbed hold of her shoulder and spun her around.

Ianto’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he confirmed what he’d seen from the car.

“Oh my god Tosh, it is you!” He hugged her without thinking and very likely the only reason she didn’t hit him was because of how shocked she was. There was of course the possibility that her name wasn’t the same and there was an equal chance that what he was about to say wouldn’t matter either. But he had to try anyways. “Listen I know this is super confusing but if you know an Owen Harper-or just a man with big ears and a bad attitude-try to look past his cynical nature and try to get past your own shyness. Promise me that.”

“Who are you?”

“Just promise me,” begged Ianto.

“I-I promise?”

“Thank you,” murmured Ianto, pulling her into an unexpected hug and stepping back. “Sorry about how weird that was but really, thank you.”

He turned away just as the woman who looked exactly like Tosh did. Of course, Ianto couldn’t know what she would do after that encounter. He couldn’t know that she’d go home and tell her husband of his strange words. Nor would he know that said husband would press his wide mouth into a thin line and grumble, “I don’t have large ears.”

Ianto wouldn’t get to ever know any of that yet his heart felt lighter anyways as he walked away. After a few moments of looking around, he spotted where John had pulled the car over and parked.

Quickly heading over and getting in, John gave him an odd look and asked, “What was that all about?”

“I just…she was someone I knew.”

“But not really,” John slowly said, almost like he was concerned Ianto had forgotten this important fact.

“No, not really,” Ianto quickly agreed. “I just…I know a lot can be different when comparing the two worlds but if there’s a chance that Tosh can get her happy ending, and if there’s any chance I influenced that, then I’ll be happy.”

John hummed slightly, head cocked to the side before he said, “Well, despite the differences, it would appear that one of the most common similarities is who ends up with who. If this Tosh was really meant for the counterpart of who you knew, then perhaps that person and her version here did manage to make it work. Or will.”

“That’s a nice thought,” Ianto murmured with a smile. Suddenly, other thoughts started to enter his head as he thought of other possible outcomes. “Do you think…that Jack might have ever ended up in the twenty-first century here?”

“I did actually,” replied John. “I’ve looked through quite a few records, and of course he could have a different name, not that Jack Harkness was his original one to begin with anyways, but there aren’t any repeated reports of a man coming back to life nor any photos of remarkably similar men through history. My guess is that since Rose didn’t actually exist here but was a dog—”

Ianto couldn’t help the unexpected laugh that escaped his mouth. “Wait, Rose was a dog?”

“I thought it was quite amusing too,” John said with a wiry smile. “But anyways, that coupled with the fact that there is no evidence of the Doctor here, or perhaps this universe’s version simply never left Gallifrey, but either way I don’t think the Jack Harkness of this universe was brought back permanently because myself nor Rose were present to cause it.

“There may not even be a Time Agency,” he said, almost like an afterthought.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because before my path crossed with Jack, he was a former Time Agent and a con man, hopping from place to place and ripping people off with fake tech. Maybe he just had a very different life here or perhaps the Agency just doesn’t exist at all, hence why he’s never appeared on this Earth now or in its past.”

It was odd, hypothesizing about this other Jack, but whatever type of man he was, Ianto was glad to know that it was unlikely he was cursed as well. “Whatever life he lived-or will live I guess. His great-great-great grandfather hasn’t even been born yet. But anyways, I hope it was a good one.”

“As do I,” John agreed with a soft smile. “You’re not going to jump out of the car again, are you?”

“Nope, I’m pretty sure that was my last bit of finished business,” chuckled Ianto.

“Good, don’t need to lose you now because you’re too impatient for the brake pedal,” said John.

Ianto simply chuckled again and the rest of the drive to work was uneventful. Later, the whole thing would become an amusing antidote that John would use against Ianto.

But otherwise, Ianto was becoming accustomed to this world and its new people and this Torchwood’s way of doing things. At one point, he even got to meet Rose’s little sister Lily. She was adorable and he couldn’t help but joke that no wonder the other Ianto and Lisa were family friends. They probably couldn’t get enough of her sister.

Of course, the initial meeting was a bit more confusing though and Ianto eventually managed to pass it off like he was the other one’s long lost twin brother. Lily seemed to find that answer acceptable and from then on called him Ian’.

Ianto getting to meet Lily also meant he met Jackie and Pete. Talking to them was refreshing as he finally had someone else to relate to about his situation, someone else to talk to. Granted, with Jackie it was more her just going on and on and Ianto just listened but he didn’t mind that.

He never saw the Tylers’ if Lisa was over there though. That was one rule that Ianto had set for himself above all else. Though he had fallen for Lily’s charm right away and did enjoy listening to Jackie talk, they were very much Lisa’s friends, even more so than Rose and John. After all, her and Ianto had babysat Lily at times, had gone on even more dinners and movies with them. For Lisa, her relationship with Rose’s parents and little sister was very much tied to the other Ianto and it felt wrong mudding that up with his own presence.

The new relationship was something though, important, further proof that Ianto was becoming more acclimated to this world, this life. It would probably be some time before he really put himself out amongst just random strangers but that could wait until he finally got his own flat (what with how busy himself, John, and Rose could be at times there had never been a good time to look for one).

So Ianto remained living with Rose and John and he further proved himself to still be a good and effective member of Torchwood. Weeks were passing and nothing was really changing from there. His nightmares never fully disappeared, just didn’t occur so often, and he finally felt like he was moving in a body that he could call his own. As odd as the new style had been, it had even slowly morphed to fit this new Ianto and the usual jacket that Rose had originally bought for him was now as much a comfort as his suits had once been.

And then one day Ianto was typing at a computer and he couldn’t help the sudden feeling of pins and needles in his hands and feet. After shaking the feeling out a bit, Ianto just shook his head and completely forgot about the oddity.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual thanks again for the kudos and comments! I'm thinking of doing about 20 to 25 chapters for this but still not positive yet. Anyways, thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Weeks had passed since the odd pins and needles incident and Ianto had already forgotten about it. Now he was pushing a prisoner out of a building with John by his side when something similar happened though. Out of nowhere, his left leg gave out and he was hitting the ground hard. The prisoner would have very well ran off if not for John grabbing hold of him last minute.

“Ianto! You alright?”

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine,” he muttered, pushing himself up and shaking himself off. When he saw John’s worried look, he forced a smile. “I’m good.”

John raised an eyebrow, his face clearly uncertain but simply nodded and continued pushing the prisoner along as Ianto followed behind. The feeling had been odd, like he’d just suddenly lost all control of his leg. However, the rest of the day went smoothly and that feeling didn’t appear again.

Then about a week later he was helping John cook. When asked to pass over an egg, Ianto took hold of it and then suddenly his ability to grip disappeared. His fingers went limp and the egg hit the floor with a resounding crack.

“You know, the intention was to put it into the pan,” snorted John.

“Maybe I’ll just stick with taste testing for now,” joked Ianto as he grabbed another one. This time his fingers worked and he successful handed it to him.

“No way! I need all the help I can get on this,” John responded with a grin.

Ianto just smirked in response as he bent down and began to clean up his mess. However, this incident didn’t completely disappear and there was a small part of him that couldn’t help but connect it to when his leg had given out.

By now, about five months had passed since his appearance. Ianto had his own apartment and had fully settled into the world. The cracks and the Void had been firmly healed and closed for about two months and now no one was worried about any possible major catastrophe. All was right.

And then Ianto stumbled again. His hand stopped working. His vision went in and out for no reason. All these things were far enough apart and random enough that must people didn’t notice them but Ianto was beginning to. He started realizing that these incidents were slowly picking up pace, becoming more serious. He couldn’t be positive but he was fairly certain at one point he’d even somehow forgotten how to breathe.

He could no longer ignore this and finally spoke with John.

“Well…what do you think it is?” he asked.

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” responded Ianto. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re already coming up with a hundred different theories. What do you think?”

John opened his mouth and then quickly snapped it shut. He made a few noises, pouted his lips, and finally said, “Come with me to the lab.”

Ianto went and very much like his first days, he was now stuck in familiar chairs and under familiar equipment as John went to work. However, unlike last time, Ianto began to notice how John was doing tests over and over again. Whatever he was finding wasn’t changing and he desperately needed it too.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore and whispered, “Just tell me.”

John jolted like he’d forgotten Ianto was there at all. However, he was quickly shaking his head and saying, “No, I can—”

“Just tell me. Please,” Ianto sighed as he pushed himself up. He looked over at the readings but didn’t quite understand them and focused back on John again. “I need to know this.”

John gave him a pained look, a look that seemed to take in all of Ianto before he murmured, “It seems that the body is finally catching up with you.”

“So I’m dying,” Ianto simply stated. Maybe he was so calm because he was going into shock. Or maybe after already dying once, this just honestly didn’t faze him. “Why now? Why not the moment I came here?”

It seemed to take a moment before John gathered himself and murmured, “Going by what you told me and our previous findings, it was the energy from the Void that was keeping you alive, that kept the body going and kept your mind connected to it despite the damage it sustained. Now with it completely closed off again, that energy is beginning to gradually wear off.”

“And once it’s all gone, my mind won’t be able to remain connected. I’ll die again,” supplied Ianto.

“You might! You might die! If I can get the right tech then—”

“Don’t think of the what-ifs right now. Please,” murmured Ianto. “Just tell me how long you think I have.”

“I can’t give you a direct estimate. It could be anywhere between another month or six. It depends on how quickly this energy is used up.”

A month or six. Either way, it wasn’t a lot of time. Yet it was still more time than he should have ever had in the first place. “I’ll have to excuse myself from active duty then,” murmured Ianto, his mind quickly planning everything out. “I’d only be a hindrance if something happened in the field. In that case I can go back to working at the base, in the labs or offices, wherever they might need me. Then once there’s a better estimate as to how long I’ll last, I can get everything else in order and start saying goodbyes.” With that in mind, he leaned back with a satisfied smiled, happy that everything would at least be in order. However, focusing back on John, he noted the confusion and pain in the man’s eyes. “What?”

“Are you really already that set on this?” he whispered.

“The last time I died was unexpected. At least this way I can plan things out and say my peace beforehand.”

“But will you not even let me try?”

Ianto reached forward and gripped John’s hand tight. “Don’t think I don’t wish I could keep going. I like it here. But I’ve already had more than my allotted time,” he said with a sad smile. “If you think you can change this, keep me going, then by all means go for it. Don’t think I’m ready to just roll over and give up now. But just know that when it comes, should no progress be made, I don’t want to be kept alive. I don’t want to suffer in a bed tied up to tubes and wires and unable to lift a finger. You understand?”

“I do,” whispered John.

“Good. In that case, please don’t tell Lisa,” said Ianto. “You can tell Rose. I don’t mind. And if you or I have to tell the truth to someone to get me moved back to the base and out of the field, then so be it. But I want to tell Lisa.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you.”

And with that, Ianto’s new life slowly started to come to an end.

He wondered if he’d go home and cry, if he’d break down at work or when he finally told Lisa. But none of it happened. If anything, he felt calm, holding Lisa tight as she pressed her face into the crook of his shoulder and cried.

“But why now? Why can’t you—”

“There’s no point in asking that,” murmured Ianto, squeezing her tighter.

“But this was supposed to be like some second chance for you. This was supposed to be a new life,” Lisa replied, her voice shaking.

“I never needed a second chance,” said Ianto. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. “This has always been extra time. And I’ve lived it like a second life and I’m happy I got to meet you. But I was never meant to come here in the first place.”

“There must be some way to keep living though. Anything!”

“I’m not just quitting. John is looking into things and maybe he will find something.”

“But you wouldn’t tell me this if you believed anything was going to work.”

“No,” agreed Ianto.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, hugging him again.

“Don’t be. I’m just happy I was able to meet you,” murmured Ianto. He meant those words dearly. He was happy he got to meet her, Rose, John, all of them. He was thankful for these past few months, even if he was sure there weren’t many more left.

Ianto did get put back at base and for quite some time, things worked just fine. He missed the field but it felt good still doing something to help others, to help Earth, and it certainly kept his mind busy. He spent possibly even more time with Lisa though, taking advantage of the time they had left together along with Rose and John and he made sure to visit Lily again, even if it was only to say goodbye.

The symptoms did get worse, though gradual enough that Ianto was able to manage them as they came. John kept looking and if there was something new he wanted to test, Ianto was willing to go with it. But for the most part he simply focused on living and getting what few things he had in order.

He focused on work most of all and was only forced to take three sick days out of all that time. At the very least it seemed he’d get more time on this Earth rather than less. In fact, a little over a year and a month had already passed since he’d first ended up here and Ianto was still able to go to work (though admittedly walking now winded him horribly).

Days and weeks and even months passed but so far nothing had come from John. With Ianto’s end coming closer and closer it seemed that he hadn’t found any solution.

And then it seemed that his time had come.

All he did was stand up. He’d felt a bit off, figured he should head to the restroom just in case. All he did was get up.

His stomach clenched and he fell forward, just barely catching himself on his desk. He could see people moving forward, getting close, but he quickly opened his mouth to tell them he was alright. Instead, blood came out and Ianto was collapsing on the floor.

Ianto’s conscious went in and out for a bit. Everything seemed a blur as he tried to puke his insides out. The next moment he managed to concentrate on showed him in a bed, white walls. As his mind slowly started to focus, he was pretty sure he was in the Torchwood medical bay. His eyesight was coming back and as he quickly looked from face to face, he identified those he would have expected to see. Rose and John. Lisa.

He could feel an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. Could feel it forcing his lungs to work, could already feel the wires in him. It took every ounce of energy to force his hand up, to pull it down as he felt Lisa trying to stop him.

John lurched forward. “Ianto you shouldn’t—”

“We agreed,” he wheezed. This wasn’t just an unexpectedly bad symptom. He wasn’t going to jump back from this. He could feel it. He wasn’t going to get better. This was it. “You said…you said you wouldn’t force me to live.”

“But maybe we could—”

“No.”

Ianto’s eyes looked around the room, looked at those faces. He would love to stay with them, to keep on living. But this never had been his life and he should have died on his own world. And above all, he didn’t want to suffer.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get more time with you,” murmured Ianto. His eyes found John again. “You promised.”

Slowly, John nodded and then he moved forward. He turned off the machines they had already hooked up to him and he helped Ianto fully get the oxygen mask off among other things. He could feel Lisa’s hand in his and he gripped it as tightly as he could. He felt Rose and John on his other side and Ianto was ready to go. He was at peace.

And then a wall of water started to rise up by the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the comments and kudos guys! It really helps to keep me going and means a lot that you're enjoy this! Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I had a blast writing it!

Ianto saw it first but he wasn’t exactly in a state to do anything about it. Rose was the first to react and as she was the only one with a gun, she pulled it out as well and focused on the mass of water that had turned into…two…women?

One of them had a well-shaped afro despite the water that Ianto was fairly sure was dripping through it. Then again, he was dying so who knew what was really happening. However, that one actually laughed and said, “Listen, last person to try and shoot us ended up having the bullet ricochet. Hit himself in the knee the daft bastard.”

She laughed and the one next to her with the lighter hair smiled as if they were sharing in some private joke.

“There should be alarms going off,” whispered John. “Why aren’t any going off? How'd you get in?”

“We disabled those real quick,” said the lighter haired woman. “We didn’t want to make too big a scene. We shouldn’t be here long anyways.”

The afro woman quickly spoke up, a big smile on her face, gesturing towards Ianto. “We came for him.”

John slowly moved forward and pressed Rose’s gun to the ground. He was on edge but his eyes were also wide with amazement. Afro woman frowned when she looked at him. It almost looked like she was trying to place him, like she recognized him from somewhere.

“What are you?” John asked in amazement.

“The Pilot,” the light haired woman said. She gestured to herself and the other woman. “But separately we are Heather and Bill.”

“You said you came for him,” Lisa suddenly said, stepping forward. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” said the one that Ianto was pretty sure was Bill, “you lot do understand stuff about space travel and what not right? From what we’ve seen about this place in other universes, that’s usually its function.”

“Other universes?” asked Rose, her arms finally relaxing.

“Oh yeah, they totally exist,” said Bill. “Most places don’t actually know this but—”

“We do know,” John quickly said. “This universe had an extremely harsh encounter with another one.”

“We know which one,” said the other woman, Heather. “It’s where we came from originally.”

“But how are you here?” asked Lisa.

“Oh, it’s incredibly simple,” said Heather.

The comment made Bill snort. “You know, she’s always like this. Riding inter-dimensional slipstreams is not easy, let me tell you, but she certainly makes it seem that way.”

“I can drive anything,” Heather responded. Though she said it like a simple fact, they both seemed rather amused by it, another inside joke.

Rose shook her head though, immediately going back to the facts. “But we’ve been monitoring the Void. It’s closed. The cracks have healed. You shouldn’t be able to—”

“Oh, those things. Yeah, sorry about that,” said Bill. “We didn’t realize how fragile this universe was but don’t worry, we’ve fixed it. You don’t have to worry about this universe breaking into another one anytime soon.”

“You…fixed it?” asked John as his eyes widened.

Heather nodded. “You see, when such inter-dimensional streams occur, our arrival into other universes isn’t even noticed. It’s a natural path that we alone can take. Or at least we haven’t met anyone else who can do it. Because of our original universe’s collision with this one though, it made it fragile and the stream that we rode in on cracked your universe.”

“But what does that have to do with me?” It was the first time Ianto managed to get in any words at all. As he’d listened to all this, he’d also been gathering up as much energy as he could just to say that one sentence.

“When the universe cracked from us passing over, it brought with it bits and pieces from our own and bits and pieces from this one also fell back into ours. Some of those pieces were switched minds that we’ve managed to swap back,” said Heather.

“But you’re a special case,” Bill quickly put in.

Ianto simply raised his eyebrow as way of questioning her.

“You see, the version of you here died before this transfer happened. Because of that, there was nothing to take back to your-our-universe. So you died there but also simultaneously inhabited this one.” Bill winced slightly and quickly added, “Sorry it took so long to get you by the way. Fixing a whole universe takes tons of work.”

“So you could take him back?” asked Lisa.

“Doesn’t matter,” murmured Ianto. “I’m not going to last long anyways.”

“We can help with that as well,” responded Heather.

“What do you mean?” asked John.

“I saved Bill,” Heather responded. “And if she ever chooses to no longer travel with me, if she ever wishes to go back, then I will rearrange her as a human and leave her that way. I can heal you as well Ianto Jones, take you to your universe, and remake you human again.”

“How do we know this isn’t some kind of trick?” Rose suddenly asked, tensing up again.

“I suppose you don’t,” Heather evenly replied. “But I think I know a name that will ease your mind. Neither of us would be here, would be this way, if not for the Doctor. He saved us in different ways.”

Rose’s eyes lit up as did John’s. He asked, “Why would you think that name would matter to us?”

“The same way I know Ianto’s name though none of you have spoken it here. The same way I’ve managed to switch what did not belong in either universe and the way that I can see space and time. I know you both are from our universe as well. I can feel it.” Heather then looked at John in a way that very much said she knew, she knew what he was from but she didn’t say more, just gave a small smile.

“Doesn’t matter,” Ianto managed to get out, suddenly leading all to look at him. “It’s not my…right to do this. Not really my body anyways.”

“Don’t you dare think like that,” Lisa hissed. “You heard them. My Ianto is gone, gone for good. But you? You can keep living. You can find your Jack.”

Ianto hadn’t been expecting any of this. He’d been completely ready to die and now… “But—”

“But nothing. The more Iantos out there, the better,” said Lisa. “Find him. Find him for me.”

Ianto could feel Lisa’s hand in his again as he looked at her and those around him.

Rose seemed hesitant, looking over at Bill and Heather. “Why?” she softly asked.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Doctor then it’s you better be good at running and you save people,” replied Bill. “That’s what the Doctor is and if I can save someone, then I’ll gladly do it.” Her eyes softened as she focused on Ianto and she said, “We won’t force you, but we can help you if you like. No matter what kind of help you need.”

“Please Ianto,” murmured Lisa as she squeezed his hand. “Be happy, for me.”

Ianto slowly focused back on Heather and Bill, the two rather normal looking women that had appeared out of water. These past few months Ianto had been getting everything ready, his belongings and his mind. He had come to terms with the idea he would never go back, that he wouldn’t see Jack ever again. Now his entire mind was trying to do a complete one-eighty.

He wasn’t going to die here. He could see Jack again. He could survive.

When he looked to John, the man nodded, a fierce look in his eyes. Rose mirrored the expression and then Lisa…she had already spoken her peace enough.

“I’m…sorry,” he whispered to her.

But she chuckled in response and kissed him softly on the cheek. “As I’ve told you before, you don’t have to say that. I’m happy I got to meet you Ianto.”

“I’m happy…I got to meet you too.”

His eyes turned back to the two women. “You ready?” asked Bill. She still seemed excited about this but was apparently keeping it at bay, for the moment just sounding calm and kind.

Ianto nodded, as much as he could bring himself to move. As Lisa moved away, Bill stepped forward and she took Ianto’s hand in his.

He could breathe again.

Like slipping into a warm bath, Ianto could feel the welcoming water move over his skin, between his muscles and bones and into his heart. Feeling came back into his hands and feet and a weight was lifted from him. Bill pulled him up and he went willingly, nothing holding him back any longer. All his senses seemed to change, to become heightened. Holding Bill’s hand, somehow it felt different than any other type of skin contact he’d had before. The smell, he could distinguish between so many small things. Even his sight became brighter, more focused, and then he saw more and felt more than he’d ever been able to perceive.

Ianto could feel Bill and Heather and any uncertainty disappeared with that. Their motives were pure. They had meant every word.

He looked and he saw the beauty of it all, the web of the universe in ways that his human knowledge couldn’t put into words. And he again could feel Bill and Heather, that he was a part of them but also their own special connection. The first words out of his mouth were somewhat unintentional but even with the universe spread out in front of him, he honestly couldn’t help but focus on them.

“You’re beautiful.”

Heather gave a shy smile and Bill elbowed him with enough force that it should have hurt but in an odd way almost felt like he’d elbowed himself.

“And you are adorable,” Bill responded, putting her arm on his shoulder and leaning up against him. “This gorgeous view and he calls my crush on you beautiful.”

Ianto blushed, or maybe it was Heather that blushed. It was such an odd feeling, not quite being able to distinguish from the three of them but it wasn’t frightening. Just warm and welcoming.

He then recalled where they physically were (or at least he was pretty sure they were physically there) and focused back on Rose and John and Lisa. They all seemed to be holding their breath and Ianto wondered if they’d heard any of that conversation. Maybe it had all happened in his, their, head. Either way he focused on them and smiled. “I think I’ll be in good hands here.”

Everyone seemed to relax at that. “Good luck Ianto,” said Rose.

“Thank you. I’ll make sure to tell Jack you said hi,” joked Ianto and both Rose and John laughed at that. He then looked to Lisa and added, “Good luck.”

“You too. Don’t forget me, huh?”

“Never could,” he smiled.

In a way, he almost wanted to stay, but despite how he’d become accustomed to this world, it really wasn’t his. Maybe with more time he wouldn’t have been so willing to leave, just as Rose and John weren’t asking for a ride back either. But either way, he was really looking forward to this, to no longer be constantly thinking about an impending death. He felt free.

“Unlikely I know,” Ianto said, “but I hope we meet again.”

And with that, he could feel himself pulled from there and he was focusing back on Bill and Heather again. The first thing he felt was both them hugging him and honestly, it really was what he needed in this moment.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that pain,” said Heather and Ianto could tell that she simply knew, that she understood the emotional aspects even if she didn’t know specifics.

“I was able to make peace with someone I didn’t even know I needed,” Ianto responded with a small smile. “Despite it all, I’m glad I came here.”

Bill’s eyes lit up at that. “You want to explore it a bit then? We’ve been so busy trying to fix everything that we haven’t actually had a chance to look around.”

“What about getting back to our own universe?”

“The slip streams aren’t bound by the four dimensions we all once inhabited. They work in the fifth dimension so we will, for all intents and purposes, have to wait for the next one to come by,” said Heather. “Similar to how we used to be bound by space and time.”

“So why not have a bit of fun while we wait, huh?” chuckled Bill.

Ianto grinned. “Well when you put it like that…”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again! I had loads of fun with this chapter so hope you enjoy it too :)

He reached towards a planet of his choosing and Heather and Bill followed with him. They walked along silver streets in clouds, high above its core as people with six tentacles for legs and no obvious eyes mulled around them. No one noticed them. In fact, for these inhabitants, all they saw was a stream of water flowing along the ground. For Ianto it was like he was walking by them though, going across this planet, but he could feel so much more.

Heather and Bill walked hand in hand beside him, Bill excitedly pointing to things and grinning from ear to ear.

As they went, Ianto had a thought, recalling their words and interactions when they’d left Earth. “How come you knew John was the Doctor but you didn’t?”

Bill frowned but Ianto could tell that just by his words she was beginning to figure out who John was, maybe through Ianto’s memories, his feelings. It was hard to say what she had access to but either way she cried out, “Wait, you’re telling me he was the Doctor! But how!”

“He was just a hand originally. Jack used to carry it around constantly,” said Ianto. Maybe he vocalized what he’d been told, maybe he didn’t. Either way Bill’s eyes went wide and she said, “That’s insane!”

“I know,” chuckled Ianto, “but it still doesn’t explain why you didn’t know but you did.”

“Oh, she has more access to all this than us,” said Bill.

Ianto looked to Heather curiously.

“For me, I can’t separate from the Pilot. It is as much me as I am it. You two are more passengers than being completely the Pilot. That’s why I can see more, I can know more, and I can rework your molecular structure,” Heather murmured.

Ianto let out a low whistle at that. “You know, if we’d encountered you back at Torchwood Three, we probably would have been terrified.”

“I’m sure if I wanted to, I could be very terrifying,” murmured Heather with a sly smile.

“You don’t want us to take you too Torchwood Three though,” Bill said. She could feel how important that place was for Ianto but…

“No, its time is done.”

“Jack…Jack Harkness,” murmured Heather. “You wish to find him.”

“Can you?”

“If it were just me and Bill? No. Not right away anyways. It would take quite a bit of time,” Heather replied. “But you’re a part of us. Your want to find him becomes ours. It’s the same way that I will always be able to find Bill, should the need arise. You guide us and we should be able to find him in no time.”

“Did you talk this much with the other people you helped?”

“There wasn’t really any need.”

“You’re a special case,” Bill said again. “And let me tell you, Heather wouldn’t have let just anyone join us. Not like this.”

“I can tell you’re a good man,” Heather supplied. “And I can relate to your want to find Jack Harkness, that need. I’m happy you’re traveling with us.”

“So am I. You quite literally saved my life.”

“It’s the least we can do,” said Bill before her eyes went wide and her attention went elsewhere. “Oh my god what is that! Come on Heather, we’ve got to try it!”

Ianto laughed as he followed behind them, going up to what looked like a stall. He guessed that it was some type of food that was being sold but he honestly couldn’t be sure.

“What if it poisons us?” asked Ianto.

“Don’t worry. You’re safe as long as you’re with me,” Heather said.

And Ianto believed her. Why wouldn’t he?

They walked along the city that stood above everything. They even traveled beneath it, touched the ground that was toxic to its residents and found all manner of creatures that had birthed in this strange environment.

At one point a red, bird-like creature jumped Ianto, tackling him to the ground with its long arms and feathery tail. Whether it was attacking or not, Ianto wasn’t exactly afraid, just confused until it curled up next to him and he realized it was actually trying to cuddle with him.

Ianto laughed and petted the odd creature as he pulled it closer.

“Why doesn’t it turn? Why doesn’t it become a part of us when I touch it,” asked Ianto.

“There needs to be intent,” said Heather. “A reason. Maybe it’s because of who the Pilot chose as its host, maybe it’s because of the human Heather’s original wants and mindset. But I can control what joins and what doesn’t.”

“Huh,” murmured Ianto.

And from there they kept going and kept walking amongst the stars. Ianto found that he could go a certain distance from them, after all he wanted them to have their alone time and didn’t want to step on everything they had, but he did enjoy being with them. He felt he would have liked Heather and Bill even if they’d met differently, more normally perhaps.

Bill could talk a mile an hour and Heather was so soft spoken and sweet it was impossible not to like her. He knew this from how long he spent with them…only oddly enough he couldn’t be sure exactly how long they did exist.

Ianto could hold time in his hand now, and when one can do something like that, the thing one holds can lose its former meaning. Ianto knew he progressed in a series of events. He could tell that there was an order to the things that he and Heather and Bill saw. But whatever ordered these events wasn’t time. Not the time that even the Doctor had to abide by.

Holding time, Ianto couldn’t just change it at a snap of his fingers. Not without inhabiting the four dimensions rather than all five like he seemed to naturally want to do now. But he could play with it, move time back and forth and spin it around and see so much more than he once could.

There were other, smaller aspects that were different as well. He didn’t sleep and neither did he need food, though sometimes he did join Heather and Bill in trying alien delicacies. This change was definitely a help however, and at the very least Ianto got to avoid any unwanted nightmares without sleep deprivation.

In one moment, he lay on a field and could feel it changing beneath him. It went from beautiful and open to burnt to hell to a city square to a forest. It went from the rocky end of a planet to nothing beneath him, to before the planet had even been formed as he rested inside space and time like one rested on a bed.

Bill harshly poked him in the cheek.

“What’s with the cool, badass look anyways?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “Huh? You are way too sweet for that beard and cool jacket.”

“Excuse you. I can be quite badass if I like,” responded Ianto.

“Like what? James Bond? You’re not even British.”

Ianto laughed loud and hard at that, his mind bringing up his first meeting with Jack. “You know,” he said with a grin, “I once caught a pterodactyl.”

“Oh yeah?” asked Bill. “And how do you do that?”

“With chocolate.”

“Alright, any cool points you had are out the window again.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault it worked for Myfanwy. She likes what she likes.”

Heather looked over in interest. “You named the pterodactyl.”

“Yeah, I did,” chuckled Ianto. “Owen would sometimes joke that she was Torchwood’s mascot. Jack liked to say he hated her but I know he didn’t.”

“Tell us about him,” said Heather. “I can feel how much he means to you but…I want to know.”

Ianto smiled at that and kept going from the time he’d helped Jack with Myfanwy. He told a lot of the good. The fun. The nonsensical journeys. He also talked about Gwen and Owen and Tosh. He hadn’t gotten to know Rhys as well as he would have liked but he talked about him too.

But Ianto couldn’t be honest. Not without talking about the heartache as well.

“I know I won’t be able to stay with him forever. I doubt even you could fix him,” murmured Ianto. “But if I can see him again, spend even one more day with him…I would give anything for that.”

At that, Bill pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her in turn and leaned against her.

“We’ll find him. You don’t have to worry about that,” murmured Bill.

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank us,” Heather said. “I’m happy we can help you.”

“Me too.”

And so they continued on, moving around and seeing the universe. Ianto was pretty sure that even in all they saw, there were a million more places to explore. Even with this ability to walk through time like moving across a valley, Ianto knew there was still so much more out there.

But alas, it seemed that his time in this universe was coming to a close. He could feel it coming but knew it for sure when Heather moved by him and took his hand in hers.

“We’re going to be able to move into our universe pretty soon,” she said. “You ready for that?”

“Yes. Excited more than anything,” he replied. “Is there anything specific I need to know before it happens?”

“Just hold on,” said Bill, taking his other hand. “Believe me, Heather will do all the driving.”

Ianto chuckled at that and finally nodded. “Alright, I’ll believe you for now. But if I end up somehow falling off or something else equally ridiculous I’m blaming you two.”

“Agreed,” said Heather.

Heather guided him and Bill through the universe, up to its edges. These edges weren’t accessible as a human, as a three dimensional being. In their mind, the universe simply continued on. It wasn’t infinite, but they couldn’t find the edges just as one could look at a ball as long as one wanted and wouldn’t be able to find a single sharp corner there.

But Heather could guide them to those edges and now Ianto could see them as well.

“There it is,” whispered Heather.

They watched as the edges broke open. Ianto stepped aside as he watched this stream of time and space move through. He only dared to place a finger in it, the current fast and flowing. Heather took Bill’s hand and then she took Ianto’s.

“Ready?”

Ianto nodded and then he followed them into the stream. It was almost like he was walking, just walking forward. Yet at the same time he was sliding down the fastest, most uncontrollable slide of all time. It was breathtaking, falling through the in between of universes. It was a place where nothing was born or died. It was a place that nothing was supposed to live or be witnessed.

But Ianto was seeing it. He viewed this thing with eyes that were no longer human and saw what all was made of and just how small the universes were when compared to it. He could understand why it was called the Void, this space in between. If he had ever even glimpsed it before his time with Heather and Bill, he would have only been able to use such a word as that too. It would have been frightening.

Yet by seeing the universe as it was, seeing the web of time and space and now being able to see the Void how it was meant to be, Ianto didn’t fear it in the slightest. It wasn’t emptiness but the glue that was holding each universe together, the very beginning of life despite never creating any itself.

And then they were stepping out of the stream and into their own universe.

Despite being able to tell that he’d never been meant for Pete’s World, it was remarkable just how right it felt being in his own again. It wasn’t just mental and emotional but a physical feeling. He’d returned home.

He felt the particles that he had been born alongside, saw the fabric that he had lived his life in. It was almost overwhelming but Ianto managed to hold himself together, still holding onto Bill’s hand with a death grip.

“Welcome back,” said Bill.

Ianto smiled in return. He began to reach out, to search.

He was going to see Jack again.


	12. Chapter 12

Ianto did see Jack. Just not in the time he was expecting and not with the name he knew him by. What an odd thing to see the man he loved before that man had met him, before the unfortunate tragedies and beautiful moments.

Before he’d even grown up.

Ianto pulled the kid up from where he’d fallen and he knew, knew in that moment that it was Jack. But just not the Jack he was looking for.

“Thanks for that!” the kid piped up, jumping up like he hadn’t just skinned his knee to hell and back.

And then he was running off before Ianto could even get in a word. He almost wanted to stop him. To change his future. Even if it meant not meeting him, he would do that to save him all the suffering. But he thought of all his time with the Doctor, all the times he had saved the world.

He was to important to…to everything really. Who knew what kind of catastrophes could happen if Jack hadn’t been there to stop them, if Jack hadn’t kept on living.

He watched the kid run off before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning to look at Heather, she had a kind smile and squeezed gently. “It’ll be alright. You’re the one guiding us. Not me. It will just take time to get to the right spot.”

Ianto nodded, his frown finally disappearing as the three of them continued on. Yet, pinpointing the Jack that he knew was not as easy as Ianto had thought. He didn’t want to go straight to twenty-first century Earth. After all, he could very possibly screw up things he was never meant to interact with. Better to track down Jack and find the right moment for him to reintroduce himself.

Only the issue was that Ianto couldn’t get past the point where he had met Jack. Actually, he couldn’t get past the moment Rose and the Doctor had left him on that spaceship.

He was there when Jack was exterminated by the Dalek. He watched his bones shine bright, watched his body hit the ground with a thud. And then Rose brought him back to life. Only as Jack gasped for air and got up, Ianto was focused on where his body had lain. He leaned down as Jack ran off, confused and not knowing what had happened or where the Doctor had gone.

Though others couldn’t have seen it, Ianto now could. Jack was still there, dead on the ground. Ianto could pick him up. In fact, he did and cradled Jack’s head in his lap. He softly cooed, stroked his hair even though Jack didn’t know he was there.

This was the man’s end. This was the end he had always been meant to have. Never to join Torchwood, never to meet Ianto, or really anyone and anything he’d gotten into after this moment.

This was Jack Harkness’ death as far as the universe was concerned.

Ianto leaned forward and softly kissed Jack’s forehead before gently setting him back down. He looked at that singular moment where Jack would remain forever despite running off and flying spaceships and saving the Earth and flirting with god knows who. A paradox. A man that was dead in this station yet living and traveling throughout the universe. That was why.

“We can’t find Jack. Not this way. Not by feeling and hoping and my want to see him. His curse won’t allow it,” murmured Ianto as he stood back up.

He knew Bill and Heather had distanced themselves when Ianto had found him but they were back at his side again.

“There has to be some way we can find him without disrupting your own timeline,” murmured Heather.

“Wait, the Doctor knows Jack though. Maybe he can find him,” Bill suddenly said. “I know we can find the Doctor and then the Doctor will lead us to Jack! I just know it.”

Ianto looked over to Heather who was slowly nodding. “That is a fact. We can find the Doctor again.”

“Then I say it’s the best chance we have,” Ianto responded. “Particularly if we want to avoid influencing events we shouldn’t.”

He stepped with them in search of the Doctor…

And then they stopped.

Or more accurately, the universe did. Ianto turned to the nearest object, a star. He moved closer, looked at the flames spouting from its surface. Not a single flame changed though. The star’s planets did not rotate and the system did not move in its galaxy.

The universe was still.

“Heather, what’s going on?” asked Bill. She was looking around, just as bewildered as Ianto.

“I don’t know. This…nothing could have possibly—”

Ianto felt like he was choking. The motion was sudden and painful and almost like it had come from within rather than externally. Then it was gone and Ianto felt like he could move once more. One look at Heather and Bill and he knew they had felt the same thing.

“What was that?” Ianto softly asked.

“I don’t know,” said Heather. “It…”

She trailed off and it was clear she wasn’t sure. No one was but Ianto did have an idea.

“You said you hadn’t encountered anything like you,” Ianto quickly said. “You never told us someone like you was impossible though.”

Heather looked around. She was reaching; they were all reaching, searching for another creature, some other entity. They could still feel the universe, could still move through it, but it was no longer the thriving place it had once been. No longer could Ianto look over the beginning and ends of events, the movement that should have been beautiful. No, all it was were still pictures.

And with no movement came no noise. Only his and the women’s breathing, in and out and erratic. Scared.

Ianto felt the other two at his back, the three of them all searching and probing outwards.

He could feel Heather’s eyes flash open. She was moving forward and away, her pace purposeful and certain. “I can feel it near the end of time. It’s hiding, lying low.”

“Can you tell what it’s doing?” asked Bill.

“It’s feeling its way through this universe, from the end and back to the beginning,” said Heather. “Just reach. Reach as far as you can. Imagine the other universe. Remember the tingling? The fact that it wasn’t ours? That we didn’t belong? Apply that feeling to this thing. It’s out there. Right down there.”

With Heather’s guidance, Ianto could feel it, way off in the distance.

They were running down the slope of time, their legs moving as fast as possible. Ianto skid over eras he didn’t have names for, watched stars age and planets grow colder and warmer and back again. They went past the death of the last star but even then life didn’t completely end. It was to resilient.

Now they ran across black ice, going past the deaths of those final settlements. Ianto looked behind him and he saw all of the universe like one massive portrait. He turned back to the darkness and kept pushing forward, his skin growing cold and ice forming in his lungs.

Black sludge.

An unfamiliar species.

The smell of decay.

It literally hit Ianto, knocking him to the ground as he looked up at the creature that stood at the end of time.

“What are you?” asked Heather. She stepped forward, in front of him and Bill. “Why are you here?”

The creature cocked its head and black sludge dripped out of its ear. It didn’t understand them. That much was obvious. But perhaps it wasn’t necessary. Just the feeling from it was dangerous…awful even.

Ianto pushed himself up and dusted himself off just as the creature reached for a dead star. It touched it and moved it, placing it inside its hand and then dropped it into its mouth. Just like that. The creature had eaten a dead star.

There would be no reasoning. That much Ianto could understand. If this thing was similar to Heather, then it was clear that the host this Pilot had taken on was completely primal. It was hungry and it knew what it was doing, having slipped into this universe without their notice and freezing it before it could be stopped. Ianto wouldn’t be surprised if the thing had done this before, had eaten whole universes, destroyed them piece by piece, ripping apart the picture in front of it.

“We can’t let that thing get past now,” hissed Ianto. “We can’t let it destroy the life in earlier times.”

“Like hell we would,” Bill growled out. “Listen here you sludge thing! There are three of us and one of you! Screw off or else!”

“It can’t understand us,” Ianto murmured.

“Doesn’t mean my tone didn’t get across,” responded Bill.

Heather glanced back, either to agree or yell at both of them, but before she could the three were being thrown down. Ianto managed to prop himself up so that he saw the creature’s reaction. He watched its mouth open, detach from its jaw and drop low. The screech that came from its bowels had Ianto’s very bones vibrating and he couldn’t help but cry out in pain.

However, it didn’t matter how much that had hurt. The creature was charging them and they couldn’t have it go any further back in time.

Heather was still pulling herself up when both Ianto and Bill got on their feet and ran in front of her. The creature’s claws hit them and both were shocked by the pain that ripped through them. They didn’t bleed but instead clear water fell from the wounds, bright and luminescent again the end.

It slashed towards Bill but she managed to dodge it this time and Ianto shoved it back, the creature rolling backwards before landing on all fours instead.

Ianto grabbed hold of Heather and pulled her up just as it charged again. This time the three of them just barely had the strength to keep it at bay, their bodies pressed together and hands reaching out in front of them. As it fell back, the creature reached out and grabbed hold of the rocks and particles and dust only this time it didn’t eat them.

Instead, it threw it towards them, the bits and pieces piercing Ianto’s skin as he shielded his face.

“That’s how we can protect the universe! By using it against him,” cried Heather.

“What kind of logic is that?” asked Bill.

“We’re at the end of our universe’s time. There’s nothing after this meaning that what happens here won’t affect that,” Heather said, pointing behind them, at the mural of life. “Right here, right now, we have all the remnants of space at our disposal.”

Ianto’s eyes widened in understanding. But that still didn’t mean they necessarily had the power to move these objects like the creature was doing. Better to try than not do anything.

Reaching out, he grabbed hold of the nearest piece of material and chucked it at the creature’s head. Perhaps the reason he could touch things like this was because time stopped here, because there was nothing living that dictated future events. Now they were in control rather than three dimensional beings, participants rather than mere observers.

But best to hypothesis and think of how the hell this was happening once they made it out of this alive. He needed to focus back on keeping the universe that had happened still there.

As the object struck the creature’s head, it broke apart and sparks flew. It screamed at them, the sound cutting through every dimension, every sense. But they kept moving all the same. Bill followed Ianto’s move and went for the nearest dead rocks, hoisting them up as they moved around the creature of black tar at the end of time.

If Ianto ever did make it out of this, at least he’d have a hell of a story to tell Jack once it was over.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another weird chapter but I'm enjoying writing in this other dimension haha. Thanks again and hope you enjoy :)

The black ice that they danced upon changed from dark and cold to bright and explosive. The end of time tearing itself apart to protect the life behind them. Ianto could feel it when he got pushed to close to life, to the past, and it made him push back all the harder.

They had to work with projectiles at first, the creature’s natural defenses to harsh and dangerous to allow them to get close. But then Bill had an idea, an oh so clever idea as she took the edges left in space and shaped them into a sword of her own, the blade coming down on its claws.

It roared in pain, slashing out as Heather and Ianto continued from afar and Bill took it hand to hand.

Ianto couldn’t tell how much time had passed already, how long it took each strike to take now. However long, he didn’t need to sleep, to eat, and yet he was tiring. Not from his own motions but from its movements…its cuts and cries that seemed to want to crack them like glass, crack their universe.

And it wasn’t tiring. It seemed to take joy out of all this, out of breaking and crushing and fighting. The only thing Ianto feared more than it was the thought of it destroying the universe behind them.

And then its mouth opened again, but not like before, not getting ready for a roar. It went farther, breaking apart its ribcage and moving ever lower, the teeth large and intimidating. Its entire form was opening up and Bill was right in front of it.

Ianto acted as fast as he could. Breaking the formation they had been following, Ianto ran forward and pushed Bill to the side. As her fingers slipped from the blade, Ianto grabbed hold of it and shoved it up and through the creature’s chest. And as he did so, he felt its jaws wrap around him, tear into him.

He’d cry out if he could but he wasn’t even sure if he had a mouth anymore. Nothing was working and he was in so much pain. He felt the creature, saw where it had come from and its alien world. There it had been needed, wanted. It was a natural predator and worked with the ecosystem. But then it had met the Pilot of its world, its universe and it wasn’t a gift or a blessing.

This thing just wanted to live, to feed, and now it was destroying whole universes.

Ianto could see those places, could see how it traveled through frozen worlds and galaxies. It didn’t kill life. It made it so it hadn’t existed in the first place. It was going to keep doing it. It was all it knew. The hunger was all that drove it and—

Ianto opened his eyes to a field of green. A blue, perfect sky. The entire place was near soundless except for the wind that whistled through the grass.

There was a warmth next to him, a body but he wasn’t afraid. It was familiar and comforting.

He closed his eyes and simply drifted for a few moments with that familiar person. After a while, he felt a weight on his chest, felt the lips on his and he opened his mouth willingly. He was almost sad when he felt him back off and Ianto finally opened his eyes again to see Jack there, sitting back on his haunches.

“Hey,” Ianto murmured.

“Hey yourself. So…”

Ianto closed his eyes again, felt the sun on his face. “Don’t say it.”

“You need to know.”

“I do know. Just…give me a few more moments of bliss.”

When he felt Jack’s lips on his again, he knew the man had conceded. For a moment, Ianto simply kissed him, soft and gentle like it was nothing, like he wasn’t dying or possibly dead right now.

“You’re not dead,” Jack responded, suddenly leaning back again.

“Says you.”

“Hey, I should know. I’m part of your conscious anyways.”

Ianto let out a soft groan as he felt Jack roll off him and go back to lying at his side. “I told you not to say it.”

“You need to hear it.”

Ianto didn’t respond, not for a long while until… “You said I’m dying.”

“Yep,” said Jack.

“But I’m not dead yet.”

“Neither of us would be here if you were.”

“So what? Is this my seven seconds before death? Seeing my life flash before my eyes kind of thing?” asked Ianto.

Jack laughed. “When did we ever come to some place this beautiful?”

Ianto snorted and replied, “You got me there.”

They waited a little longer, basked in the sun and the closeness.

“Why are you here?” murmured Ianto.

“I’m here to keep you fighting.”

“Do you really think I need that?”

Jack snorted. “Of course you do, you self sacrificing prick. You were protecting Bill. You were trying to save her.”

“How do you know about Bill?”

Jack tapped the side of his head.

“Right.”

“Ianto you need—”

“I’m tired Jack,” Ianto interrupted. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and turning to the man. “I’ve been fighting for…I can’t remember when it even started now.”

“And it’s nearly done now. You stopped it,” said Jack. “You all did.”

“And it ate me,” snorted Ianto. “What a way to go.”

“You can keep fighting though. You can keep going.”

“How? How do I survive something like that, completely primal,” Ianto replied. “I felt it, saw where it had come from! There’s no reasoning behind it. Nothing logical. How do I survive that?”

“Oh I don’t know. Wouldn’t be that hard. I think you’ve got plenty of primal urges in you,” smirked Jack.

Ianto hit him hard on the chest while Jack simply laughed and wrapped Ianto up in his arms.

“I’m being serious here,” Jack chuckled.

“I know you are,” Ianto sighed. “That’s not making this any easier though.”

“Are you really that ready to give up? After all this fighting? All this crazy that you’ve been through?” asked Jack. “What about telling the real Jack this story? What about getting to see me again?”

“It’s so peaceful here though. Almost nice,” Ianto said.

“And that’s how you want to go? Just drift off in peace?”

Ianto smiled at that, at the idea. “It is what I want…and maybe giving it up now will mean I won’t get this peace when I die again.”

“Again? You’re starting to sound like me.”

“Perish the thought,” chuckled Ianto. “But no. Just because that’s what I want won’t mean I’m going to try now.”

“So you are going to keep fighting?”

“You’re part of my head,” said Ianto. “What do you think?”

Jack frowned and gave him a curious look. “Then why all this? Why conjure me up?”

“I needed a break,” murmured Ianto. “I needed to see why I’d kept going. Why every moment I thought I might die, I finally chose to keep living. There were other factors of course but at the heart it was you. My want to get back to you. I want to stop. I want to rest. But I can’t. Not now.”

“You will beat this thing. I don’t care how savage it is. You’ll win,” murmured Jack.

Ianto glanced away for a second. He could feel this world crumbling, slowly breaking down, letting the beast in. “How can you be so confident?”

“Because I’m just saying what you expect of me,” Jack murmured. “And you know that the real Jack would never stop believing in you if there was even the slightest chance.”

Ianto pulled his face closer and kissed him softly. He took a deep breath and rested against Jack for a moment more. “You’re right.”

And then the world broke.

Ianto was thrown back in its mind, its being. He saw the memories and the carnage and felt it all coming at him in one go. He knew it had pulled him away from Heather and Bill, snapped the connection in half. He couldn’t feel them, couldn’t feel anything but the creature and his own memories and emotions. His body was gone, the hands and feet, his face. All that was gone.

Now two options lay before Ianto. Either they both died or Ianto took over. If he took over, what would happen? Had this creature already poisoned the thing that had changed him, the Pilot that had allowed him to travel through universes, to eat galaxies like they were nothing? Ianto would fight it. He would triumph and win and…maybe he would change. He couldn’t be positive. He just had to hold onto his self, the one who loved and needed to find Jack. The one that had jumped in front of Bill and would risk everything to save a friend. He’d hold onto that and if…if the thing had changed him in ways that he couldn’t live with…then he would end it. Trap himself in the Void and end this senseless destruction.

Or perhaps he wouldn’t change for the worse. Perhaps he would become like Heather or something else entirely. All he knew was that he had to try. To keep fighting like he had promised.

For a while, there was the terrifying feeling of them both combining. Like its heart had been placed inside Ianto while taking his. Back and forth, never completely himself.

Jack, he just had to keep thinking of him. He thought of Rose and John, he thought of Gwen and Rhys, Tosh and Owen, Lisa and Lisa. He thought of his mother and father and other work colleagues and friends. He thought about all the tragedies that would be destroyed, all the death and destruction and hatred. The innate want to destroy. The creature could understand that. It liked how it felt.

But then Ianto thought of what he’d seen with Heather and Bill. He thought over beautiful fields and impossible planets. Seeing a star born. He thought of moments like having pizza at Torchwood Three. They were so small, so insignificant, moments like that scattered throughout all of history.

Kissing Jack for the first time.

Kissing him for the last.

Beauty, hope, love, one could never fully appreciate it without seeing its other sides. Both were necessary for something as vast as a universe. And in Ianto’s mind, he’d rather have the good and the bad than nothing at all.

He could feel his bones coming back. The cartilage forming up. Real and physical. Muscles and tissues all flowing and growing. Ianto was the one doing it, recreating his own body, his own self. And it, the thing that had come to eat his home, his universe, it was shrinking, cowering now. Its hunger was primal and strong but it couldn’t stop this, this feeling that was at the center of Ianto, that made up every bit of him.

And behind that feeling was so many others. So many other lives that were depending on him in this moment. All that love and affection and they would be destroyed now if he didn’t stop this thing.

It was that feeling coupled with his own that made him stronger than the hunger, made him better and faster. It was what had him winning and taking control.

The creature continued to diminish, to disappear and fall and with every piece of it that vanished, Ianto could feel more of himself coming back.

His skin. His clothes. What he had looked like before literally falling into its jaws took shape. Ianto had eyes again, his own lips and nose. It finally was gone, from every crevice, every space and inch of Ianto’s body, and with that he realized he could open his eyes.

He did in a flash and his vision showed him Bill and Heather standing above him, worry and shock clear on their faces. There was no way of knowing what they’d seen from the outside. Ianto opened his mouth to respond, to assure them he was alright.

But only black sludge vomited from within.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally the Thirteenth Doctor is being introduced! I'd like to say that personally I'd like to imagine the Doctor as not defining themselves by a gender (or at least humanity's standard of gender) but I also didn't want to erase the fact that we finally have our first woman Doctor so I will use she/her pronouns for her in this.
> 
> Anyways, we're finally getting close to Jack! Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoy :)

“Ianto! Ianto just breathe mate!” yelled Bill.

The sludge kept coming, painful at first and looking exactly like what had oozed out of it. And then slowly, oh so slowly, it changed to water and it wasn’t forcing its way out of his throat but simply dripping down and then off his body. He blinked and though he didn’t really change, his perception did and he saw himself like he had before: black jacket, red shirt, it was all there.

He could feel Heather and Bill pulling him up and onto his feet. They felt the same, and he could identify them and their Pilot, but the three of them were also disconnected now. Disconnected from him. This Pilot, it was simplistic in nature, in thought. Perhaps Heather’s was too. All it wanted to do was travel, nothing more and nothing less but to move and keep moving.

Ianto could identify that urge but it wasn’t really overpowering. That want to travel had simply attached itself to his own want to find Jack. Perhaps this was what it had done to that creature, attached to its need for food and its hunger and used that to travel.

“I’m sorry.”

Ianto was broken out of his own thought by Heather who had taken his hand and squeezed it gently. He looked on confused, no longer having any further connection with her. Any emotional or mental hints were gone and all he could do was stare.

“Why?” Ianto asked softly. He of course had an idea but couldn’t be sure. He felt almost like he had before. But there was something there, something he didn’t quite understand yet.

“You’re not a passenger anymore. You’re not…you took control, destroyed that creature, but in doing so you became the Pilot’s host of its universe.”

“Oh.”

“Really? Oh? That’s all you’ve got?” asked Bill.

“What else is there to say?” asked Ianto with a raised eyebrow. He moved his fingers, clenched and unclenched his hands. Part of him expected it to feel different but the motion didn’t. Not really. He was still him. “I’m still going to find Jack. This doesn’t change that. Just what’s going to happen afterwards really.”

Bill shook her head though and suddenly wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “God, all this and I haven’t even thanked you damn it. That thing just ate you and you sure as hell didn’t have to step in front of me like that. I mean hell! You couldn’t have known what was going to happen!”

“So? What kind of friend would I be if I hadn’t?”

Bill grinned and she hit him hard in the shoulder. “You are to damn sweet for your own good Ianto. You hear me?”

Ianto just laughed in response before realizing that Heather had stopped paying attention to them. “What is it?” he asked.

Heather didn’t respond, just moved forward. Ianto couldn’t understand why she looked so shocked, so amazed. “That’s just the past. Right?” asked Ianto. It was moving again, no longer frozen in time by that creature but it was still displayed for them, only more like a performance art piece than a frozen mural.

However, Heather shook her head and pointed behind her. “That’s the past.”

Ianto quickly turned around, his eyes widening. They still stood in the dark, in the cold, but looking in the direction Heather was facing showed Ianto a similar image. More life, more time.

“Did our battle seriously extend the universe?” asked Bill, eyes wide in amazement.

“Well…we did basically just throw all the celestial bodies into one giant mixing pot again,” murmured Ianto, part of him not believing it even though he could see it. “All that friction and heat…had to do something.”

Bill suddenly grabbed Heather’s hand and pulled her forward. “Can you imagine exploring this!? I can see solar systems that didn’t even exist before! What about other universes? Did this happen there? Will it happen? Oh my god Heather we have to go see!”

Heather laughed and smiled at Bill, her answer clear, but suddenly stopped. She turned to look back at Ianto. “You’re not following,” she stated.

“I can’t. Or…I don’t know I probably could and it wouldn’t really matter. Wouldn’t change things. But I…I need to find him.”

“Of course,” murmured Heather.

“That’s right! God I’m sorry,” Bill said. “I’m ready to just go running off through space and time and I’ve completely forgotten why we came back here in the first place. Listen, we’ll go get the Doctor and—”

“No, you don’t have to worry about that,” chuckled Ianto. “Go have your fun. Go running through this new future if you like.”

“But what about finding the Doctor?” asked Heather.

Ianto looked back to the past and smiled. “I can feel him out there. Speckled across the universe, similar to how John felt. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Wait, so this is really it?” asked Bill, her smile dropping. “I mean we can totally follow you—”

“No, have your fun,” Ianto chuckled. “Maybe we’ll see each other again. But I need to find him.”

Heather nodded in understanding and rather quickly the two women grabbed hold of him and hugged him fiercely. “It was good meeting you Ianto.”

“Good luck,” said Bill. “I know you’ll get to him.”

“Thank you. For everything,” murmured Ianto. “It was wonderful traveling with you.”

“You too,” said Bill. “Say hi to the Doctor for me.”

“Oh, of course,” chuckled Ianto.

The three of them hugged again, Ianto squeezing them tight. He’d miss them both, miss what they had given him and done for him, the chance that he had. If they hadn’t moved with that stream into Pete’s World, maybe Ianto would have never gotten stuck there and he really would have died in Jack’s arms. Or maybe he simply would have been stuck in the parallel one and died in that hospital bed surrounded by Rose, John, and Lisa.

Whatever would have happened, it was because they had chosen to help him at all that he was alive now. That he was this new thing. And sure, part of him was scared for what it could mean but mostly he was just excited. Excited that he was so close to finding Jack now and what could happen after that.

He watched Bill and Heather go off, towards the new end point of the universe before he turned back to what he had known.

The Doctor was remarkably similar to how John Smith had felt. Ianto could identify the points where the Doctor was still growing up to that point, the regeneration that Ianto had briefly met. He could also see the moment after as the Doctor grew from what Ianto could recognize. Ianto needed someone after that time, a regeneration other than the one Ianto knew. Perhaps he should go even farther as well, just in case.

After working for Torchwood for so long and reading up on the Doctor’s escapades, he was very aware of how easily he could mess things up if he arrived at the wrong moment. So he looked farther past that point, felt for a moment of solitude.

Ianto was shocked to find the Doctor never alone, to realize that his ship was as alive as he was. He wondered if Jack knew. If he did, he had probably flirted with it at one point or another.

As Ianto continued to search though, he could feel the tight bond between the Doctor and the TARDIS. Their companionship had been at the very beginning, the start of it all. Ianto hadn’t been able to be that for Jack, but maybe…he would be in the future.

He found a quiet moment, the TARDIS parked in a forest on Earth. Ianto walked through time and space before pulling himself down and into those dimensions, no longer simply looking at everything with wide, open eyes. He could still feel the rest of the universe, the turn of the Earth, how it spun round the sun and how that sun spun round the center of the Milky Way.

But he could also feel the Sun on his face, smell the leafy trees. Now time and space moved him and though he felt somewhat constrained, it was only slightly uncomfortable inhabiting this dimension.

That’s why he stood there, getting used to existing as a third-dimension being despite his ability to push farther if he wanted to. That and the simple fact that he was home.

It wasn’t the flat in Cardiff. In fact, he knew he was nowhere near there at this point. But it was Earth. The planet he had been born on traveling around his Sun. Ianto could feel tears pricking at his eyes, his throat closing up. In a way, so little time had passed and yet centuries as well despite the fact that he stood in the Earth’s twenty-first century.

Just that singular thought kept running through his mind and because no one else was there, he hugged himself. His fingers crumpled his jacket and his knees trembled. He’d been so focused on finding Jack, he honestly hadn’t thought about what this would feel like, back on his Earth.

Ianto swallowed and wiped the tears from his eyes. Now he was happy he’d convinced Heather and Bill to continue on. He’d needed that moment, just to himself.

With that done, Ianto walked through the forest and went up to the blue doors. Ianto couldn’t be positive, but he was fairly sure the outside was different from what the Torchwood records had shown. Not by much, but maybe a new coat of paint had been given, a redone logo.

Looking at its doors, Ianto could tell he could easily just go right in. Even excluding how he could transcend many natural boundaries, the TARDIS seemed to know that he could be trusted, that he was a friend. However, just barging in, particularly when Ianto had barely met the Doctor, would just be rude.

He did the most sensible thing instead and knocked on the doors.

Silence stretched in the forest for some time before Ianto heard the sound of running feet. With that, the doors were thrown open and a young looking woman with bleach blonde hair appeared. Ianto didn’t need anyone to tell him who the person was and after all he’d seen, this was honestly the least surprising thing that could have popped out of the TARDIS. Besides, he could feel it. This was the Doctor.

“Doctor,” Ianto said with a polite nod. “You may not remember me but—”

“No. No of course I remember you,” the Doctor interrupted, her brow furrowing. “Weren’t you a woman though?”

“What?”

“What?”

They just kind of stared at each other for a moment, neither quite following the other.

“Um, perhaps you think I’m…Heather?” Ianto asked. It was the only possible answer he could think of.

“Oh. So you’re not,” the Doctor said. Her eyes narrowed in a way that Ianto could recognize from John. Her mind was already running at a million miles an hour, trying to figure this out. “So if Heather didn’t shape shift, then this means another host which means more Pilots. I wonder how many Pilots there could be. But you seem to know me and I do not know you.”

“Well we do, kind of,” Ianto quickly interrupted. “It’s just been a while. I knew you when you were a man.”

“Really? Long scarf or celery?”

“Um…not that long ago I think,” Ianto said, not remembering seeing that in any Torchwood file. “More like a pinstriped suit and hair that defied gravity.”

“Oh that one! Oh yes, I remember that one. So then you would be…”

Finally the Doctor’s long string of words seemed to stop and Ianto realized that she must have heard at some point or another what had happened to him and the 456 Incident. He could see it in her eyes and the way her gaze changed.

“I know, I’ve got a lot of explaining to do,” Ianto said, “but what I really need is your help. Can you help me find Jack Harkness?”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close now :) I'm having such a blast writing this and just wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone reading it!!!

Ianto could tell the Doctor was reminiscing for a moment. “Jack…I haven’t seen him in ages.” However, her head quickly snapped back to him and eyes narrowed again. “But if you control the Pilot, why can’t you find him? Or is that not how it works? I never really got to ask Heather. But then she followed us with spectacular accuracy and speed.”

“I did find Jack,” Ianto quickly said. “But it wasn’t the Jack that I knew. I can feel him out there, his initial life time. But after Rose brought him back to life there’s…nothing. I could obviously just go to the last moment I saw him but that could mess up things I don’t have knowledge of right now. That’s why I need your help.”

The Doctor slowly nodded her head in understanding. “And your name is…Yancy?”

“Ianto. Ianto Jones. I helped when the Earth was stolen by the Daleks. That’s when we met, though briefly. Sort of.”

Finally the Doctor’s eyes lit up in complete recognition. “That’s it! But still doesn’t explain how you’re here,” she said as she gestured inside. “I think it’s time for that story.”

Ianto nodded in agreement and once they were settled in the TARDIS, Ianto began the journey. The Doctor interrupted often to ask questions and speak her doubts. Whenever she did, Ianto also took the time to simply look at her, watch her reactions. It seemed that from her point, she’d seen Bill rather recently and she seemed happy to hear how Bill was doing. Ianto wondered what point in Bill’s timeline he’d interacted and if she had yet to see the Doctor again or already had. With Rose though, even after all this time, there was a sort of sadness there. The Doctor missed her.

Eventually Ianto got through it all. Some of the things he’d said had taken more convincing than others but the Doctor finally seemed to believe, or at least accept the entire tale as she uttered, “Spectacular.” Nevertheless, there were still other questions to be had.

“So could you just get into the TARDIS? If you had wanted to?” asked the Doctor curiously.

Ianto nodded.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Seemed more polite to knock.”

The Doctor laughed at that, a grin spreading across her face that reminded Ianto of John. “Well, lucky for you, you caught me in between saving the Earth.” She jumped up to the TARDIS consol and murmured, “Let’s see if this old thing can get his scent back.”

Ianto could almost feel the TARDIS respond and the Doctor responded with a fond murmur, “Don’t worry, you’re still Sexy to me.”

Walking up to the consol, Ianto looked at the number of buttons and levers. There seemed to much for one person to handle and Ianto imagined what it might have looked like, full of people. He could feel there was a point where it had been, several in fact. He almost wanted to pull away from this dimension, to truly look at the TARDIS’ timeline and see. But he kept himself grounded with the Doctor and asked, “How can you find Jack exactly?”

“Basically I just have to see where the TARDIS doesn’t want to go anywhere near and then try to get there as close as possible.”

Ianto raised an eyebrow at that.

“Once she went to the end of time to try and shake him off,” said the Doctor.

“I wonder which end,” murmured Ianto, really just more curious as to how his and Bill and Heather’s extending of the universe worked. He wondered if it was known as anything. Like the Dark Age of Space or something else equally dramatic.

“Let’s see…” the Doctor danced around the consol as Ianto took a step back watching her work as he felt the TARDIS shift and move underneath him. It only took a few seconds before a noise occurred and the Doctor was pulling a viewing screen around. “Now where are we…hmm. That’s interesting.”

Ianto could tell they were far past the twenty-first century. He could tell they were on a thriving planet with two moons and a young star. But to get anymore, to be able to view it, he’d have to transcend and he was bent on staying here, experiencing everything first hand in the hopes of helping the Doctor to find Jack.

“So where are we?” he asked.

“Dacklin, about five years after the planetary civil war.”

A civil war? That certainly sounded liked the kind of trouble Jack would manage to get himself into. “Who are its inhabitants?”

“Oh it’s a pretty mixed population. The original race that lived here has almost all but disappeared, assimilated with human and Trion, another human like species. Both races originally tried to colonize the planet at the same time and that lead to a pretty rocky history.”

“But not the civil war you just mentioned.”

“Oh no. This one wasn’t about species but warring ideas if I remember correctly. At this time, they should be fairly peaceful though, one of the largest intergalactic trade centers in the galaxy since they’re in between several major space routes,” the Doctor responded.

“So I should be fine then?” questioned Ianto. After all, he saw himself as normal but he knew that to everyone else it looked like water was constantly dripping off him instead.

“Oh, you won’t be looked at twice,” the Doctor said. “Trion and human are still the largest percentage but by now they have a fair few immigrants and plenty of visitors from other worlds.”

Ianto sighed in relief at that as he followed the Doctor outside. They were parked on a city street and as Ianto looked around, he found himself surprised by just how much green there was. Well, metaphorically anyways. There was a lot of nature but it seemed that most of the plants had purple tints rather than actual green.

There were still sleek, shiny buildings which seemed to be made out of some light blue metal. However, instead of destroying a forest and building up a city, it seemed like the city had been integrated into the forest. It rested in a valley next to a large body of water. Ianto couldn’t see the other side and it could have been an enormous lake or a sea.

The Doctor took in a deep breath and grinned. “I forgot how beautiful this place was. And we’re in Portlena, this world’s most beautiful coastal towns.”

“That’s all well and good but where do you think we should look first?”

“Well, seeing as there aren’t any explosions going on, how about a museum? At the very least it should be amusing.”

Ianto shrugged, not having any better suggestions. He followed the Doctor through the streets and as she’d predicted, most people didn’t even look twice at him. Ianto found it curious that the Doctor didn’t have to even ask directions though once they were actually at the museum, Ianto had a better understanding of why. He looked at the centuries old mural clearly depicting the TARDIS near the museum’s entrance and looked at the Doctor with a raised eyebrow.

The Doctor just smirked in response and said, “I had blonde hair back then too,” before walking in.

They got into the main part of the museum without paying a fee like Ianto figured was expected of them since they went through a side door. The device the Doctor pulled out was unfamiliar but judging by his memories of the Doctor’s records, then that was likely an updated version of a sonic screwdriver.

With a click, they got in and slowly went about walking through the place. There were plenty of interesting details of the planet’s history that caught Ianto’s eye, especially when the Doctor corrected any mistakes, but the goal was to see if they could find any sign of Jack, any reason as to why the TARDIS had brought them here of all places.

The history presented to them seemed to be pretty ancient and there were no images or records shown that hinted at Jack having ever been here. Eventually an area under construction caught their eyes though. They slipped under a tarp and into a new exhibit that seemed only partially finished. However, it was also clearly an exhibit based on the civil war from five years ago and hopefully had more clues than the rest of the place.

No one was working on it at the moment but as Ianto was looking over a partially finished mural, a human looking man came in.

“I’m sorry but who are you!” he sputtered out, nose scrunching up in annoyance and shock.

The Doctor didn’t miss a beat, spinning around and throwing up a little, blank paper.

In a flash, the man’s demeanor completely changed. “All the way from the Inter-Galactic Federation of Historians?! They said you were coming but I didn’t expect it so soon!”

The Doctor made a face at the word ‘historians’ and Ianto supposed the idea of history to a time travel was either laughable or insulting. However, the Doctor seemed willing to roll with it for now and said, “Yes. Them. I’m with them. After what your planet has been through, I wished to see how well you were preserving this past decade’s events.”

“Oh of course, of course,” the man quickly said. “I’m the curator here. Mr. Coslor. It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Smith.” He paused though, looking over at Ianto and then staring at the puddle that near permanently stayed around his feet. “But um…may I ask who is with you?”

“My secretary. Ianto Jones.”

“Secretary?” muttered Ianto.

“He’s got a bit of a memory problem so just ignore any stupid questions he asks.”

Ianto glared at the Doctor as the man slowly said, “Oh…well then how about we go to the archives? I think you’ll be impressed with our collection.”

“Spectacular,” the Doctor responded, gesturing for the man to lead on.

As he did, Ianto leaned over and muttered, “Why not colleague at least?”

“If I have to suffer under the guise of a historian then you can suffer being my secretary,” smirked the Doctor.

Ianto just rolled his eyes in response as they went to the basement. Mr. Coslor excitedly told them of all that had been gathered for the exhibit and how they’d gone about verifying several important pieces. From what Ianto understood, the civil war had begun with the discovery of a rare metal. Its properties allowed it to interact with many things and on the one hand, half the population thought it best to hoard it and create a monopoly while the other half believed it should be dispersed throughout the universe to further scientific discoveries and help people as a whole.

The war hadn’t actually occurred because of that but an event later. An outbreak on another planet that could be helped if the rare metal was handed over to create a cure but half refused. From there, the population broke apart slowly, the war actually beginning with espionage and spies before public fighting appeared. Two forms of governing came out of it. Two ways of handling the economy and the population. Two extremes against each other, all starting from a metal.

It was all very interesting, and pretty telling about the nature of life and greed, but there was still nothing suggesting Jack.

Finally they were being shown some footage of a ship. It had been out on the sea near this very city and now the Doctor and Ianto watched as the vessel exploded in a show of fire.

“That,” said Mr. Coslor proudly, “was an enemy vessel and has been consider one of the deciding factors that led to us winning the war. We have a piece over here honoring the victims on the ship.”

Ianto followed the man closely and looked at the impressive memorial. It was simple, tasteful, and the names all evenly spaced out. By this point, Ianto was more focused on just learning this interesting piece of history, having already given up any hope of finding clues to Jack. However, as his eyes scanned the tens of names, he came to the letter ‘h’ and froze. His fingers trembled as they traced the name. Could this be his Jack? Had he really been there?

Ianto turned to the curator. “What do you have on this Jack Harkness?”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now it's almost here! What this entire story has been building up to! Thanks again for reading and hope you enjoy :)

“Not much I’m afraid,” said the curator. “Due to the lack of documentation and secondary sources, it would seem he arrived here sometime in the middle of the war. There’s a few tall tales of seeing him die out on the battle field and getting back up again but then legends can be rather nonsensical, can’t they?”

Ianto didn’t really have the will to respond. He was to busy thinking. Thinking about where Jack could be now. The very real possibility of where he could be stuck.

“Do you know where the ship went down?” asked the Doctor.

“Well yes! The wreckage was rediscovered a few weeks ago and we’ve been working to preserve what we can. Another salvage team is due this afternoon. Perhaps I could put you down on the list?” suggested Mr. Coslor.

“That would be most appreciated,” replied the Doctor.

Ianto knew she was hashing out the details but his mind wasn’t really processing the conversation. He was to focused on just looking at that name and trying to keep the urge to jump to that moment, to look for Jack then and there.

He suddenly jumped at the sound of the curator’s voice.

“Um, no offense but could you please stop touching that? It would cost quite a bit to replace if it was damaged.”

Slowly, Ianto retracted his fingers, clenched his fist. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he tore his eyes away from the engraved name and followed the Doctor out of the museum, only daring to speak once Mr. Coslor was gone.

“We have to go back,” Ianto spit out. “If that’s really him then we need to go there and—”

“We can’t.”

“You have a time machine! What do you mean you can’t?”

The Doctor’s lips quirked upwards but the smile wasn’t a happy one. It was bitter and sad. “You said you came to me because you wanted to avoid messing with events you weren’t meant to.”

She stopped suddenly and spun on him. She was shorter than the other version Ianto knew but despite the height difference he felt very much like she was staring down at him. “Perhaps you can’t feel it. Or maybe you can but you can’t identify it. Maybe I’ll have to just show you.”

And with that she was quickly walking again back towards the TARDIS.

“What do you mean?” Ianto tried. He kept asking but she wouldn’t answer, not now, not until they were back in the blue box.

“Come here,” she ordered, walking up and quickly pulling the viewing screen towards them. “Right there, do you see it? The sinking of that ship is a still point. It means that no matter what, it had to happen. The TARDIS already knew where to find Jack. I’m sure of that now but this is as close in space and time that she can get to that point.”

Ianto was silent for a moment. He was reaching, feeling, but still forcing his physical presence to remain in the TARDIS. Going back five years, feeling out onto the ocean where the ship had been, Ianto was shocked by the wall that was put up before him. He wondered if every still point was like that for him, if it was like that for Heather. Or maybe this one was different than all the others. Maybe this one knew that he shouldn’t go there, that he wasn’t meant to. Maybe there was something higher than being the Pilot, something akin to faith that had Ianto on the path he needed to follow and wouldn’t allow him to go to that point.

Either way, he finally opened his eyes and looked over at the Doctor. “Alright, I’ll follow your lead.”

“Glad to hear it,” said the Doctor with a small smile. “We will find him.”

Ianto simply nodded, watching the Doctor immediately bubble back up as she convinced him to go back out. Apparently some of the best chips in the universe could be found on this planet and she was quick to drag Ianto along. He knew what she was doing and the action was appreciated but that didn’t mean it was working.

Still, he followed her around the city, taking in the sites and culture before it was time to meet the crew on the docks. Introductions went around and at least this lot was less annoying than the curator. Once the ship set sail and they were heading out to open waters, about an hour’s journey, the Doctor asked, “So, has anyone here heard of Jack Harkness?”

Laughter went around and Ianto focused on the group. Their reaction had caught his attention and he noted how most of them had glanced towards an alien in their group.

“Well come on Meria,” said the first mate with a grin. “She asked if you’d heard of the famous Jack.”

They narrowed their eyes at that, seemingly not amused. “And why should I? I told you lot and you laughed at me.”

“Oh come on Mer,” said another, clearly using a nickname. “We said we were sorry! It’s not our fault you came up with such a nonsensical ending.”

“I told you it was the truth!”

“Well yeah I’ll believe the first bit. After all, you’re not the only person to have met Mr. Mystery but that ending? No way.”

The crew didn’t seem to be saying anything out of actual spite. It seemed they’d teased Meria quite a bit on this topic and it was all in good fun, even if they seemed a bit more annoyed by it. Nevertheless, when their eyes happened to cross over Ianto he quickly nodded. “I’d like to hear it. Even if they say it’s nonsense.”

“You’ll laugh at me.”

“I promise I won’t,” Ianto said with a kind smile.

“I’d like to hear it to,” the Doctor quickly added.

“Oh come on and tell it Meria,” said one. “It is a pretty great story.”

They just rolled their eyes at that but seemed to finally concede. “Well, I guess I should start with I’m a veteran.”

Ianto looked on, a bit surprised. One of the crewmates clearly caught the look because she laughed and said, “Don’t let the face fool you. Mer is getting ready to hit their fiftieth birthday.”

“Hush,” Meria muttered, almost seeming embarrassed. That reaction alone made Ianto assume it was true. He wondered how long their species lived for. “Anyways I was on the ship, the one we’ve been retrieving bits and pieces from. Jack Harkness was an officer there. I met him a few times, really friendly. Anyways, to make a long story short before the explosion he was shot in the heart, part of his chest cavity blown out, it was awful.

“I killed the guy who did it but…I don’t know. I just thought about the family or friends he might have. The people that would want a proper burial.” Meria wasn’t telling them the whole story but Ianto could tell they had met Jack more than just a few times, not like it was nothing as they were trying to pass off. They’d known Jack…truly known him. Perhaps they had even known about the healing even if they weren’t opening the story with that knowledge. “Anyways, I was just trying to get him out. We all knew the ship was going down, people were running to the escape pods. I figured he’d probably fit in one with me but then right before we got there he just woke up. Wound healed and everything!

“He pushed me into the escape pod before I could do anything, told me he’d be alright,” said Meria. “That was the last I saw of him and the ship blew up seconds later.”

“A pretty crazy story, huh?” chuckled one man.

Meria just rolled their eyes before glancing over like they were expecting to see Ianto laugh in turn. But of course he wasn’t. He just smiled and nodded. That sounded like Jack, trying to be the hero, rushing into a burning building or in this case staying on an exploding ship.

“I for one have seen many a spectacular things in my life time,” grinned the Doctor. “I think I just might believe you.”

The crew members immediately erupted into noise, some just laughing others with questions. They talked, trying to understand how the Doctor could believe the story while Meria clearly thought they were just being messed with, at least until the Doctor assured them she was absolutely serious.

But Ianto mostly stayed out of it, just watched from afar and listened. Only now did the length of time that he’d been away from Jack seem to fully start crushing him. Maybe it was because he was finally back, acting in the three dimensions and was therefore abiding by time once more. Maybe his life with Bill and Heather and fighting the creature was finally becoming a specific length of time in his personal past.

Or maybe he was just anxious to find something while simultaneously hoping there was nothing at the wreckage. It was an interesting idea, imagining that he’d always been meant to come here, that it was because of him that Jack’s story continued on. But the repercussions of that, the possibility of all the pain Jack would have been forced to go through (could still possibly be going through) was a responsibility Ianto didn’t want.

He hoped it would be a different reason he was meant to be there, like some strange clue and not a body stuck perpetually in a loop of dying and coming back to life.

Yet the moment they were near the wreckage, Ianto could tell that wasn’t the outcome he would get. It was odd, having searched and searched for Jack for so long and then believing he couldn’t find him because of his curse.

That hadn’t been completely right though. Ianto just hadn’t been looked for the right signature.

They drew nearer and he could feel himself being pulled, like a planet into a black hole. A still point inside a person, a living human being. It was like a hole in the universe and it was that absence that Ianto was after. Now that he knew what to feel for, what to look for, he couldn’t contain himself. He acted immediately the moment he could tell they were above the wreckage. He ignored the Doctor’s cries and jumped anyways, hitting the water with a splash and quickly going down.

Right away he could tell that had been a stupid idea. He was the host of the Pilot, a sentient liquid. Already he could feel the ocean wanting to pull him apart, to diffuse him. Suddenly it was taking all his strength just keeping his form together but Ianto fought the currents of the ocean all the same.

He went deeper and deeper and the feeling of Jack started to become near overpowering. As he went beneath the waves he realized that while he drew closer he didn’t need to focus on holding himself together. The pull towards Jack was stronger than any current, any planetary force. All he had to focus on was getting to him.

Ianto hit the sandy bottom in the alien ocean, surrounded by unfamiliar animals and plants. He pushed passed it all, passed the wildlife and the twisted metal and went into the structure past where the planet’s inhabitants had already scavenged. He was so close now. Just a bit farther. All the way to the bottom of the torn out hull covered in rust.

And that was where Ianto saw him. Lower body completely trapped, upper body currently floating lifelessly there. How long had he struggled? How long had it taken him to probably even get this far out from under the structure before he drowned again?

As Ianto drew closer, he could feel something changing, something different occurring as he drew nearer to the still point that was Jack Harkness. He couldn’t tell whether it was him or Jack that he was feeling in that moment. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was he had found him.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally we're here! Enjoy!

Gripping Jack around his chest, Ianto began pulling him out from under the wreckage. And then Jack woke up. Ianto couldn’t move fast enough and he could feel his heart aching and the tears coming as Jack struggled and drowned and probably didn’t even have time to comprehend who had him before he died in his arms. Ianto kept pulling, kept dragging him out from under there and then he was pushing them back up to the top, as fast as he could.

The moment they broke the surface he was calling out for help and pulling them towards the side of the ship. He pushed Jack up first before taking an offered hand and collapsing onto the deck. He scrambled to Jack’s side, pulled his face towards him.

A buzzing noise. “Ianto—”

He was there, right there. Ianto died once, met death two more times, one more willing than the other, and had turned away. He’d been to parallel universes and had walked time and space like they were valleys and mountains. He’d met creatures that the Doctor couldn’t even know of and had met people Ianto had never known of. All to get back to Jack.

“Ianto—”

He needed to see those eyes, to see him breathing and alive. Why had the universe done this? Why couldn’t Ianto-anyone!-get to him sooner? Why had he been stuck there, drowning over and over again for no reason? And had it always been drowning? Maybe it changed. Maybe the cold killed him or an animal had come by and he’d bled to death. Or perhaps the pressure had gotten to him and every ounce of the ocean had crushed him to nothing. Ianto didn’t know. He couldn’t even know if he’d ever get those answers nor did he want them. He just needed to see Jack open those eyes again, to know that he was coming back.

“Ianto!”

With a jolt, Ianto felt himself being pulled away and it finally clicked that it had been the Doctor shouting his name repeatedly. He looked up, shocked that at her size she’d been able to so easily throw him but also just as shocked at the fact she’d done it in the first place. Ianto started to move forward but the Doctor held up her hand and Ianto obeyed. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t hold Jack in this moment and he didn’t understand why the Doctor was stopping him, but he was willing to bet there was a reason behind it, even he couldn’t figure it out now.

Everyone else was standing around utterly shocked except for Meria. That proved Ianto’s theory, that they had known Jack better than they’d been letting on. But then everyone was focusing back on Jack, many of the crew jumping back in fear as the man vomited more water than was humanly possible onto the deck. His entire form was shaking though from cold or fatigue it was impossible to say. How many times had he died? How many moments had he been conscious enough to know that he was still trapped down there?

He couldn’t even push himself up, not even prop himself on an elbow so that he could see everyone. Meria and the Doctor were the only ones brave enough to help him, supporting him so that he could sit upright. And in that moment, their eyes finally met.

Ianto had never known Jack to do that but then, there was a first time for everything. Besides, the torture that he’d been going through had to be taken into account as well.

Jack fainted.

“You were telling the truth! You were!” cried one crew member, most of them still very much in shock.

Meria shot back a few words, basically saying ‘I told you so’ as the Doctor supported Jack, a fond and yet incredibly sad smile gracing her face. “Oh Jack.”

“We should get him to a bed,” Meria said.

The Doctor nodded in agreement and the two were quickly pulling Jack up. Ianto immediately got to his feet and took a step forward but the Doctor held out her hand again before the two began to move away.

He didn’t understand why the Doctor was keeping him at bay. This was the whole reason why Ianto had asked for her help and now she didn’t even want him getting near.

The crew members started asking questions as the two left. It made since seeing as the Doctor and him clearly knew Jack judging by their recent actions. Ianto pushed them away though to stand at the back of the ship alone. He didn’t want to deal with answering their own curiosity. He was to wrapped up in a mixture of emotions. On the one hand there was relief, a feeling of success. After everything he was there. He was right there. His Jack, back and alive.

And on the other hand he was trying to figure out what the Doctor could be thinking. Was there something going on that he didn’t understand? Some secret? Ianto tried to extend himself past this dimension and hoped he could see something, any type of clue by looking at the situation outside of its space and time.

Only he found he couldn’t.

Ianto gasped from the effort, his arms trembling as he leaned against the railing. He’d been so wrapped up in his own emotions that he hadn’t even realized he was cut off. What had once been so natural was gone from him and yet he didn’t feel human. The Pilot hadn’t left him, water still dripped from his hair and hands and it wasn’t the water of the ocean.

But something was different. Something was off.

He jumped at the buzzing sound from before and quickly turned to see the Doctor there and her sonic screwdriver out. It was pointed at his face but Ianto quickly shoved it down, shooting her a glare. “Why were you pushing me away? Why wouldn’t you let me near Jack?”

“Your biology is changing,” replied the Doctor, a frown deeply ingrained in her face. “But its going back again.”

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“Being near to Jack, something about you was changing but now that you’re away again, your biology is showing the same signatures as Heather.”

Any irritation gone, Ianto asked, “But what did it start to turn to?”

“Not human but…something else,” the Doctor murmured. “I think it would be best if you stayed away from him, at least until I can figure out if the effects are dangerous.”

Ianto shook his head though, not caring in the slightest. “Do you really think I’m going to do that? After all this?”

“I suppose not,” sighed the Doctor. “It would make sense that Jack would attract similarly stubborn people wouldn’t it? No, I can’t stop you but that doesn’t mean I think it’s a good idea.”

“Well, I’ve never been good at listening to my doctor. Why start now?”

The Doctor rolled her eyes at the bad joke and Ianto couldn’t help how his lips twitched into a smile. Nevertheless…

“When you left him, was he awake?”

“Yes.”

“Did he…ask…after me at all?”

“No. I’m fairly certain he thought he was hallucinating. It took some convincing that he was even out of the ocean,” admitted the Doctor.

“Did he know you?” asked Ianto curiously. “Or did you have to tell him?”

“Oh no, he knew. I’m fairly certain he knows some regenerations that I’m not even aware of,” the Doctor said with a small chuckle. “Once he told me he even met the one who had a thing for question marks. Not that I remember but then Jack did say that made since considering the problem’s with the Time Vortex at the time.”

Ianto chuckled at that before they both turned to silence again. Ianto was thinking on what the Doctor had said, of the potential risk, but really just standing here was making him anxious. He kept shifting from one foot to another just as the Doctor finally murmured, “You know…I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

Ianto shrugged.

“Fine. Fine! But if you start to feel unwell or…or really just anything happens I want you out of there. Understood Ianto? The last thing Jack would want would be you getting hurt because of him.”

“Don’t I know it,” he murmured.

He watched the Doctor walk away before finally following behind her, this time more hyperaware to what he was feeling outside of his emotions.

Just walking through the ship and getting closer and closer to the room, Ianto could tell that he was being constrained, his inhumanly senses not so much dulled but blocked. It was like being near to Jack wasn’t just grounding him in this dimension but really was pulling him forward like some black hole. He’d thought that it had been the desperation of it all, of getting to Jack, but it was more than that. There was a physical aspect there, one that had the water that naturally fell from his body slowing and freezing. It didn’t hurt but it was noticeable, odd.

Ianto paused to look at his frosty skin and ran a hand through his hair. Small particles of ice fell to the floor and melted away upon impact.

The Doctor paused in her step, eyes widening as she looked at him. Before she could say anything, Ianto asked, “Was this happening before? When I pulled Jack out?”

“Yes but…well I thought it was because you’d been at the bottom of the ocean or something else, not that it was because of Jack.”

Ianto looked at the way everything had a light shine now, even his clothes. He hadn’t even realized it before.

“Are you…”

“I’m fine,” Ianto assured her. “Just…well I don’t really know but I’m not dying if that’s what you’re worried about.”

The Doctor simply let out an annoyed huff and reluctantly started moving forward again, only stopping when they were outside the door this time. “Listen Ianto, I think—”

“Don’t worry. I completely agree in this instance. Don’t want to make him faint again.”

The Doctor nodded in agreement and slipped through the door. She left it open but Ianto remained out of sight for the moment, listening in on the conversation.

“What is it Doctor?”

Just hearing him speak had Ianto falling against the wall. All he wanted to do was run into his arms but he held himself at bay and focused on their voices.

“No, I know that look. Doesn’t matter that it’s a different face,” Jack was saying. “Something’s wrong. But of course, you probably wouldn’t be here if everything was right, would you?”

“What? Saving your ass isn’t enough?” chuckled the Doctor.

“Of course not! Where’s the world ending catastrophe?”

“There isn’t one. At least…the issue isn’t quite that big.”

Ianto could imagine Jack’s bemused look as he waited for a better explanation than that.

“Just…listen. I don’t expect you to believe me right away and even seeing him won’t stop any suspicions, I know. If anything you’ll just have more questions than answers. Just don’t immediately start with the third degree Jack. He’s been through lot.”

There was silence after that and Ianto was sure Jack was rethinking waking up on the ship. He was putting the pieces together but wouldn’t be believing it, not yet. The thought was just too impossible, even for him.

“Doctor,” Jack said slowly, “whatever you think you’ve brought with you, it’s not him.”

“What did I say Jack?”

“But it can’t—”

“No, shut it. You’re going to meet him and you’re not going to jump to conclusions,” the Doctor ordered.

From the noise inside, Ianto wasn’t surprised when the Doctor was suddenly there, opening the door wider. Ianto slowly slipped in and finally got his chance to look at Jack. He’d been given new clothes, the others having long since rotted away, and a towel was wrapped around his neck. His hair was still damp from the sea and god did he look tired.

Meria was there as well and from how close they were sitting, Ianto got the full picture of what their relationship had been. It was stupid to be jealous. It had probably been decades for Jack, maybe even longer, but that didn’t stop his heart from doing a painful twinge.

Still, he wasn’t the only hurting in that moment. Jack clearly was as well. His eyes were quickly scanning Ianto’s face, looking him up and down and probably picking out everything that contradicted his version of what Ianto should look like.

“Why do you look like him?” Jack asked, his voice pained and broken. At least he hadn’t forgotten though. At least Ianto knew he had kept that final wish, that he had remembered.

Ianto wanted to get closer. He needed Jack to believe him, but all he did was whisper, “Because I am.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally after all this time they meet again! Thanks again for reading! This has been a blast to write :) I'm also planning on 25 chapters at the moment so though it's getting close it's not the end yet.

They stared at each other, Jack still clearly not believing it, perhaps not even wanting to.

“How long has it been?” asked Ianto. If he knew how long from Jack’s point of view he’d have a better idea of how to approach this.

Jack hesitated, his fists white from how tightly they were clenched.

Meria suddenly stood up, looking between everyone. “Perhaps I should leave—”

“It’s fine,” Jack murmured. “This won’t take long and I’d prefer it if you stayed.”

The words were vanilla enough but…well god damn Jack’s tone. Ianto couldn’t help the look that he shot Meria, even though he was sure they were a perfectly fine person. Only difference though was that it seemed Jack caught this look and he…laughed, sudden and loud.

Thankfully the Doctor and Meria seemed just as confused. The three of them stood there, staring at how Jack laughed and laughed until he was biting his knuckles and tears started to come. He didn’t look like he thought anything was funny. Not in the slightest.

And then Ianto understood. “You right bastard,” growled Ianto. Now only the Doctor and Meria weren’t on the same page. “You knew I’d react like that.”

“Only Ianto could carry that much jealousy in one gaze,” choked Jack.

Ianto stepped forward but stopped himself, his own hands clenched. “How long?” he repeated.

“One hundred and sixty-eight years.”

Ianto was trembling. He couldn’t stop it. Why couldn’t he have been there earlier? Why did it have to be this long? Yet Ianto could tell standing this close to Jack that he was more than just his Jack. It was impossible to fully explain but this was where he was meant to be. That feeling of being clamped down, of being shut off from the universe, it wasn’t a terrifying feeling. It was comforting.

He was meant to stand here, by Jack’s side at this point in time. And maybe doing so would change him for good or hurt him or even kill him. Just because he could feel it and analyze it didn’t mean he completely understood what this proximity was doing to him or what it could do.

But he honestly didn’t care. If his final moments were meant to be by Jack’s side then he would do that.

Maybe Jack didn’t fully believe him still. He was sure there was at least some sliver of doubt still there and plenty of questions but Ianto was done holding back and he was done standing off to the side as he watched those tears run down Jack’s cheeks.

He rushed forward and pulled Jack up, finally pressing his lips to his. He felt Jack’s arms wrap around him, felt him pull their bodies closer. He could smell him and taste him and tangle his fingers up in his hair and he was so incredibly real.

“You’re alive,” Jack said seconds after their lips parted. Still, Jack didn’t seem ready to let him go yet, their bodies still firmly pressed together. “You’re alive.”

“You wouldn’t believe how difficult it was staying that way to find you.”

“I think I have an idea,” Jack replied with a half laugh.

This time Jack was the one who pulled Ianto forward and when they parted once more they were alone, the Doctor and Meria clearly taking the hint. Now Jack pulled him to the bed he’d been sitting on, pulled him close like he was afraid to let go, like looking away would make it all disappear.

“Why are you covered in frost?” Jack finally asked, brushing the crystals from his cheek.

Ianto could feel them forming right away again but even staying this close he didn’t feel pain or any danger. Whatever was changing about his biology as the Doctor had discovered wasn’t going to kill him. At least not any time soon.

“It’s a really…really long story and I don’t really have all the answers to it,” Ianto murmured. “But I’ll try to explain as best I can. I guess the best way to really start out is that Rose and the other Doctor say hi.”

And from there, Ianto continued the story, from waking up in pain, confused and alone, to meeting the other Lisa and his time at the Torchwood of Pete’s World. Jack didn’t interrupt once. Not when he started to speak of Bill and Heather or of traversing other dimensions and going through the Void. He even remained quiet for the part of the creature, his Pilot’s original host and the battle for their universe. And then he got to finding the Doctor and arriving here and getting on the boat and finally Jack.

And there he felt Jack tense and Ianto gripped him tight and kept him near. Of course he would worry the moment Ianto had mentioned the biological changes. “If I think something is wrong I’ll tell you.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise. It’s…odd. But frost or not I’m not dying.”

Jack stared at him for a moment longer as if to make sure before finally nodding in acceptance.

“And you believe me?” murmured Ianto.

“It’s to crazy a story to make up,” Jack replied. He shook his head and then kissed him again, this time even more suddenly and surprising. Ianto loved it, loved being so near after so much searching.

“What about you? What about Gwen and Torchwood and everything else?”

Now it was Ianto’s turn to listen of the aftermath of the 456 Incident, of Jack’s disappearance afterwards and Miracle Day. He listened to the planet hopping and the trouble and the wars and everything in between that Jack had gotten into.

“And Meria…?”

“A good friend during the civil war here,” chuckled Jack as he stroked Ianto’s cheek.

“Everyone you know is a ‘good friend’.”

It was meant more as a joke than anything, all jealousy completely gone now that Ianto was able to hold Jack like this. But the man shook his head. “No, no not everyone. Not you.”

And then Ianto was burying his face into Jack’s neck and he felt Jack pull him down so they were lying on the bed. Ianto tangled their legs together just to get even closer, his grip tightening. He just held him, never having felt this content in his life. He wondered if it was because Jack was a still point, if that was why he changed being near him when Heather hadn’t mentioned any change when near Bill. If his want to get close to Jack was like a magnet, growing stronger and even more inescapable once near because of his condition.

“I thought you were a dream, seeing you like that,” whispered Jack. “I thought…I thought you a trick.”

“I’m here. I’m here and I’m not going to leave you. Not by choice,” Ianto murmured. They both pulled away slightly so they could see the other’s face. Jack ran his thumb along Ianto’s jaw line and he couldn’t help but ask, “Is it cold?”

“No, no you’re warm,” Jack murmured as he gently brushed away the frost and watched it come back. “Are you cold?”

“No. Not at all.”

Ianto kissed Jack again, breathed him in and rested against him. And in that moment he was so tired. His breathing slowed and he fell asleep against Jack. No dreams came and the next thing Ianto knew Jack was shaking him awake. Somehow the man had managed to get untangled and was now kneeling by the bed. The look he gave Ianto was one of relief and had Ianto raise a questioning eyebrow.

“You weren’t waking up,” Jack supplied.

“Well I haven’t really slept in…well I can’t give you an exact number but it’s probably decades, centuries whatever.” And then Ianto paused and really thought about it. “I fell asleep. I never did that once becoming a part of the Pilot.” One look over and Ianto quickly added, “I’m fine Jack.”

“Are you?”

“As far as I can tell, yeah.”

“That’s not good enough,” murmured Jack.

“Then we can talk to the Doctor. She wanted to run some tests anyways.”

“They haven’t seen him.”

Ianto frowned, finally sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “We docked?”

“Yes, a while go. It’s been a few hours. Mer told everyone else off so you could sleep.”

“But why did the Doctor just leave?”

“Just how he can be,” Jack responded.

However Ianto felt like that was wrong. Sure the Doctor left people behind, some less willingly than others, but right now didn’t make since. He quickly got onto his feet and started walking away.

“Ianto—”

“No, she should still be here,” Ianto interrupted. “Her part isn’t done.”

Jack didn’t argue further but Ianto could tell they weren’t on the same page. Still, he followed him off the ship and through the city as Ianto backtracked to where they’d parked the TARDIS. Only upon arriving there was no blue box.

It had to be wrong. Why had she left? There was no reason to it. And then Jack was just accepting it like it was nothing. Ianto knew that the Doctor had left him on that space station but those other times Jack had willingly walked away. He shouldn’t be so compliant with this, just accepting it and moving on. Then again he was over a hundred and fifty years older than Ianto had last known him. He’d heard the story of that time but hadn’t seen it. Maybe Jack had just mellowed but that didn’t seem right either. He’d been just as fire driven when Ianto had known him and though Jack hadn’t given an exact date, Ianto knew he’d lived for well over a century by that point as well.

But then it didn’t matter as Ianto suddenly looked up, hearing the noise that he knew was unique to that of the TARDIS.

“I told you,” Ianto said proudly, looking at Jack with a grin. He turned away and walked towards the doors just as the Doctor poked her head out.

“Sorry for running off like that but I had to get something. Seems wrong for the Captain to not have his coat after all this time,” the Doctor grinned, walking out with the large coat in her arms.

Jack honestly looked shocked, not only that the Doctor was back but that she’d left in the first place to simply get him his coat back, or at least a near perfect replica. The other one had completely rotted through due to the long exposure to the ocean.

The Doctor handed it over to Jack with a fond smile. “I’m not leaving you that quickly Jack,” she said.

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” Jack murmured, taking it from her and having just a moment to look over it. Ianto certainly couldn’t tell if there was any difference to the original. “Thank you.”

The Doctor continued to smile. “It’s been a while Jack. Only felt right if I did this.”

“How long?”

And here the Doctor looked down, suddenly turning sheepish as she said, “Well it’s…it’s just…about a thousand and two hundred years?”

“Doctor!”

“I’ve been busy!”

“Too busy to see me in a thousand and two hundred years?” scoffed Jack.

“Let’s just say the last two regenerations were long ones.”

“I’ll say,” muttered Jack but the smile that quickly graced his face showed that he was more so teasing than anything. “It’s good to see you though Doctor. It’s been to long.”

“It has,” she agreed and suddenly the two were hugging.

“You know, I like this regeneration. It’s like a pocket sized Doctor.”

“Jack, I swear by the Shadow Court that if you ever do something like that I’m throwing you into the fires of Pompeii.”

Jack simply gave a loud boisterous laugh as Ianto rolled his eyes.

“So,” the Doctor said as she turned to look at Ianto. “You still look like you’ve come out of a snowstorm.”

“Yep,” Ianto replied. “But I still feel fine. Though I will admit I actually fell asleep which is odd. I couldn’t really do that before. Or at least I didn’t need to at all.”

“Hmm, let’s go into the TARDIS and see if we can solve that.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again and I hope you enjoy :)

“You’ve redecorated.”

The Doctor smirked and whipped out her sonic screwdriver. “Redecorated a lot since we’ve last spoken.”

Jack took it with a grin as he looked over the new design before his eyes went back to the inside of the TARDIS. “Still got the swimming pool?”

“Like I’d ever get rid of that,” laughed the Doctor.

“A swimming pool?”

Jack turned to smirk at Ianto. “Oh yeah, we had some good memories there.”

“Before he sullies your mind, Rose and Mickey were with us as well,” the Doctor interrupted.

“I think that just makes it more kinky.”

Jack laughed and Ianto had to admit he couldn’t quite stop the smile from popping up. He focused on the Doctor who had pressed a few things on the consol and was now pulling a monitor near her. Ianto moved closer and asked, “What are you doing?”

“A full body scan. I’m comparing it to both Heather’s when she was here and yours when you first arrived,” the Doctor said. “We should have a better idea of what’s happened, or I suppose is happening to you. But while that’s going on…” The Doctor trailed off as she did a few more tricks at the console before leaning back with a satisfied smile. “Spectacular.”

“What is?” asked Ianto.

“Well this will take time so I figured you’d both rather run off and do something fun that just stand here and wait.” The Doctor gestured towards the doors with a sly grin. “Go on.”

Jack shot the Doctor a suspicious look before moving towards the doors, both Ianto and the Doctor moving behind him. Ianto leaned in closer as Jack pushed the doors open and they were met with a gorgeous sight. Jack stepped out, looking behind where the TARDIS was parked before asking, “Are we in a restaurant?”

“Yes, one of the best ones,” the Doctor said with a fond smile. “I saw my wife for the last time here.”

“You got married?” asked Jack.

“Well, I’ve been married to a lot of people but…yeah. She was special,” the Doctor softly murmured. “River Song, she was the daughter of two of my companions.”

“Now, that’s just weird,” Ianto said.

“I should tell you the full story some day,” chuckled the Doctor. “It’s a wild one.”

Ianto smiled in return though that quickly dropped upon seeing Jack’s face. “Is something wrong?”

“What? No! No it’s-well…you said River Song right?”

“Yes, I didn’t stutter,” muttered the Doctor.

“Curly, ginger hair that defies gravity, River Song?”

Now it was the Doctor’s turn to look confused. “Yes?”

“Historian slash con artist with curly, ginger hair that defies gravity, River Song?”

“Yes!”

“Huh…the universe is a small place.”

“Don’t tell me you met her,” Ianto said.

“Oh we did more than that. We were on opposite sides of a con, not realizing the other one was trying to pull off a con as well. Ended with a building blowing up, the kidnapping of a president of some asteroid, and us getting hitched. Though I still can’t remember how that happened.”

“Why am I not surprised?” muttered Ianto with a shake of his head. He glanced over at the Doctor who only looked happy to hear that odd story.

“Sounds like a normal day for River,” murmured the Doctor before quickly pushing Ianto out the doors too. “Go, have a good time. I’ll see you both later.”

Ianto watched the Doctor firmly shut the door before turning back to Jack who had moved away from the TARDIS and over to the balcony. There was only one table overlooking the valley and two large towers. He couldn’t be positive but they seemed natural.

Moving next to Jack, he noted how his mouth was open, the awe in his eyes. “Do you know where we are?”

“The Singing Towers of Darillium.”

“Wait are…they’re the…it’s those things that are making the music?” Ianto had thought it was a band or speaker somewhere but now he realized it was coming from out there. “What is it?”

“Do you want the technical explanation or the whimsical one?” asked Jack.

“Oh, technically definitely.”

Jack laughed and then pointed out in front of them, drawing Ianto’s eyes to the two pillars as he described the crystals and caves and how when the wind came through just right, they sang as they did now.

“I used to hear stories of their beauty when I was a kid,” murmured Jack. “But I never thought I’d get a chance to see them.”

Ianto took his hand and squeezed. “They’re remarkable,” he said. “What else have you always wanted to see?”

“Well, lots of things I supposed. Putting me a bit on the spot Ianto.”

“Sorry,” Ianto chuckled. “But where’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to see that you never got a chance to? There has to be a place that pops immediately to mind.”

“Galzorn,” Jack said with a grin. “It’s a terrifying planet and normally nothing could live there. I mean, depending on the time period there are some habitats there that mine all sorts of minerals special to that place. But its size and placement and everything makes it so glass rains sideways at breakneck speeds.”

“Sideways?”

Jack nodded excitedly. “Obviously if someone was just to appear there, they’d be sliced to bits but I’ve always wanted to see that gorgeously blue surface. I’ve heard the view is remarkable.”

“If you’re not sliced to bits.”

“Yes of course.”

“Well we should go,” grinned Ianto. “Obviously with precautions. But we should.”

“It’s a date,” Jack replied.

“Oh, are you Ianto Jones and Captain Jack Harkness?”

They both turned around and looked curiously at the man behind them.

“Only the Doctor had reservations made two years ago for the balcony. So are you…”

Jack snorted and gestured towards the TARDIS in the hall.

“Oh of course, silly me. Anyways I have the menus and…well I apologize if it’s rude but I can’t help but wonder what species you are.”

It took Ianto a moment to realize the waiter was talking about him which Jack seemed fairly amused by.

“Um I’m…well I’m uh…miscellaneous?”

“Ah, I’ve never heard of that species.”

Jack quickly covered his mouth to cover up the laugh that was clearly trying to escape.

They walked over to the table as the waiter politely kept talking before finally leaving them, the towers still singing. Ianto admired the view for a bit before focusing back on Jack, asking the question he was most curious about in that moment.

“Why were you so resigned when you thought the Doctor was leaving? She’s your friend right? Why would you think she’d just abandon you without rhyme or reason?”

“My relationship with the Doctor is a…complicated one.”

“I think that’s the only type of relationship the Doctor has.”

“Probably,” chuckled Jack. “But no, it’s just that…the last time I saw the Doctor, my Doctor, I could tell. He was going to regenerate again but it was different, this whole time was different. And it was a goodbye. A very permanent one.”

“But the Doctor told me that you recognized her. That you knew that face.”

“Just because I knew it was goodbye didn’t mean I stopped looking. For a while I…I hoped he’d come back. But he never did.”

“Maybe you should talk to her about it.”

“Not much reason to. He wouldn’t—”

“Jack, I will lock you both in a closet if necessary,” Ianto interrupted him. “I think you should talk. It’ll do you both some good.”

Jack looked away before glancing back again. “You really think so?”

“Yes, I do. Whatever happened with the Doctor, whatever reason she had for saying goodbye, talk about it,” said Ianto. “Do it or I will lock both of you inside that closet door.”

He chuckled. “When did you get so wise?”

“Excuse you, I’ve always been wise,” laughed Ianto. “It’s not my fault you haven’t listened to my advice before now.”

“My apologies,” Jack replied.

Ianto grinned in response as he finally looked at the menu and realized another interesting fact. He was hungry. As the Pilot he didn’t have to eat and he hadn’t felt the need for food when he was with Bill and Heather though he was able to try the different alien delicacies. He wondered if the Doctor had an answer for that too.

“I’m starving,” Ianto said as he bit his lip and really thought about that.

“What? Haven’t been eating right?”

“No, I just didn’t need to. Same way I didn’t need to sleep but here I am. Sleeping and eating and frozen out of higher dimensions,” Ianto said with a shrug. “It’s almost like I’m human again but the Doctor said it wasn’t quite that.”

Jack gave him a wary look.

“I’m fine,” Ianto quickly assured him. “And as a matter of fact, I’ve been meaning to tell you something else. I forgive you.” Ianto reached across the table and took Jack’s hand in his. He held him tight and repeated it again. He watched a weight lift off Jack’s shoulders, like he hadn’t realized how important those words were and how much he’d needed to hear them.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Ianto kissed his hand in response and they went on to have a wonderful evening. It reminded Ianto of their first date. Simple and fun and no aliens or cracks in time or weapons of mass destruction popping up. After everything that had happened it was a welcomed break and Ianto wondered if he’d have the chance to experience this kind of peace again. He hoped he would, that whatever the Doctor found wouldn’t be his end.

No matter the outcome though, Ianto was focused on simply enjoying himself and this time with Jack. It had been so long since he’d had the chance at such a peaceful moment.

“I’m curious about the outfit change,” Jack said at one point. “I know you mentioned something about needing to change in Pete’s World to feel more comfortable but…well you have to admit it’s a drastic one.”

Ianto chuckled at that. “Well, Rose bought me the jacket,” he said fondly, toying with the sleeve as he remembered her. “And the other Ianto’s dressing style was just to similar to mine. Sticking with this helped people to see me as me.”

“Well I like it. The beard especially. It’s hot.”

Ianto rolled his eyes and the dinner continued, the towers continuing to sing as the night came.

Then the Doctor appeared at their table, slamming her hands onto the table and causing both to jump. Her eyes were bright though as she looked at Ianto and said, “You’re not dying.”

Ianto just blinked at her in confusion. “Well that’s nice.”

“Come on, you should see this,” the Doctor excitedly explained. She grabbed hold of Ianto’s hand and quickly dragged him back to the TARDIS, Jack close behind.

“You’re not dying but in stasis,” the Doctor quickly said as she ran to the viewing monitor and pulled it around. “You are quite literally frozen to this space and time.”

“But I can walk around. We moved from that planet to here.”

“No, no not this space and time. That one.”

Ianto followed where the Doctor was pointing, right to Jack.

“Me?” asked Jack.

“Yes, exactly. The Pilot aspect is frozen in place, hence the frost that won’t go away.”

“But why can I suddenly sleep and I feel the need to eat?”

“That’s probably the human aspect. With most of the Pilot part dormant, some of the human parts have come front and center, but not completely.” The Doctor quickly dragged Ianto closer and pointed to a graphic. “See that? That’s your DNA structure. That’s what a human double helix is supposed to look like and over here is what yours looked like when you originally entered the TARDIS.”

Ianto could feel Jack getting closer to also look and heard him say, “That’s beautiful.”

“Stop sucking up,” said Ianto as he elbowed him.

“Hey! I’m serious. Look at how its combined. It’s remarkable.”

“Spectacular,” the Doctor quickly added with a grin. “You’re gorgeous Ianto.”

“Let’s just stop there, shall we?” suggested Ianto with a shake of his head. “All this is weird enough without you two complimenting my DNA structure.”

Jack laughed in response and Ianto couldn’t help but smile back. He finally had his answers now. He could stay with Jack and everything would be alright.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So school is going to start soon so I'm going to try and finish this story before then so you guys don't get left hanging or anything like that. That means it'll probably be somewhere between 25 and 30 chapters for this. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy :)

The Doctor took a step back and quickly spun around the consol. “So where to next?”

“What do you mean?” asked Jack.

“Just pick a place. Anywhere, anytime,” grinned the Doctor. “Let’s find ourselves an adventure.”

Jack frowned, clearly surprised by this. “You mean…you want us to stay?”

“Why not? It’s been to quiet here anyways. It’s nice to have some company and we do have some catching up to do,” the Doctor responded.

Ianto watched as Jack hesitated and when Jack looked to him, he gave a small nod. Perhaps it was time for their talk.

“Why did you say goodbye?” Jack asked softly. “Why did you decide that was the end?”

The Doctor’s smile dropped. She looked away, turning from Ianto and Jack before spinning back around. “I forgot. I chose to forget because I thought it would be better. A clean slate so to speak. Because I thought it would be easier.”

Jack took a deep breath. A shaky one. “I can understand that.”

“I’m not surprised,” the Doctor murmured, her mouth quirking upwards. “I smiled more. Laughed all the time. I wore a fez and kept a bowtie and I forgot. And with that came the bravados, the belief that I could do anything. I was unstoppable.

“And then I remembered. I remembered the moment when I chose coward over killer. Coward over victor. I remembered the victims and the reasons and the friends and I started to work backwards. It hurt being close to people again. It was hard letting myself out, joining the universe once more in a way that I had distanced myself from.

“But my last regeneration? That was the Doctor who remembered. The one who learned from his mistakes and that despite the pain and the depression that I can’t forget, not again.” She focused on Jack and stepped forward. “I left you and so many others behind but it was all those people and memories that kept me the Doctor. That made me proud to be called that.

“Time runs out. Even for me and I’m not going to forget that. Not again. I am the Doctor that will keep. Keep the memories and vow that I will choose coward over killer any day. No more.”

By this point the Doctor and Jack were face to face and with that Jack hugged her again only this time he successfully pull her off her feet too.

“I told you not to do that!”

“I get one free pass!” Jack exclaimed before setting her down again. He kissed her and held her face close, his own softening as he murmured, “You’re a good person.”

“I haven’t always been.”

“And knowing that is what makes you a remarkable one,” replied Jack. He hugged the Doctor tight and as he pulled back, he added, “I would love to travel with you again.”

The Doctor grinned in joy before quickly looking over and adding, “You’re of course welcomed aboard too Ianto.”

“Oh, I was coming along anyways. You couldn’t have stopped me,” chuckled Ianto. He was happy though. He’d wished he’d had the chance to step out for that seeing as it had been very private and emotional. Overall though, he was happy for Jack and that him and the Doctor had reconciled. The Doctor seemed better off for talking as well.

“Glad to hear. So let’s have some fun then,” the Doctor grinned.

And they did. The Doctor pulled a lever and then they were off, through the universe, flying past stars and planets with Ianto by her side and Jack on the other. Ianto had never quite had that much fun, the feeling of freedom and randomness that came with it. It wasn’t like traveling as the Pilot and if anything he was happy that most of the senses were blocked. It led to feeling surprised and he liked the unpredictability of it all. Particularly when the TARDIS herself seemed to take control and decided what was best for the group.

He talked about it with Jack in one of the many bedrooms in the TARDIS that had temporarily been named theirs.

Jack kissed him on the forehead and ruffled his hair. “What are you saying? That you don’t like being part of the Pilot?”

“No, not quite. I mean, if it wasn’t for it I may have never gotten to find you again,” Ianto said. “And I mean…whatever I am, this in between thing, it has its perks and tracking frost everywhere isn’t exactly bothersome.”

Jack laughed at that.

“I just…I’m glad I found you when I did. I didn’t realize it at the time but then…things like that you can’t see until you look back,” sighed Ianto. “I would have changed. I was changing I think. Seeing it all was so beautiful and gorgeous and if I ever could show you the universe like that I would but…I was alone and separate and…I was becoming distant. There wasn’t any fear. If I hadn’t had you to search for, a goal, I might have just ghosted.”

“What are you saying?”

“You’re keeping me human Jack,” murmured Ianto. “Not biologically but emotionally and mentally. I don’t think I would have been particularly bad, evil. But if I’d stayed the Pilot I wouldn’t have been me.”

Ianto kissed Jack slowly and he responded, pushing Ianto to the bed and straddling him. He peppered kisses along his jaw and down his throat, pushed up his shirt and nuzzled against his chest and continued to press his lips to him softly.

“I love you.”

Ianto froze.

He could feel Jack slow to a stop before pulling up. He knew Jack was resting against his chest, looking at him, but his mind was still somewhat stuck on the words.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just…I don’t think you’ve ever told me that,” Ianto softly said.

“I did…well no I guess that wasn’t you. Though I had hoped…”

“What?” asked Ianto.

“The House of the Dead. One of the millions of smaller stories I didn’t tell you,” murmured Jack. “But it doesn’t matter, I’m saying those words to you now. The real you. I mean that.”

Ianto could feel himself shaking and quickly pulled Jack down into a harsh kiss. “Say it again,” he whispered. “Please.”

“I love you. I love you Ianto Jones.”

And in that moment Ianto was happier than he had ever been.

They continued on with the Doctor. They went to strange worlds and met aliens of all shapes and sizes. At one point Jack even passed him a colorful drink that Ianto was pretty sure turned his brain inside out.

“Oh god why would anyone ever drink this?”

Jack and the Doctor simply laughed, clearly knowing full well what drinking that thing was like.

They even went to Jack’s planet of glass and that turned into a much longer stay than expected. Soon they were uncovering that the business of mining minerals was just a front for hiding out their cloning technology in what at first looked to be some evil plan to switch everyone with their clones that they alone could control.

Of course, as many things with the Doctor did, things became more complicated and it seemed the man that had started this wasn’t intending for such schemes. Soon they were discovering that all he’d been trying to do was bring his daughter back and though the follow up of that had been strenuous and brimming with emotion, it had a happy ending that Ianto wasn’t expecting.

They left the glass planet with the company shut down, the one really responsible dead having fallen into a vat, and the original man behind it walking away with his new daughter who the man had thankfully come to understand couldn’t be a replacement for the last one but could at least be the chance at a new life.

Most of the adventures didn’t turn out as complicated as that but at least Ianto had a fair number of good stories he’d be able to tell to others now.

And then one day as Ianto walked into the consol room, he was surprised when the Doctor seemed to grab him out of nowhere and pulled him to the center. Jack was still asleep but Ianto had decided to wonder about the TARDIS a bit before heading there. The Doctor looked like she’d been there all while they’d slept and Ianto again wondered if the Doctor ever did sleep, though he was sure she must from time to time.

Such thoughts quickly left him though as the Doctor pointed out more information on the monitor. “You’re not aging.”

Ianto jolted, shocked by his words. “You can’t be serious.”

“One hundred and ten percent,” the Doctor replied. “Look here, you’re still living. Your cells still need energy. That’s probably part of the reason that you need to sleep and eat now. But despite the Pilot being mostly frozen it’s still alive. Obviously I can’t speak for it but if I were to guess, finding another host can be fairly tricky and I doubt it wants to inhabit a corpse.

“Normally you humans age because as cells regenerate the DNA and ability to replicate becomes shorter and harder to do until they can’t work anymore. But the Pilot, it’s regularly regenerating your cells with the exact same DNA length. It’s keeping you alive.”

Ianto didn’t know what to stay. The thought wasn’t immediately terrifying, not like if he’d been told it before. Even though he hadn’t really thought about how the Pilot could extend his life, the idea of living far past his intended years had occurred to him. Besides, he wasn’t human anymore, he’d already established that.

But to just keep living, to not be aging even at an incredibly slow rate…

“You mean I won’t die?”

“Well, I wouldn’t suggest taking after Jack and stepping in front of bullets or getting blown up. I don’t think the Pilot’s ability to regenerate that far is possible in this state, at least I’d rather not test it,” the Doctor supplied. “But as long as the Pilot sticks with you and at least in this stasis state that you’re in when near Jack, you won’t die from old age.”

The Doctor swung the monitor back into place but upon Ianto still being unable to find any words, she quickly added, “Listen, I know this is probably a hard thing to wrap your head around so if you need—”

“Jack wouldn’t have to be alone.”

“What?”

“If I…if I can keep going. If I keep living then Jack doesn’t have to be alone,” Ianto said. “I’m right, aren’t I? I can keep going?”

The Doctor’s face softened and she took Ianto’s hands in hers. “You can,” she agreed. “If you and Jack choose, you could continue traveling with him for however long you wished.”

For Ianto, this was more than he could have ever wished for. He’d been content in spending his final years with Jack if he’d wished but this…this chance to keep going past death, past it all?

“Thank you Doctor,” Ianto said as he hugged her.

“No need for that. You’ve done the spectacular bit Ianto. I just read a monitor,” chuckled the Doctor.

Ianto simply hugged the Doctor again and after that he was running back through the TARDIS and towards their room. He rushed in and jumped onto the bed like a child, pure excitement and hope brimming from him.

Jack quickly woke up, his hair in all sorts of disarray as Ianto brought him into a deep kiss before murmuring, “I’m not leaving.”

“Were you planning to?” asked Jack, somewhat confused and still waking up.

“No I mean-if you’ll have me-I won’t ever leave you. I can stay. Forever,” Ianto murmured.

It took a moment longer for Jack to fully understand but when he did, his eyes were shining and his mouth falling open. “You can’t be serious.”

“About this? I wouldn’t dare to joke,” replied Ianto. “I don’t have to leave. Not if…not if you don’t want me to.”

“Not want-of course I don’t!” Jack cried out, his eyes tearing up as he pulled Ianto closer. “I won’t let you go again.”

Ianto could tell him the technical explanation later. For now it was all about the emotion and focusing on being wrapped up in Jack’s arms.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And one more adventure to go on before the end. Enjoy!

One day Jack whispered into Ianto’s ear and he nodded. They had enjoyed their time in the TARDIS but it was time to move on now, to go their own story and fine some stability from the constant traveling.

Jack spoke about it first with the Doctor not long after their most recent adventure.

It was hard, choosing to leave her after all this time but Ianto did agree. They’d been with her for a while but Ianto knew he couldn’t keep doing this forever. It was fun and a good break from everything else but he wanted a place to call home, at least for a little while, and as inviting as the TARDIS was, it wasn’t his.

“You just have to promise to visit,” Jack said. “I don’t want to have to run across half a galaxy or get stuck at the bottom of a sinking ship to wait for you.”

“Deal,” said the Doctor before pulling them both into a loving hug. As she stepped back again, she asked, “So where to? Where should we land?”

Ianto looked curiously at Jack, not having any idea.

“I think New Boston Three is a good choice. It’s a very busy spaceport. Should have no shortage of resources there.”

“Then there we shall go,” the Doctor responded and with a flourish she went around the consol. However, she paused, frowning at the instruments and monitor in front of her.

Raising an eyebrow, Ianto walked over and joked, “What? Is the TARDIS saying we have to go on one more adventure together?”

“No it’s…it’s not the TARDIS. At least I don’t think so,” muttered the Doctor with a shake of her head. “It must be an error. It has to be.” And with that she wacked the monitor but nothing on it seemed to change.

If the Doctor was getting worried, that was reason enough to put Ianto on edge and this certainly didn’t seem like some ridiculous joke. From Jack’s face it was clear he agreed. He started to walk over, probably to try and decipher the readings and figure out what had the Doctor so worried.

Before he could though Ianto felt his legs giving way and his eyes sliding shut. He couldn’t tell what was happening to the others, his world unexpectedly going black. All thought left his mind like falling into a dreamless sleep until feeling seemed to come back to his hands and feet and consciousness returned.

The first second Ianto got to open his eyes he did with a gasp. He lurched forward, grabbing hold of himself as if to just double check that he was all there. Then his eyes finally ran around the room, going over the plain, white walls and simple bed that he was in.

With a jolt, he realized he was dripping water, that frost no longer covered his skin. That meant he was a fair length away from Jack but this time he knew how to reach him. He stretched forward and—

Shot back to his current dimension. It had been nothing but darkness. Darkness and a singular spec that had been…everything. It didn’t make since but he had to accept the information he had. He couldn’t go anywhere, couldn’t walk through space and time because this was it, all of it happening in one go.

But if that was true then what was with this white room and why hadn’t everything just ended? Or why couldn’t Ianto feel himself spread across every point of time and space that he’d existed in? None of it was making since.

He quickly jumped out of the bed and went for the door. Was the Doctor here as well? Was Jack? Had Ianto been the only one effected by…whatever had gotten him? What about the TARDIS? What could have broken through its defenses and taken him away?

There wasn’t a window in the room so hopefully walking into the hallway would give him an answer only…it was just as plain and white as the room. Doors were evenly spaced up and down on both sides with no numbers or signs as to what they were for or who could be in there.

And then Ianto realized there weren’t any lights. At least none that he could see. Yet the entire area was lit up. Ianto tried to find a source but there was nothing and then he of course realized he didn’t even have a shadow anymore. It was like someone had a bulb pointed at him in every direction yet the same was being done for the hall. There were no shadows and the feeling of wrongness set in again, everything looking two dimensional in nature as Ianto had a hard time distinguishing any type of depth.

But as someone who had traveled between dimensions, he could at least tell that this was the third one. He just had no idea what was happening to it.

He started to walk.

And walked.

He kept going.

Door after door.

Finally he tried one but it didn’t budge. He tried to force it open but it remained firmly shut and soon all Ianto could do was continue forward again.

So he kept walking. He walked and walked and—

He froze at finally hearing something other than his own breathing or footsteps. He slowly turned back around and saw that he was right. The sound he’d heard was a door opening. From his position, Ianto couldn’t tell who it could be though and instinctively took a step back. Would he have to run or fight? There was a chance he wouldn’t have to do either but he remained alert anyways, holding his breath as he waited for something-anything!-to come out.

That fear went out the window upon the face he saw. “Heather!” He rushed forward and quickly hugged her. “You wouldn’t believe how good it is to see you! Anyone really,” gasped Ianto.

“Same here,” she replied, shock clearly in her eyes.

Ianto then noted the movement and expected to see Bill at her side but was shocked by the appearance of a young woman with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

“Hi,” she said, sticking out her hand like everything was normal. “My name is Jenny. Lovely to meet you.”

Ianto took her hand, more instinctually than anything. She shook his hand vigorously before quickly looking around. “Hmm, it’s a bit different here.”

And with that the door they had come through suddenly closed. Ianto immediately went to try to force it open but Heather was shaking her head.

“That’s not going to work. However they open, it’s by their command, not ours. And once you go through them they close again,” said Heather.

“How long have you been walking around?”

Jenny shrugged. “No idea. This whole place seems kind of timeless, doesn’t it? I mean, Heather told me all space and time is happening in a singular moment.”

“So you tried to get out too?” asked Ianto.

Heather nodded just as Jenny grabbed his arm excitedly. “So you two are the same species? Oh that’s remarkable! Heather here told me that everything was just a singular dot in an otherwise empty space. Is that what you saw too?”

“Yeah…yeah exactly that,” muttered Ianto. “What’s with the cheery excitement though? Aren’t you even the least bit frightened by all of this?”

“Of course! This whole thing is terrifying,” she exclaimed. If she was trying to sell those words the sparkle in her eyes wasn’t really helping.

“So did you two just run into each other?” asked Ianto.

They both nodded and the three quickly swapped their stories of what they were doing beforehand and what had happened when they’d woken up. There wasn’t any commonality as to how they’d got here, not that Ianto could understand, but it seemed they’d all woken up in identical rooms and it had also took them a while to note the lack of shadows.

“Wait, you said that this hallway is different?”

“The doors are closer together but that’s about it,” murmured Heather.

“And what about Bill? Is she alright?”

Though obviously Ianto wanted to know, he immediately regretted asking that. It was clear from Heather’s expression that she’d been trying to avoid thinking about Bill at all.

“From my perspective it’s been a fairly long time since we last saw you. Bill’s been on Earth working towards a degree for the past three Earth years,” replied Heather. “I don’t…I don’t know where she is, if she’s here. I don’t know which is worse, if she is or isn’t.”

Ianto quickly took her hand and gave her a comforting squeeze. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out together.”

“I didn’t even think about other people,” murmured Jenny. “If this is all of space and time squished into a single point, do you think everyone in the entire universe is here as well?”

“Maybe…maybe not,” Heather said. “We just need to keep moving. Maybe we’ll find someone else.”

“That’s all I’ve been doing,” sighed Ianto. “But I don’t exactly have a better idea.”

“Which way were you going?” asked Heather.

“Uh…” One of the biggest issues with having such a bland hallway and no shadows, you could get turned around easily. Ianto really didn’t want to backtrack, not after how long it had felt like he’d been walking. However, he ultimately had to guess and the three of them continued on their way.

At first it was in silence but that quickly got old, nothing in their environment stimulating them in any shape or form.

“So what have you been up to? How long?” asked Heather.

“I can’t really say how long it took me to find the Doctor but after—”

“You know the Doctor!?” interrupted Jenny, shock and excitement brimming from her.

“Do you?” asked Ianto.

“He’s my dad! Oh, do you think he’s here?”

“Wait that’s…that’s a commonality,” Heather suddenly said. “Where we were when this all happened, time and space, that wasn’t it but we all know the Doctor.”

“Do you think this has something to do with her?” asked Ianto.

“Her-oh. So that’s the regeneration you found,” said Heather. “I’ve only met her once.”

“Her?” asked Jenny.

“Oh, the Doctor’s newest regeneration. Female, small, bleach blonde hair,” Ianto quickly said.

Jenny laughed at that. It seemed like she did that a lot but the sound wasn’t demeaning or false. Just joyful and excited, like everything was just so new and brilliant.

“Well at least I can now say I get my hair from dad,” Jenny said with a large smile.

Ianto couldn’t help it. Just the way she talked and seemed to look at their situation and this world, he had to know. “How old are you?”

“Almost three,” she grinned happily.

“Alright, now I really need to hear the story behind this,” said Heather.

From there, Ianto heard the insane adventure with the Doctor, Martha Jones, and Donna Noble and how a force grown clone had created a TimeLord. Of course, after that Jenny begged to know their stories and how they knew the Doctor. Ianto was actually interested in listening to Heather’s. When they’d been connected, he could since that story but it was different from actually hearing it from her lips. How the Pilot took her and made her and how she could only follow Bill because of a promise. She even talked of a few other adventures that happened between her, the Doctor, and Bill after they’d left Ianto’s side.

“And did you finally find Jack?” asked Heather.

“Yes, I was actually with him and the Doctor when—”

But Ianto quickly stopped upon finally hearing something other than himself or the two women beside him. It was a door opening.

The door was actually several paces behind them and when it started to close again, their swift walking turned to sprinting the three all but tumbled through the opening before it firmly snapped shut behind them. Ianto looked up to see…

The exact same hallway. Only it was slightly tinged blue this time.

Ianto groaned and pushed himself off the floor. “Well…it looks like we’re going to be stuck walking again.”


	22. Chapter 22

With it looking like there would be a great deal of walking ahead of them, Ianto did get his chance to further tell Heather what happened after he’d left them. Jenny also seemed equally interested to hear about her father and how Ianto knew her.

Eventually it got to the point where stories were the only things they had. They simply kept walking and walking and walking and even when a door opened it was basically the same thing they’d seen before.

Ianto was just getting so god damn tired of it that when he reached out, it was more out of annoyance, boredom, and irritation. Only when he reached out he got a shock.

He stumbled and hit the wall but before either could help him, he was gasping out, “It’s getting smaller.”

“You mean the universe?” asked Jenny.

Ianto looked to Heather and from her sudden reaction, he knew she had looked too.

“It’s getting more concentrated,” Heather said. She grabbed Ianto’s hand and Jenny’s, quickly pulling them both along. “We need to hurry.”

“Is something bad going to happen?” asked Jenny.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t but something is happening and we need to keep moving,” Heather replied.

Ianto didn’t argue, anything being better than remaining still. After all, however long they were going there didn’t seem a need to rest and no one was getting hungry. Even Jenny seemed fine. However the swift paces changed again only this time it wasn’t something that Ianto or Heather could feel. It was something they saw as they walked down the endless hall.

It was like a wall of glass had started breaking in front of them and as shards fell, the three of them could see something other than the hallway.

It was all of history falling apart in a swirl of black and darkness, crushing under its own weight.

“Run!”

In a flash, the three of them were turning around and pushing their bodies to their limits. But whereas their recent past hadn’t caused them any fatigue despite all the walking, the nothingness behind them was dragging all three of them down as it broke apart their world.

Ianto wasn’t sure they could out run it. Every second it seemed closer. Was this it? No answers? Just shoved into one singular point?

But then there, a door and a face peaking out and Ianto was barreling into them with Jenny and Heather right behind them. He quickly shoved himself up and automatically dragged the person up as he gasped, “We have to run-Rose?!”

“Ianto! I can’t believe—”

“No we don’t have time for this,” Ianto quickly interrupted. “That thing—”

“Don’t worry, it can’t get us from here,” Rose replied. “Not unless it appears in this hall. Otherwise we’re safe.”

“We…” Finally Ianto looked around and besides Jenny and Heather, there were two other people there. One was an old man and the other-

“Jack!”

“Oh thank god you’re alright!”

Ianto kissed him and hugged him as hard as he could. “What’s going on? Are you Rose? The Rose we knew?”

“Yes and—”

“But that doesn’t make sense,” interrupted Heather. “You’re from a different dimension. How could you—”

“It’s not just one universe,” Ianto interrupted. “It’s all of them! All of them getting crushed into a singular point and it’s getting smaller and smaller!”

“You mean you’ve looked?” asked Jack.

“Tried but there’s nothing there. I can’t travel, I can’t feel out anything individual,” Ianto said. “It’s just getting smaller and smaller.”

“Every universe?” the old man suddenly spoke out. “What’s the purpose of that? Why crush it all down?”

“Who are you?” asked Jenny.

“Wilfred Mott,” the man said.

“He also hung out with the Doctor for a bit,” said Jack.

“Wait so…so everyone here has something to do with the Doctor?” asked Ianto.

“She does too?” Rose asked, gesturing to Jenny.

She quickly nodded.

“Well, either way we can talk while we move,” said Jack. “That thing can strike at anytime.”

“How long have you been here?” asked Ianto.

“A while now. We’ve…we’ve lost a lot,” Jack muttered.

“Wait you have! To that…that thing?”

Rose nodded as Wilfred suddenly said, “That stupid Prime Minister. I told her it was better if she went. I’m old anyways but she had to try and save my ass.”

“Wait, Prime Minister?” asked Jenny.

“Harriet Jones. Though not from my universe. A different one. But yeah she just…she just suddenly was gone,” muttered Wilfred.

“But they can’t be gone forever. They can’t right?” asked Ianto. “By this point it seems like almost all the universes have been destroyed but there’s this place. We’re still here.”

“Exactly!” Jenny suddenly piped up. “There must be a reason for all this.”

“Well maybe we’ll find it if we keep moving.”

“Perhaps,” murmured Rose.

Suddenly an idea popped into Ianto’s head. “Hold on, we figured out that all of us were connected with the Doctor in one way or another. What about the people you encountered?”

“Never really came up,” said Wilfred. “Though I can say I’ve encountered the Doctor several times.”

“And though it was a different Harriet Jones, the Doctor and her knew each other,” said Rose.

“So the theory isn’t completely destroyed,” muttered Ianto. “But what could the Doctor have to do with this?”

“We just need to keep moving,” Jack replied. “There has to be a reason that we’ve woken up here in the first place. Why we weren’t just immediately destroyed.”

“It’s almost like we’re being guided,” muttered Rose. “And then at random moments we’re chosen to be picked off.”

“It’s definitely to organized to be random,” murmured Heather.

“Do you think we can get things back?” asked Wilfred. “Could this really be the end?”

“All those universes, histories and futures, and this is their result? It doesn’t seem right,” muttered Jack. “If there’s something orchestrating this, if there’s a reason for it, then perhaps there’s a reason to change things again.”

“Do you think finding the Doctor could help things?” asked Jenny.

“It’s possible but us running into each other, the others, and now you, was purely coincidental,” said Rose. “There’s no way to actually hone in on the Doctor and even if there is there’s a possibility he didn’t make it.”

Ianto hadn’t thought of that, of the Doctor not even surviving. Maybe she hadn’t. Maybe the fact that they all knew the Doctor didn’t matter. All they could do was keep moving.

And despite the fact that they very much knew they could be crushed by nothingness at any moment, walking in silence got extremely dull and irritable no matter how sullen and confusing this whole thing was. Besides, if they could exchange stories again, maybe they could find some sort of clue.

They talked back and forth, Ianto and Heather explaining their stories to Rose and Wilfred as Jack spoke to Jenny. Then of course Rose and Wilfred gave theirs as well before Jenny got to speak up. It seemed another seven months had passed for Rose since Ianto had last seen her and she spoke a bit on how John and Lisa were doing. Then Ianto got to hear Wilfred’s story and he was shocked to find it the most engaging as he spoke about his granddaughter and the adventures and the Doctor and the TimeLords.

“The TimeLords are still alive?” gasped Rose.

“Last the Doctor told me they and the Time War were locked or something but they’re all alive,” Wilfred said.

“And the Master?” asked Jack with a pained look.

“I suppose so.”

Rose shook her head, shock still clear. “If…no once I find John I’ll have to tell him. I’ll need too. He’ll be overjoyed.”

“The files always said he was the last of his kind,” murmured Ianto, surprised as well.

“The Doctor certainly thought that for a while,” Jack replied. “He used to call himself that, last of the TimeLords. Once we get back to our Doctor I’ll have to ask her about it.”

“Excuse me,” Jenny suddenly spoke up, “but who’s this John you lot keep mentioning? Why would he need to know about this?”

As Rose explained it, Jenny’s eyes seemed to go all the wider.

“And all this happened after Martha Jones and Donna Noble? Are you sure of it?”

“From what I know,” said Rose just as Jack nodded his head.

“Imagine that then…two fathers,” murmured Jenny. At the confused looks she got to be the next person to tell her story to Rose, Jack, and Wilfred. “I’ve been looking for him for so long and…well I doubt I’ll ever get to meet this other Doctor, John Smith. But I would like it if he knew I was alive. It only seems right.”

“Of course,” said Rose. “I’ll make sure to tell him.”

And from there they continued on, very often one of them saying something that quickly had to be explained to someone else and other strange and unexpected revelations came out of it. During it all they managed to get into another hallway, this one tinged green but otherwise still basically the same.

Though by the next time the world seemed to crack again was unexpected, they were all at least more prepared for it and quickly took off sprinting in the opposite direction. It was obvious that out of all of them Wilfred wouldn’t likely make and he even yelled at them to keep going at one point. However, Ianto went back and grabbed him under the shoulder despite his protests, shoving them both through a door before it closed again.

“What if you had gotten caught in it to?” demanded Wilfred the moment they were through. “What about your friends?”

“I’m not going to let anyone else get left behind,” gritted Ianto. “Not you, not anyone else.”

“I’m old. I’ve lived my time. Better to have me go than any of you lot.”

Ianto and Jack gave each other knowing looks. “I think we’ve all had our time as well. Besides, you have Donna to still fight for,” said Ianto. “I’m not going to leave you behind.”

“But—”

“No way Wilfred. I’ll drag you if I have too,” said Ianto with a pointed look.

The man shook his head, exhausted and sad. “You’re good people. All of you.”

“So are you,” Ianto said with a firm grip. “Come on.”

They kept moving after that, not that there was much else they could do. Ianto had no idea if time was passing, how long had it been, what was left to do. He started get disheartened with the idea. Maybe no one was behind this. Maybe the end of space and time for every universe had been a lie and this was the truth. Would there be anything after this? Would there be a break in life? Or nothing but the Void?

He was afraid to go out and look, to see how small everything was still getting, to see how much more room they had left before they too were crushed. Despite know what was coming, it was harder for everyone else to truly understand the gravity of it all. Only he and Heather could actually take a step back and look at it all crushed into that singularly dense point, getting smaller and smaller.

And then, he hadn’t even thought of that. If he could look at it all from that point of view, did that mean an aspect of him would survive in the nothingness, floating forever? He wouldn’t even be able to describe it as dark because how can the opposite of light exist without eyes? How can silence exist when there is no sound?

It made Ianto’s stomach drop at the thought and he quickly reached out for Jack. He squeezed his hand and kept up with everyone else through the endless series of hallways. If all that speculation was the case, he hoped he wouldn’t survive it. He’d rather die with Jack and everyone else than live a pointless existence.


	23. Chapter 23

And then the hallways did change. Things didn’t exactly make sense but at least they were getting somewhere.

It was a circular room with only one door in or out, the one they had just come through. The plain whiteness with the differing shades or differing distances were gone and were instead replaced with texture and tubes and knobs. It was like they were in the consol room of some weathered spaceship.

But it all looked weird, slightly off like… The shadows. The shadows and normal lighting was back! No longer did everything look so flat. There was depth again. It wasn’t that it looked weird. Finally the scene in front of Ianto looked real and right.

“I think we’re at the center of all this,” murmured Jack.

“But there’s no one here,” said Rose. “Who’s orchestrating it?”

Jenny walked over to some of the actual controls and played with them but nothing seemed to occur.

“Look at that,” Ianto said, motioning at the switches and buttons. “They’re biometric.” He fiddled with them as well. “Alright, not assigned to TimeLords or Pilots.”

Wilfred touched them too but nothing happened. “Not human either.”

“Well I can at least say this thing existed somewhere between the fifty-eighth century and sixty-second,” Jack said.

“Why that much wiggle room?” asked Heather with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s been well used and this model still existed around the sixty-second century and didn’t exist before the fifty-eighth. It was originally intended for simple cargo use but when the war in the delta quadrant started and a lot of these ships got retrofitted with weapons,” said Jack. “This could belong to Zarvines or humans and judging by the biometric scan necessary to work this, I’d say Zarvines.”

“Those were the two species involved in the war?” asked Wilfred.

“Yes. I mean, this could have been stolen and retrofitted for a completely different species, or maybe the biometrics aren’t even locked to a specific species but the specific DNA of the crew on this ship,” Jack replied, “but it’s the best I can give.”

“But if this is really a ship, where’s the rest of it?” asked Heather. “There’s just one door and we came through it.”

“It could be that if this is really the center of it all, the rest of the ship was destroyed along with all of the universes,” said Rose. “It’s at least a possibility.”

Jenny’s eyes lit up. “Which means there’s something in here that can reverse it. Or at least stop it.”

“But we can’t control it. None of us,” Jack replied.

“And there has to be a reason why this is the center,” said Ianto. “Why is it that we all made it here and not others? Why is this the one thing left? And who is causing it? Where are they?”

“Wait!” Jack cried out. “I have…if I remember correctly there is a secret passage way somewhere around here, another opening. It was used to illegal smuggle goods and later to evacuate the consol room during the war if the ship was boarded by the enemy.”

Everyone watched as Jack quickly ran around the room, looking and looking. He messed around with things but so far nothing was working.

“If there is a secret door, maybe the way to open it is also biometrically locked,” said Heather.

“But there has to be something,” growled Jack as he continued to look. “This can’t be it.”

Ianto had to agree but what could it possibly be? There time was running out and anything that could be helpful wasn’t responding to their touch.

And then the door was opening. The one they had all come through. Who would it be? Would anyone here know them? Would there be a connection with the Doctor? Or was it something else? There weren’t any weapons in the room or on them, depending on what was about to come through that door, they could be sitting ducks. Or maybe it was the nothingness and they were about to be crushed with nowhere to go. Maybe all the theories were wrong.

Instead a human like creature with purple skin came through and by looking behind him, Ianto could clearly see it wasn’t the plain hallways that they’d just come from.

“How remarkable that this many people made it,” chuckled the person. “But we’ve already got what we needed. You’re all quite unnecessary.”

“What the hell is this?” growled out Jack, quickly advancing.

“Oh, if you’re worried don’t be. We’ll have everything put back in place,” chuckled the person. Like all universes being crushed to a singular point was nothing. Like all this wasn’t worthy of any level of concern.

“How could you possibly harness this type of power?” Rose demanded. “Why would you do it?”

“Doesn’t matter. Everything will go back to normal.”

Jack kept going and when the person pulled out a gun, he didn’t stop. Of course he didn’t.

“Oh my god!” gasped out Wilfred.

Ianto took the chance though. He hit the alien hard in his midsection and easily disarmed him, quickly pointing the gun at him.

“Woah now! I’d be more careful with that. I am the only one who can change things to the way they were.”

“And why change them at all?” Rose replied.

“What? You think I’m trying to destroy everything?” laughed the person. “You do realize I live in a universe. The universe you all here come from in fact.”

“Then why?” asked Rose.

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t really matter if I tell you a bit,” chuckled the alien. “Once the process is complete we’ll have the greatest weapon ever invented.”

“So are you a Zarvine?” asked Jenny, going by what Jack had said. “Are you involved in a war?”

“If you are, this is a pretty extreme way to get a weapon,” Rose interjected. “How can you have technology to do this but you can’t win the war? What kind of weapon are you getting out of this that you can’t obtain already?”

Unexpectedly, Wilfred interrupted their interrogation. “Isn’t-isn’t he supposed to be getting up again?”

Finally Ianto looked back and…Jack was still lying there. Still bleeding out. Nothing was changing. The hole wasn’t closing up.

“Being a still point is kind of impossible when you’re in all of time and space.”

Ianto cocked the gun.

“Now! Now! He’ll be perfectly fine once everything goes back to the way it was. It’ll be like nothing ever happened. I assure you,” the alien quickly said. “He’s just out for the rest of this.”

Maybe he was right. But as of right now all Ianto was seeing was senseless violence to win at more violence and Jack’s dead body on the ground.

“What is this?” growled Ianto.

“A matter that will soon be finished and then—”

Ianto started to walk away. After all, the alien had come through that door and it hadn’t been those hallways. He’d encountered all sorts of strange things and perhaps the door they had come through was only one way. Maybe the rest of the ship hadn’t been destroyed and it was on the other side or it was a door that opened up on multiple safe areas that existed at least for now. Ianto had no idea what would happen when he opened up the door but he had to try.

“You can’t stop it!” yelled the alien. It sounded less like someone who knew there was no hope left and more like someone desperate that Ianto didn’t open the door.

That only assured him that he had to.

Ianto pulled open the door and walked through. It looked like the room he’d just come from as far as design went. So another part of the ship. This one was retrofitted with new technology though that clashed with the old and upon two slabs were two women, one looking very familiar though Ianto couldn’t immediately place her. Both were out of it with some machine attached to their heads. Ianto went to touch one but before he could the alien was rushing in with everyone else behind him.

“Don’t touch it!”

“Donna!”

Before the alien could get closer, Wilfred had already grabbed him by his cuff. “What have you done to her you monster!”

“Why are you angry? If anything I’m helping her,” he growled.

“Yeah?” asked Ianto. “The only reason I’m not ripping this shit apart right now is because I don’t want to hurt Donna but I will put a stop to this if you don’t explain what the hell is going on!”

“Well, if you want an honest answer-hands off,” growled the alien as he pushed Wilfred away. “I was really hoping for the Doctor. That was the center point anyways, the Doctor of my universe. It’s why you all were able to get so close, why you weren’t instantaneously crushed.

“But then this woman came forward and she held the exact same potential. Don’t worry,” he quickly added, “she won’t be harmed. If anything, those locked away memories will just come back once the mind of the Doctor is gone.”

“Why would you need the Doctor at all? And for a weapon no less?” asked Rose. “Who is she? Why is she here?”

“That’s our weapon.”

Ianto turned to look at the woman in what looked like an eighteenth century dress. She didn’t look particularly terrifying but then, it was obvious there was more to tell. “How can she be a weapon?”

“She’s the best weapon ever created,” said the alien. “She’s so remarkable that the TimeLords used her as a weapon. She’s destroyed whole worlds all on her own. And now I’m going to revive her for the Zarvine.”

“You’re talking about the Master,” cut in Wilfred, his eyes wide. “No! You can’t do that!”

“I will do what I must to win this war.”

“You think this will win a war? The Master isn’t someone that can be controlled! Not even the Doctor could!” Wilfred cried.

“Well I’m smarter than that. Precautions have already been put in place to control—”

“I have no love for the Master,” interrupted Wilfred, his throat seeming to close before he managed to keep going. “But he doesn’t even share love for his own people. They turned him into a weapon and he turned against them!”

“I have this under control!”

“I doubt that!” yelled Ianto. He rubbed his eyes, his head hurting from all this but when the alien made a move he quickly focused the gun back on him. “Let me get this straight,” growled Ianto. “You focused in on the Doctor using some sort of signature and drew everything to that point with the intent of taking the Doctor’s regenerations from her. Only you got Donna instead and now you’re drawing out the part of her that’s TimeLord, a part locked away in her mind to keep herself safe. You’re pulling it out, putting it into the corpse of this person-the Master-so you can use her as a weapon, and then you’re just going to push everything apart again, put it all back together.”

“Yes, exactly! And the human woman will be fine! If anything those unlocked memories will be hers to remember again. You should—”

“No! This does not mean we understand!” Ianto yelled out.

If the Master would live now, being revived here, if Donna would have her memories back having them returned here…what did that mean for Jack? Jack wasn’t a still point here, that was why Ianto hadn’t changed when near him, not because of everything being crushed but because of him. Did that mean Jack wouldn’t be back? Was it to late? Just because the Zarvine had said otherwise didn’t mean it was true.

“Reverse time and space,” demanded Ianto. “Do it now.”

“I need the procedure to finish—”

“Do it before I do something that screws up everything,” interrupted Ianto.

“But—”

“Now!”

And then as the alien moved back, something caught Ianto’s eye. Movement from his side. He turned towards Donna and watched as she opened her eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

Three things happened at once. Wilfred ran forward. Donna sat up. And the alien ran back to the control room. Ianto launched himself towards the person as he ran to the control room, only freezing when he looked up and saw the gun pointed at him.

“I’m putting everything back. It’ll all be fine once I put it back.”

Ianto stared at him, his eyes hard before glanced back towards Jack’s still corpse. Turning back he asked, “What’s your name?”

“Kalvin. Why?”

“Because if he doesn’t survive this then I will track you down and kill you myself,” Ianto evenly replied. He slowly lowered the gun but still kept his grip on it. Now what was happening with Donna and the Master? He could tell that putting all universes back together was a complicated process which meant they probably had some time before everything started to extend and they all snapped back into place. What was happening with everyone else?

When he turned to the still open door, he saw Rose was the only one in the room with him, a hard look on her face.

“Ianto…”

“Don’t. Not right now,” he murmured. He forced his eyes away and simply kept his fist clenched to ground himself. “What’s happening?”

“Donna is awake,” Rose admitted. “She remembers.”

“She was…she was there when the Earth was stolen right?”

“She saved everyone, all universes. She stopped Davros and the Daleks,” Rose replied. “She’s the most important woman in all the world and she…I didn’t know she couldn’t survive it. The power of being the DonnaDoctor. But she remembers now.”

“I’d say it’s at least one good thing but…” Ianto simply trailed off and walked into the room to see Donna and Wilfred in a tearful hug.

They were just then pulling back and then Donna’s eyes lighted on Jenny and Ianto quickly remembered Donna would have been there for that, her sacrifice. She also would have thought Jenny was gone.

“You’re alive!” Donna yelled out. She hugged her so tightly and then started to go off, her voice moving and talking so quickly it was like Bill was there again.

And then she was seeing Rose and she was yelling out, “You! But I last saw you on that beach in the parallel world! How are you here now? Where’s the Doctor? What’s happening?”

“Woah, woah Donna,” chuckled Wilfred as he put a kind arm on his granddaughter. However, his eyes were shining with true joy. “Let’s take it a little easy.”

“Easy? Where is that skinny stick so I can give him a good slip? Erasing my damn memories and leaving me for four years? Oh, he’s going to get it when I see him again!” Donna yelled out.

Ianto laughed at that, if only to keep appearances. He could fully imagine Donna giving the Doctor a piece of her mind and putting the TimeLord easily in her place. And perhaps if things weren’t so dark and Ianto wasn’t mostly focused on what would happen after this, with Jack, then he would have laughed louder and been more involved. As it stood, he watched from afar, partially imagining what this must be like for Donna, almost like suddenly waking up from a dream only it had been real, while he continued to think on Jack.

Everyone was explaining as best they could and even Heather tried to help too as Donna of course asked, “Why the hell are you two soaking wet?” Ianto felt outside all of it though, looked on their dot from far off. It was slowly expanding back out, things clicking back into place, like someone had pressed rewind. Ianto wondered if they’d all stay on this ship of if they’d snap back to the place they’d been when all this started.

And of course, what would happen to Jack.

A flash of gold.

Particles bright and unexpected bursting force.

Everyone was jumping back from the Master as she woke up suddenly, Wilfred instinctively getting in front of his granddaughter.

“Oh my my my, this is odd,” the Master said as she looked around with mild interest. Suddenly regeneration energy burst force from her hand though she quickly shut that off with a clenched fist. “Not right now. Let’s give it a few minutes shall we?” She spun over and gave Wilfred a piercing look. “Do I know you?”

Before anyone could answer though, Kalvin was coming in, clearly shocked. “You’re not supposed to be up! You can’t be!”

“Can’t I?” laughed the Master.

And then Ianto saw his chance. The alien had already reversed everything. He could feel it, the bits and pieces reversing back. Now that a little time had passed, he could feel himself being pulled back as well along with everyone else. So what happened now wouldn’t matter to Ianto or anyone here. They were safe. And if he was being perfectly honest, he didn’t want to murder someone in cold blood, just for revenge. He didn’t want to but if Jack never woke up…well Ianto really didn’t want to think of what he was capable of.

Doing this instead, he was sure the alien would get what was coming to him and more.

Ianto walked over and grabbed Kalvin by his uniform, shoving him down in front of the Master. Everyone else jumped back, shocked by his actions as Ianto got in the Master’s face with the Zarvine at their feet.

“You were never in the Torchwood files, nothing but a footnote next to the name Harold Saxon. I’ve never met you and despite the things I’ve heard so far, I don’t know you,” Ianto said. “But my guess is that if you turned against your own race because they tried to use you as a weapon, you don’t exactly want to go through that again.”

“Do you think you’re doing me a service dear? Trying to be a humanitarian?” laughed the Master. She put a well manicured nail to the base of her skull, grunted slightly, and then ripped out what looked like a chip. Regeneration energy shined from the wound. “Do you really think a little thing like this could control me?”

Ianto just let out a small huff, “Don’t know. Don’t care. I’m just asking you to do one thing.”

He could feel himself being pulled now too. He could stay in this ship and space if he wanted to. He could feel that he could go past this reversal of time and fight it but he let it start to take him instead as it took everyone else.

“Asking me something? And what could that possibly be?” chuckled the Master.

“I don’t know what his war is about. I don’t know why the Zarvines and the humans are fighting each other. Just promise me that no matter the outcome, this one knows no peace.”

“Oh, my own personal pet then, hmm? What fun that could be!”

And then in the blink of an eye Ianto was back in the TARDIS. The Doctor was in front of him, talking. To the side, Ianto saw the movement. He saw how Jack fell to the ground, almost like it was in slow motion. He saw how despite being in the exact same place as before, water was suddenly flowing down his shoulders.

The Doctor didn’t stop talking, really it was more like someone had just turned the sound off. Everything went numb as Ianto lunged for Jack and his still body. He couldn’t be dead. This couldn’t be Jack’s end.

“What happened!” cried the Doctor. “Jack? Jack what’s wrong!?”

So the Doctor really didn’t remember. For the Doctor she’d just blinked and it was done. She’d missed the entire thing, not a single memory of it. And Jack was just lying there. Still dead.

But there wasn’t a bullet hole in his head. That had to count for something. He wasn’t bleeding out on the TARDIS’ floor. That had to matter in some shape or form and yet the fact that water seemed to flow down his arms just proved it all. Jack was really dead this time. There was no force that was going to bring him back.

Bill.

Wonderful, beautiful, lucky Bill Potts.

Ianto knew the story. But Bill’s heart had still been beating. She’d still been conscious. He checked Jack’s pulse just to make sure but no, there wasn’t a heartbeat.

He just had to think. He had to figure this out. Jack was dead but he’d died so many times. What of each in between moment? What of each time when his heart had stilled? Ianto reached for those moments, reached out for every death of Captain Jack Harkness. There had to be something there, something Ianto could lock into and harness and keep Jack breathing again.

If he could move across different dimensions, different universes, who was to say he couldn’t keep a man like Jack breathing? He refused to accept such an end. An end where no one knew, where Jack had just died with no intention and no knowledge that he would, no plan. Everything Ianto had done and kept doing was to see Jack again and he had honestly never been happier to hear that he could spend his life forever with the man.

Ianto had been happy in the TARDIS, traveling beside him and the Doctor, but there were still more adventures to be had, more memories.

He reached and reached and pulled at the time vortex. He felt at Jack’s life in a way he hadn’t been able to before. The gradual dips where every death occurred, where time slowed and stopped before jumpstarting again. Going up and down, learning the pattern, Ianto came to the moment he was in and fell forward into the oblivion that was the stopped timeline.

It felt like he’d fall forever.

But Ianto started to pull at it as he fell. He gripped time and simultaneously followed the dead timeline to its end. A paradox of movement, just like Jack. A still point inside a person.

Yes! There! Jack was meant to live on! Ianto could see that, see the time laid out in front of Jack. The Zarvine had severed it though, cut it in half by shooting him at the center of his contraption. But the fact that Ianto could still see that future pattern again, the gradual rise and fall of life and death over and over again, it mean he could pull this all together.

He just had to push himself to reach that point without letting go. Bridge it, move over the time like glue, put it all back together. So close…it was just right there—

Ianto screamed at the feeling.

Every ability that he had was locked up, frozen in place. It was like someone had pressed pause only Ianto’s senses were still there and he felt everything shudder to a halt. He was forced out of the other dimensions and time in an excruciating way, now seeing and fully being in the TARDIS again. For a moment, even his own life, his breath skipped a beat and he could feel himself almost crumble under the weight, glass shards hitting the ground, broken and impossible to piece back together.

And then…slowly…oh so slowly he softened, became malleable. The physical aspects started to work again as the frozen water turned to frost instead and spread over his skin and clothes, an unexpectedly welcomed sight.

Jack open his eyes and breathed in.

Ianto could feel himself trembling, both from emotion and exhaustion. Usually it was Jack that needed time after coming back to life, especially if it was a particularly gruesome death. Only this time Ianto almost immediately felt Jack holding him, keeping him together and upright.

He just couldn’t stop shaking.

“What happened? What just happened?!” the Doctor cried for…who knew how many times. Ianto hadn’t even been listening through most of the Doctor’s questions.

And then Jack asked too while he held Ianto there. “What happened?”


	25. Chapter 25

Everything hurt so god damn much but Ianto forced himself through it. He cleared his throat and let Jack help him stand though he didn’t dare to let go of his hand afterwards.

“The universe-every universe-just collapsed,” gasped Ianto. “And then it just popped back into place.”

“Ianto, what are you talking about?” asked the Doctor.

“Before…you said there was something off about the TARDIS.”

“Yes, but it was just a solar storm bothering the equipment.”

“Then both of you really have no recollection of it. Any of this,” Ianto replied.

“Of what?” asked Jack. “What happened?”

Ianto spoke about it all, the events that happened in the blink of an eye to both the Doctor and Jack. He didn’t understand why Jack didn’t remember. Maybe it was because he hadn’t consciously been aware once everything snapped back. Ianto didn’t know but there were plenty of points where he had to stop in his story. Jenny was the first one as he watched the Doctor’s eyes water and the way she clutched at her jacket.

“That’s not possible.”

“But it is! She explained it to both me and Heather,” said Ianto. “Maybe it’s because she’s a force grown clone and that’s why she didn’t regenerate like you were expecting her to. Maybe that’s why she didn’t physically change and maybe there’s a different amount of times she can but you’d left by the time she woke up again and she’s been running ever since. Having the time of her life it sounded like it. She’d just lived past her third birthday when I met her.”

“You mean she’s still out there?”

“Yes, and she’d love to find you again,” Ianto answered with a kind look.

“And after that?”

“We found you and Rose.”

“A younger Rose then?” questioned the Doctor.

“No, the Rose I know,” Ianto replied. “Like I said, it wasn’t just ours. It was every universe being pulled to that small point. The only reason it was people we knew and not more random is because there was a reason behind all this.”

“You said you met me but I can’t remember,” Jack said.

“I’m getting to that point. We also met Wilfred who you know Doctor,” Ianto said. “Donna’s grandfather I believe.”

“Yes, I…I haven’t seen him in ages,” the Doctor murmured, her throat choking up again. “Is he alright?”

“I believe everyone is,” Ianto answered.

From there he continued on and up too where they entered the ship and as Ianto talked about the Zarvine, Jack asked, “How do you know all that?”

“You were explaining it to everyone. And then finally the one orchestrating all of it came in,” Ianto sighed. “All to just build a weapon. I think you know her Doctor.”

Ianto was interrupted plenty more as the end of the whole thing was told. Donna and the Master and all that they both meant to the Doctor. Jack tensed up at hearing the Master was likely alive and well, something the Doctor clearly saw as she put a hand on Jack.

“She’s different from him. The version you knew,” the Doctor encouragingly said.

“Maybe so but I hope you find him then,” Jack muttered. “I don’t like the idea of the Master running around freely like that.”

“Don’t worry. I will,” murmured the Doctor.

And then Ianto finished it with stitching Jack’s timeline back together.

“Are you alright?”

“Really? You’re asking me? I’m still worried about you,” muttered Ianto.

“I’m not the one finding it hard to stand,” Jack retorted.

Ianto couldn’t quite argue at that as he looked over at the Doctor. “I take it you have a lot of things you need to take care of now.”

The Doctor slowly nodded. “Not to suggest your lying or anything, but if what you say happened actually has remained, then yes there are many people I need to go see and find again.”

“And you need to rest,” Jack added.

“No, I’m fine. Really,” Ianto replied, finally letting go if only to prove that. “We all have our places to go. No point in taking away the Doctor’s time.”

“But Ianto you just—”

“We were discussing leaving before,” Ianto interrupted. “For both of you, all of this happened in a blink of an eye. I don’t see any reason in changing this.”

“Are you really alright?” asked Jack.

Ianto forced himself to nod. “Yes. I really am. Besides, I’d rather get on and leave that horrible mess behind.”

“And what of the device that this Zarvine used to do all this?” the Doctor asked.

“From what I understood, it was pretty pointless unless someone wanted to end all of creation. Besides, considering the company the Zarvine kept, I’m sure it’s been destroyed already.”

The Doctor looked at Ianto for a long time before quickly hugging him. “Take care of yourself Ianto. And you to Jack. You may be immortal but that doesn’t mean you’re always immune.”

“Understood Doctor.”

What should have been an easy parting was made harder by what Ianto had said. But at least the Doctor had a definite direction for herself. She had Wilfred and Donna to see and after that Jenny and the Master to find.

Once on the planned planet, they gave their goodbyes again with promises that it wouldn’t really be the end. Then Jack and the Doctor saluted each other before the Doctor was gone.

“Do you think John knows?”

Ianto was surprised by the question as the TARDIS faded away with that uniquely familiar noise.

“The Doctor that left with Rose,” Jack added.

“If Rose remembers as well. I hope she does. I hope John can rest easy knowing Jenny is alive,” Ianto replied, “knowing the TimeLords are alive.”

Jack nodded and then he looked at him. Like he was expecting more, for Ianto to keep going. And of course Jack would understand there was more to why Ianto wanted to leave the Doctor’s side right away, after all that. But Ianto wasn’t ready for that talk. Not yet. He didn’t feel like reliving the all to resent guilt that rested inside him for multiple reasons.

Instead he asked, “So we’re in New Boston Three, right? How about you show me around?”

Jack smiled in a way that was all to knowing and took Ianto’s hand, dragging through the space port.

They really were starting anew in this instance. Sure, the TARDIS sometimes liked to take control and wasn’t the most reliable form of transportation but it was nice doing what most would probably consider the old fashioned route to getting around.

And Ianto liked this. He liked worrying about the fact that they’d need money and supplies and have to figure out whether they’d just stay in New Boston Three for a few days or go to another planet with other opportunities. Traveling both as the Pilot and inside the TARDIS had been enjoyable and new and different but the side of Ianto that had joined Torchwood and was still at least somewhat human missed stability.

Sure, visiting a place gave you one view but Ianto enjoyed having streets he knew by name, people he could remember. He liked getting underneath a city’s film to the dirt and grit underneath it, the parts that truly made it unique. And thankfully Jack was the same way. Perhaps the Doctor even fancied more than the TARDIS at times or maybe even the people he traveled with were his cities. She let them come along on her adventures, got to know them better, and perhaps even learned something about herself along the way.

But either way Ianto enjoyed this worrying, this challenge to figure out what was going to happen to him and Jack and what the next moment could be.

He liked walking the streets with Jack at his side and being introduced to other alien races and changes in technology. He liked being guided by Jack and having the man at his side and knowing he was alive and well because of Ianto.

But at the same time, that was one of the many weights that laid on Ianto’s conscious.

Jack didn’t ask that first night. He didn’t even ask the second night after they’d left the Doctor’s company. But he did ask on the third, making it clear that he wanted to know, needed to.

Ianto wasn’t ready for the conversation. In a way, he didn’t want to ever divulge the truth. But it was better this way and Jack had a right to know. Especially if they were going to continue staying together.

They were in a hotel room they’d managed to get after scraping by and a rather interesting interaction with some criminals. Jack held him and it was clear that Ianto wouldn’t be able to push it back any farther.

“What else happened?” Jack asked. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Ianto was quite for some time, just thinking on those final moments before he’d been pulled back to the TARDIS. “I didn’t tell the Doctor everything either.”

“And what was that?”

He was silent for a bit more and then asked, “Tell me about that war between the Zarvines and the humans. Why did it start? How did it end?”

“Why—”

“Please. And then I’ll explain further,” murmured Ianto.

“It was purely commercial,” Jack eventually replied. “Full of greed and hate. Most wars are like that. Even the ones that start out pure. Seems like they’re all like that.”

“And its end?”

“The humans won. Never knew exactly how. From what I heard the Zarvines simply collapsed from within.”

“I wonder if I caused that,” Ianto murmured.

“What do you mean? How could you have possibly caused it?”

“I said things to the Master. Things I shouldn’t have. I asked her to do something for me.”

“Ianto, whatever you asked—”

“I told her to make his life a living hell. I asked her to hurt him for me because I thought you might not come back. I thought you might be gone forever,” murmured Ianto. “And I basically just pushed a psychopath forward.”

Ianto closed his eyes as he felt Jack pull him over.

“Ianto, whatever you asked of the Master, he follows his own path,” Jack said. He felt him kiss him before murmuring, “Come on. Look at me.”

Slowly he opened his eyes. “I know that,” Ianto replied. “That’s not why I didn’t say it. That’s not why I’m worried. I’m worried about what it says about me.”

“You were desperate and angry and hurting,” Jack said.

“I asked her to do something horrendous so I wouldn’t go back and do it myself,” bit out Ianto. “What does that say about me? How could I allow myself do that? Am I a coward or monster or—”

“It makes you human,” Jack interrupted. “Nothing changes because of this.”

“But—”

“You were scared and desperate and angry. You were human and maybe you said things you shouldn’t have, maybe the Master would have done the exact same thing if you hadn’t, maybe what happened to the Zarvines in that moment can’t be changed. Maybe the war was meant to go that way,” Jack said. “I don’t know. But I don’t condemn you for what happened. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Some of those things you know, some you don’t. But you still love me and I still love you Ianto.”

And that was what Ianto had wanted but hadn’t hoped for. Deep down though, he’d known that coming clean to Jack would only be the right decision, that it would turn out alright. But it was the other thing that had really started to fester inside Ianto’s head that worried him. One that he didn’t think Jack would take so willingly.

“What else is there?” Jack softly asked.

Ianto closed his eyes and simply breathed, in and out, calming himself. And then he told him.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go the final chapter! Phew, and just in time for school to really start. Thanks again for reading! I had a blast writing this :)

“I brought you back.”

For a moment, Jack and Ianto simply stared at each other before Jack gave a soft chuckle and said, “You told me that. You said you stitched my timeline together.”

“But I…”

“What is it Ianto? Is there something else? Are you afraid that you’ve damaged something you shouldn’t have? What—”

“No it’s not that,” Ianto quickly replied. “It’s just…I understand what it feels like to be forced to live when you don’t want to. I’ve felt what it’s like to be brought back to life and I know of at least some of the many lifetimes you’ve lived. The people you were forced to leave behind. I know you searched for the Doctor because you wanted to be cured and I know that even after he told you he couldn’t help you, you still hoped and searched.

“And you died and I forced you back to the exact same way. Unable to die.”

Ianto closed his eyes and…waited for something to happen. He’d been so wrapped up in his own emotions and feelings that he hadn’t thought about Jack, of the pain that he would go through once waking up nor the fact that he’d be cursed to immortality again. And he’d worried what Jack would think of him for making that choice for Jack.

So he waited, eyes still closed. Maybe Jack wouldn’t say a word. Perhaps he’d just walk away. He didn’t quite expect the light hit on his head though. As he opened his eyes, Jack kissed him lightly before pulling back.

“You really can be an idiot some times.”

“What do you mean?” murmured Ianto. “I didn’t—”

“I’ll gladly live forever with you here,” Jack replied.

“But you—”

“I would have left you behind Ianto,” Jack replied. “I wanted a normal life and even during the decades before I met you again, I still wished for that. And some days I do wish for an end. But you make it so I don’t have to wait this out alone. I have you here and I couldn’t imagine leaving you behind.”

“So you’re not…upset?”

“Ianto, if I ever had a chance to live a normal life, especially if I could live that life with you, I would take it in a heartbeat,” Jack said. “But I’ll deal with the pain and I’ll keep living as long as you stay with me. I’m not mad. If anything I would’ve been pissed as hell that you would’ve been left all alone and would have haunted your ass.”

The laugh that escaped Ianto’s throat was unexpected and he pulled Jack close. “You really mean that?”

“Completely,” murmured Jack. “I did say I love you after all.”

“I love you too.”

“Glad to see we’re finally on the same page then.”

Ianto chuckled. “Yeah, finally.”

And there Ianto was after it all, finally able to relax and just focus on Jack and the fact that nothing really was between them anymore. He’d gone through so much, traveled through the impossible and changed from something more than human. He’d done it all for Jack and had given himself to him yet doubt had been present. Present enough to make Ianto wonder if Jack was unhappy with him for bringing him back when he hadn’t asked for it.

But Jack had just laid it all out there and he wanted to keep living with Ianto at his side. It was more than Ianto would have dared to ask for.

The next morning they talked about where they’d go next. They’d stayed for a while in New Boston Three and Ianto expected it was more for him to just get used to this new lifestyle and living on these future alien worlds. After all, even what with the adventures he and Jack and the Doctor had experienced together, it was still different actually living in such areas and basically making it on their own rather than having the TARDIS to rely on.

“So, I’m guessing you want to move on,” grinned Jack as he nudged Ianto while they walked down the street.

“I mean…we can stay…”

“No, no,” laughed Jack. “I can tell this place just isn’t your style. Not really mine either.”

Ianto raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, if I was on my own and in the mood to party every other night and find a partner in between,” laughed Jack. “But not right now. I want some trouble to get into with you and I’ve been wandering to long. I want something stable. At least for a decade.”

Ianto laughed at that as he nodded in agreement. “Well there’s a commercial ship leaving tonight for Third Earth. Why not try there?”

“Hmm, haven’t actually been there. Been to Earth Two. It had its ups and downs but definitely not Third Earth.”

“Then we should scout it out now. Make sure there’s room and we have enough to board.”

“Well if anything goes wrong I could always sell my body.”

“Jack.”

“Just an option.”

“Or we could just become stowaways.”

“Naughty.”

“It’s more interesting than your idea.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that…”

“Well I like it better than your idea.”

Jack laughed and put up his hands. “Alright, if we don’t have enough funds we’ll sneak onto the ship. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“I’m surprised you’re so on board this very much rule breaking idea.”

“Why play it safe when this makes it so much more interesting?” asked Ianto.

“Point taken. I just never took you for an adrenaline junky,” laughed Jack.

“Why not take some risks when you can afford to?”

“You know, I think I’m a bad influence on you.”

“Or a good one.”

As it stood, they actually didn’t need to stowaway on that ship but that didn’t keep it from happening later on as Ianto found something as simple as traveling to a new planet could carry all number of challenges and difficulties for them. After quite a few detours and an actual encounter with space pirates, they finally made it to Third Earth.

They settled in, found a city that looked like it had plenty of trouble to give them and started to slip into society. It was challenging but incredibly fun to learn new phrases and cultures and all the little details. Still, even now after all this Ianto could see bits and pieces of past cultures from Earth and humanity and honestly that was the most interesting part. Though also most frustrating when people used the wrong name or concepts for certain things though he imagined that was how the Doctor and Jack felt the majority of the time too.

Ianto thought of buying an apartment at one point, it was a nice thought. But their new space was basically their home again, much as Torchwood had been. Besides, basically working at home was pretty great.

After a while, he even went back to the nicer clothes. Though he always kept the jacket Rose had given him and often wore it with the button down shirts and slacks. Just another version of him coming forward and forming in this new world.

But with Jack at his side, he didn’t mind the changes or adapting to this new world.

In this new world, Ianto enjoyed taking his time going to the markets. It always allowed him a good peak into the current culture along with the immigrants that came and a good bit of gossip when Ianto was keeping his ears open about a case.

One day became different though as Ianto saw a flash of blonde. He hesitated when she turned and he finally got to see her face. She had a large smile just as Ianto remembered and those incredibly bright eyes. She seemed to be with a man that, from his own shocked faces, wasn’t from here. It seemed that she really did take after her dad.

Ianto didn’t approach though. What if this was Jenny before he’d met her? What if she didn’t yet know about the world crushing to a singular point? Or maybe Ianto’s belief that the others remembered was wrong. Maybe it was only because of his genetic makeup and only he and Heather had remembered.

But no, her eyes finally found his and they didn’t keep moving like he was just another stranger in the crowd. No, her eyes lit up and she suddenly pushed through everyone to get to him.

“Ianto! I can’t believe it’s you!” she cried out as she wrapped her arms around him though just as quickly she leaned back and asked, “You do know me right?”

Ianto laughed in response. “Yes, of course I do Jenny. I’m glad to see you’re alright.”

“Me too! What about Jack though? And everyone else?”

“Jack is alive and well,” Ianto said with a small smile. “And everyone else should have been too.”

“That’s good. So are you with dad?”

“No, just me and Jack I’m afraid though I did get a phone number,” chuckled Ianto.

“Really? A phone number?”

“It’s a helpline,” Ianto replied with a grin. “I can just give it to you now or you could come over if you like. I think Jack would really enjoy meeting you.”

“He doesn’t remember?” asked Jenny curiously.

“No but I of course told him everything,” Ianto said.

“Well then I look forward to reintroducing myself,” Jenny laughed. “This is Mark by the way. I picked him up some time in the twenty-eighth century.”

They shook hands and Ianto looked curiously at her. “So you have a device you can time travel with?”

“Oh no, not even close,” laughed Jenny. “There were a few times I happened to fall open some cracks in time and well, with this one anyways we were actually fighting off this rogue time agent and I managed to get this from him.” She quickly showed her wrist. “But it broke when we turned about around this time. I’ve just been looking for some way to fix it or maybe someone who can.”

“Jack might actually be able to help. Or even the Doctor if you can get a hold of her,” Ianto said. “It’s actually been a while. Could be nice to see your dad again.”

“Sounds like a plan,” grinned Jenny, quickly taking Mark’s hand and dragging him along too.

As they went back to what was basically his and Jack’s home, Ianto and Jenny caught up and he learned a bit about Mark as well. Ianto expected things to go fairly normally. Perhaps he could make dinner for them all and they could get a hold of the Doctor and see them on their way.

But of course even this far away from the TARDIS, things were never truly normal when the Doctor was in your life. Before he could even pick up a phone, Ianto found himself and Jack and Jenny whisked away into another adventure more fantastical than the last.


End file.
